the Lovers in a Roommate Conflict

[Leviosa]

I did not get along with 2 of the girls in the apartment but due to recent events regarding them and a 3rd party, matters have worsened. I want to confront the two and say everything I am truly feeling/think about them and the situation. But I want to make the best overall choice so I consulted my deck. This is the 3rd "section" of a 9 card reading using RWS.

how should I handle this situation? what should I do?

3 of Wands - allow the time between now and Monday to pass. Wait and do not feed this negative energy.

Queen of Pentacles - act from a nurturing place and speak with good intent

Lovers - make the choice you think you should, with your heart

Quite frankly I believe the message should be raw/clear/devoid of this Queen of Pents energy. Please help me interpret.

 

[Pami619]

I think the lovers are saying do what's best for you.
If they avoid it do what's best for you if they don't compromise do what's best to do.
Forgive them as people because that's how much they are and you know whatever that comes outside they have it inside so I doubt you have to feel faulty for something.
Time heal all wounds as the Queen of Pentacles would say.
I think you should focus on something else thereon.

 

[Leviosa]

I think the lovers are saying do what's best for you.
If they avoid it do what's best for you if they don't compromise do what's best to do.
Forgive them as people because that's how much they are and you know whatever that comes outside they have it inside so I doubt you have to feel faulty for something.
Time heal all wounds as the Queen of Pentacles would say.
I think you should focus on something else thereon.

Thanks for your response Pami.

However, I am not looking for compromise. I actually want to get everything out in the open that I have not yet said to them and be completely finished. We are roommates and we do not have to be friends. In fact the last thing I want is to be friends with them.

That being said, I agree with your statement about the Lovers and see this last major arcana in the trio as saying ultimately, go ahead and do it! Queen of Pents still unsure of though but I think you're on to something. Sounds like a very Q of P statement there and it relates to the time/waiting aspect of the 3 Wands. Anyone have further thoughts on that given this reading?

 

[Grizabella]

These are my thoughts about these cards. The 3 of Wands simply says to look for another place to live. That's a very practical thing to do. The Queen of Pentacles is a very down-to-earth woman who isn't prone to the kind of scene the other queens would represent. The Wands queen would be inflamed and come out all passionately upset and angry, probably. The Cups queen would be a sobbing, crying, wounded mess, and the Swords queen might actually become physical with her sword and hurt someone as well as cutting them to ribbons with their tongue.

The Lovers plus the other two cards advises you that you've made your choice to move. There's nothing positive in making a scene. You've made your choice and being angry and telling them off won't accomplish anything but added undue stress and misery for you and them.

 

[Amanda]

Here are some key ideas from Anthony Louis on the 3 of Wands: "Cooperation. Help in putting plans into action. Sharing creative energies. Exchanging ideas. Opportunities. Setting goals for the future. Teamwork. Negotiations." Further, "Take the opportunity to cooperate with others if you wish to lay the groundwork for future development."

The Queen of Pentacles/Lovers cards are unfriendly. If you make the focus a negative one about them as people, then you're not really allowing them the opportunity to help resolve the problem in the shared circumstances. You could come off as putting forth negative energies of jealousy, selfishness, entitlement, or being 'better than' them (Queen/Lovers), which will definitely not instill a sense of cooperation from them, and the situation-ships between you and them will surely deteriorate.

 

[Leviosa]

These are my thoughts about these cards. The 3 of Wands simply says to look for another place to live. That's a very practical thing to do. The Queen of Pentacles is a very down-to-earth woman who isn't prone to the kind of scene the other queens would represent. The Wands queen would be inflamed and come out all passionately upset and angry, probably. The Cups queen would be a sobbing, crying, wounded mess, and the Swords queen might actually become physical with her sword and hurt someone as well as cutting them to ribbons with their tongue.

The Lovers plus the other two cards advises you that you've made your choice to move. There's nothing positive in making a scene. You've made your choice and being angry and telling them off won't accomplish anything but added undue stress and misery for you and them.

For several reasons, I will have to continue living with them until May of next year minus December, at which time I will be traveling. So about 5 more months. Also, I have been dealing with this nonsense for quite some time now but it only just recently came to a head. Given this most recent incident, you believe the cards are saying I should just keep it to myself and wait until I can move out in May? At this point it's been a day or two so I'm rather calmed about the situation but I still feel inclined to speak up. If prompted to speak to these two, how do you think the queen of Pents would go about it?

For added insight, there are 5 of us in the apartment and the other two girls are very good friends of mine who also dislike the two this reading involves.

 

[Leviosa]

Here are some key ideas from Anthony Louis on the 3 of Wands: "Cooperation. Help in putting plans into action. Sharing creative energies. Exchanging ideas. Opportunities. Setting goals for the future. Teamwork. Negotiations." Further, "Take the opportunity to cooperate with others if you wish to lay the groundwork for future development."

The Queen of Pentacles/Lovers cards are unfriendly. If you make the focus a negative one about them as people, then you're not really allowing them the opportunity to help resolve the problem in the shared circumstances. You could come off as putting forth negative energies of jealousy, selfishness, entitlement, or being 'better than' them (Queen/Lovers), which will definitely not instill a sense of cooperation from them, and the situation-ships between you and them will surely deteriorate.

