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Giving Readings

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 22 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.



zoso  22 Apr 2004 
To anyone who gives readings:
Do you ever find that in certain cases you refrain from giving info because it wasn't time for them to know, or knowing would somehow lead the person astray? How do you handle a situation like this, or is this not a possible situation? 


closrapexa  22 Apr 2004 
I try to avoid those stuations. To me, the problem is that the querent is unwilling to deal with the issues at hand. If that happens, I prefer to close the reading with as much of my dignity intact than try and fight against a wall.
But not telling people things because they weren't ready? Yes, I've had that once or twice. Also, if I saw that my speaking might change the future, I would prefer not to say anything.
Plus, I'm realistic. I cannot see the future. At best, only hints or shadows of it. Who am I to tell some one else what it will be? 


hedgecub  22 Apr 2004 
I always tell the querent exactly what I see. I don't think it's my place to decide what they should or shouldn't know.
I feel that if they're not supposed to know something, then it won't show up in the cards. I don't see why I would be told something if they're not supposed to know about it. 


Alissa  22 Apr 2004 
zoso, this is a great question!

To a certain extent, I try to "give away" as much information as I'm getting during a typical reading. I try to "hold nothing back," with the concept of the reading flowing through me, and then I'm just the sieve that catches and releases the flow.

But....

There are readings, and there are readings.

There are those whom you might read for who, you may sense, aren't in a good mental space to hear that "Yes, he's having an affair, and yes, your children are being torn apart by the games you two are playing with each other."

During the times I feel I need to "hold back," I usually fall back on diplomacy, and years of customer training speak - using "I feel..." statements instead of "You" statements, and other tactics to present the information as delicately as possible. 


ros  22 Apr 2004 
Usually I just tell them what I see but when I want to hold back something I'll say

"at this time of your reading the cards are showing ..." 


mj07  22 Apr 2004 
This is a good question. At this point in my learning I don't feel comfortable trying to predict the future using the cards (not sure how I feel about that anyway, but that's a different story...) However, a question like this came up just last night when talking with a friend. She used to read tarot but says she doesn't do it anymore b/c she feels it can be "dangerous" (bit of an exaggeration I think) Her reasoning follows:

A friend of hers who has the "gift" did a reading for her several years ago. She said "oh, you're going to meet a guy, he'll look like X, you'll do this and that, it will be great for a while, but oh, it's not going to work out." Sure enough, within a month she met a guy, he looked like X, they did this and that together, and it lasted over a year before they broke up. She says now that she always had it in the back of her mind that since her friend made the prediction that it wouldn't last she created a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

In a situation like that, would it perhaps have been better for her friend to NOT tell her everything? I wonder... 


Osher  22 Apr 2004 
As said before, a wonderful question.

Hmm, I tend to say everything, but....

...if difficult I try and be diplomatic, or put a positive spin on a negative situation. A few months back I didn't for once, and the woman I read for became very upset. I then realised thatI had in fact been too strong, and a negative situation had been compounded by me. On the other hand, positive situations should also be played down a bit, incase of false hope.

However, just to be a true Gemini, I do sometimes use heavier langauge, if I feel really sure of the reading, and it is not something potentially upsetting.

Er....in short it is a case of reading the questioner, as well as reading the cards. 


DarkElectric  22 Apr 2004 
Wow. Good question.
I try to tell my querents everything that I see in any given spread UNLESS~ I come across a situation where it's obvoius that the client is maybe not telling me the entire truth about the situation, or is in denial about something, and it might really hurt them to even suggest what I see.
I know, that sounds weirdly judgemental, and I hope it isn't, but it's actually happened to me more than once. I find it a lot better to try to offer oblique guidance, than to come right out and say "Hey, there's some falsehood going on here. Are you telling me the truth?"
In one case, marital infidelity was clearly indicated. I asked if this were by chance a possibility, and she said "NO, no, that would NEVER happen in our marriage." It turned out that yes, he was cheating, she knew it, and was trying to confirm it any way she could. And I felt as if she used me to do it. Because it was right there in the spread in front of me. So I just continued, and didn't try to push anything. I found out through a mutual friend (who didn't know I'd given her a reading) what happened. :(

In another case, the spread indicated an odd love triangle, with some substance abuse issues, and a dangerous situation developing soon. I described what I saw as delicately as possible, but the woman assured me that this couldn't be. Well, she became a regular client. It got to the point where she finally divulged her situation, after she had come to me in a terribly upset state. She and her husband had a roommate, and this unfortunate man had just been arrested for shooting a gun in the house. He was trying to commit suicide. Alcoholism was involved. It turns out that this fellow was not just a roomate, the lady had 2 husbands, it was a polyamorus relationship, and she was worried I would judge her if she told me the truth. Which I didn't, but she was scared to tell me. But the truth always seems to come out in the cards. At least it does for me. And I try to tell people everything in the best way I know how. But sometimes I find it's kinder not to outright tell EVERYTHING, but suggest the possibility of such,( if I feel I can) so they know at least. 


zoso  22 Apr 2004 
Thank you all for replying!

Isn't strange how the cards can tell more than the person is willing to reveal and you can get a feeling for the real situation and its shell, so to speak? 


MeeWah  22 Apr 2004 
Aside from the bearer of dubious news to be given in turn, a dubious reception, there are times whence silence is golden; where judgement calls need to be made. That is part of the responsibility of reading: knowing how best to convey information & what can be communicated to encourage the client towards developing their own conclusions; to recognizing self-empowerment. 


purple_scorp  23 Apr 2004 
Quote:
Originally posted by mj07
A friend of hers who has the "gift" did a reading for her several years ago. She said "oh, you're going to meet a guy, he'll look like X, you'll do this and that, it will be great for a while, but oh, it's not going to work out." Sure enough, within a month she met a guy, he looked like X, they did this and that together, and it lasted over a year before they broke up. She says now that she always had it in the back of her mind that since her friend made the prediction that it wouldn't last she created a kind of self-fulfilling prophecy.

In a situation like that, would it perhaps have been better for her friend to NOT tell her everything? I wonder...


Personally, I don't subscribe to the self-fulfilling prophecy theory because it doesn't allow for free-will or choice.

I agree that Tarot readings can predict what may happen in the future, but I don't think they control it.

Cheers

purple_scorp 


The Giving Readings thread was originally posted on 22 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.

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