The thing is, I can understand the situation from their perspective however that doesn't justify their actions. They have repeatedly caused drama and I recognize the underlying reasons so I don't overall think of them as bad people. But I also don't want a resolve or cooperation. I just want us all to be clear on what will no longer be tolerated and then cut off interaction. This reading overall is giving me the sense that I need to be more diplomatic than I would like. Do you agree?

 

[Grizabella]

For several reasons, I will have to continue living with them until May of next year minus December, at which time I will be traveling. So about 5 more months. Also, I have been dealing with this nonsense for quite some time now but it only just recently came to a head. Given this most recent incident, you believe the cards are saying I should just keep it to myself and wait until I can move out in May? At this point it's been a day or two so I'm rather calmed about the situation but I still feel inclined to speak up. If prompted to speak to these two, how do you think the queen of Pents would go about it?

For added insight, there are 5 of us in the apartment and the other two girls are very good friends of mine who also dislike the two this reading involves.

I don't see that it's wrong for you to speak to them about issues that are a big problem, but I think the Queen of Pentacles would be inclined to be sort of dispassionate and non-confrontational compared to the other Queens and their suit characteristics.

For instance, since I don't know much about the actual situation, I'll just suggest a sample scenario. Let's say that the girls who are out of favor are coming in late at night making noise and waking up the other room-mates who are getting their sleep for the next day's classes. The rowdy room-mates then mess up the kitchen making late night snacks, litter up the bathroom, and then it's discovered that they've borrowed items without asking. It could be that this has built up over a long time and finally, it's just got you boiling mad and you feel like just unleashing a whole big anger session where you're listing all their annoyances from the very start of them living there and an angry battle ensues that gets way over-heated.

The Queen of Pentacles would be more inclined to keep her temper and make a matter-of-fact, non-accusatory list of things that had been so rude and annoying all this time and that cause you to have decided that you're going to move out. Being cool, calm, but matter-of-fact and not unleashing a pent-up fury would be her way. It would not let the behavior continue without being heard, but it wouldn't end up in a big cat fight that would help nobody and just cause more antagonism between all of you. See what I mean?

 

[Quest85]

Just another angle:

3 of wands: you and your 2 friends
Queen of pentacles: you as the heart of/for the home
The Lovers: The other 2
*notice that all the persons in the cards are facing diffrent directions..
Which kind of confirms your own statement that you are not a good mix together, in fact you are all seeing this very differently

Feels like your in the middle in of all of this. And I also feel you are the one who has to deal with it....in a Queen of Pentacles practical manner.. So do speak up, but be practical about it. As you said yourself: You don't want to compromise or be friends... So pick the practical matters, those that are most convenient to you at this time.
(and not the emotional or reasoning part) You'll be out in May...To probably a much better place-> look forward to that and make plans for that future....mean time : all you can do is wait this one out

Best wishes

 

[Amanda]

The thing is, I can understand the situation from their perspective however that doesn't justify their actions.

If their own perspectives do not justify their actions, then would it be fair to suggest that your perspective does not justify your actions? We're looking for an even/shared/fair playing field here. What does justify everyone's actions, if not their own perspectives?

They have repeatedly caused drama and I recognize the underlying reasons so I don't overall think of them as bad people.

Good, they're not bad people; there's a positive. So they're probably not doing what they're doing because they're bad people or to intentionally antagonize you, correct? What do good people with neutral/good intentions towards you deserve as a response from you with regard to their behavior? Rather than focusing on how they "repeatedly caused drama", how does this drama have an effect on you, and do you have a proposed, situational solution to help address it?

But I also don't want a resolve or cooperation. I just want us all to be clear on what will no longer be tolerated and then cut off interaction.

It seems as though you are not actually in a primary position to set ground rules for everyone to follow, or are you? If you're not, then to take that position now and declare yourself 'Queen of the Castle' would likely go unappreciated, unheard, perhaps even scoffed at or retaliated against. If you are in a primary rule-setting position, and you have no intentions of resolving, cooperating, or tolerating, then it seems this part of the reading might actually be moot...?

This reading overall is giving me the sense that I need to be more diplomatic than I would like. Do you agree?

Yes. "Leadership is the art of getting someone else to do something you want done because he wants to do it." -Dwight D. Eisenhower

There are three steps in this quote:
1. The art of getting someone else to do something;
2. Something that you want done;
3. Because that person also wants to do it, even though they don't know it yet.

You can manage a house, manage the bills, manage-manage-manage anything and everything within whatever 'system' you are living/working in, but you will never manage people without the art of /cooperative/ leadership (unless you are in a very clearly defined and understood role of 'Do as I say, because I said so and you must'.) You shouldn't throw your weight around anyway to command respect, but if you do, then it would help to actually have that understood power to do so. Otherwise, people are going to look at you like, "Who does she think she is?" You may be 'better' behaved than these folks, but that is just your perspective, and your perspective does not justify your actions, correct?