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Need insight on question

Thread originally posted on the Aeclectic Tarot Forum on 16 Apr 2004, and now archived in the Forum Library.



ncefafn  16 Apr 2004 
A client e-mailed me a request for a reading today. Her question was, "Will I marry XYZ (gave me only initials) and, if so, when and how will we meet?"

Okay, if she had been sitting down face-to-face with me, I would have immediately explained, this is not something that I can answer. But the advantage and disadvantage of internet readings is that you, as the reader, have time to think about things. And in thinking, I've got myself bogged down. How do I deal with this? Telling someone you can't do a reading on a question like that in person is tricky enough, but over the internet, without facial expressions and body language, it could be disastrous.

Any advice?

Kim 


September Pixie  16 Apr 2004 
I think perhaps asking her to re-phrase her question would be the best way to go about it... explain that you can't answer questions in that kind of form but maybe say that you can explain where this relationship is headed or what is going on in it .. most people will usually accept that kind of reading in place of the other. :) 


ncefafn  16 Apr 2004 
The problem is that there is no relationship. The second part of her question is "how and when will we meet?" She's never met this guy, and she wants to know if she will marry him. I figure he's probably a movie or TV star, or maybe a famous athlete.

Kim 


September Pixie  16 Apr 2004 
I think I would just tell her that you cannot give that kind of reading and explain that it just doesn't work that way.. but that you are willing to give her a reading for another question.. or perhaps just offer a basic 'relationship/love' reading.. 


Nevada  16 Apr 2004 
Quote:
Originally posted by ncefafn
The problem is that there is no relationship. The second part of her question is "how and when will we meet?" She's never met this guy, and she wants to know if she will marry him. I figure he's probably a movie or TV star, or maybe a famous athlete.
Well, I understand that you don't want to encourage pure silliness on her part, but I would go ahead and do the reading, perhaps with a rephrase of the question from her so it's not strictly a yes/no and time-specific. You could suggest that she ask what she can do to best facilitate this relationship in her future, provided it's for the good of all concerned.

Hey, it could happen, farfetched as it seems. I knew someone who, as a teenager, saw a man in a sports poster and said, "That's who I'm going to marry." Then she set about finding an opportunity to meet him, and a few years later married him! This is a true story. I spoke to her the night before she flew off to another state to get married. They later had two or three children.

The same thing happened to a friend's brother-in-law, who spotted a woman working in a business place, and decided on the spot that he wanted to marry her. She was married to someone else at the time, but later divorced. They met again after her divorce and eventually married.

Truth really is sometimes stranger than fiction. ;)

Nevada

P.S. One of my favorite questions to ask people is how they met their SOs. You hear the most bizarre tales. I collect stories like this. 


September Pixie  16 Apr 2004 
Funny to mention that Nevada.. I have a similur story how I met my fiance... :) Though we met online, the first time I saw his photograph I told all of my friends "He will be mine someday".. we are getting married this September.. :) The truth IS sometimes stranger than fiction 


ncefafn  16 Apr 2004 
Well, Nevada & Pixie, ya never know! You're right. I'll go ahead and do a "what can I do to facilitate this relationship" reading. Thanks, guys!

Kim 


ncefafn  17 Apr 2004 
I know I'm replying to myself, but I lay awake at 3:00 this morning, turning this over in my mind. I just get a bad vibe from it. What if she is or, on the strength of my reading, becomes a stalker? I don't know. I'm still waiting to hear back from my mentor on this one, but my gut tells me to say no.

Kim 


September Pixie  17 Apr 2004 
If your gut tells you to say no.. then say no. You can NEVER do the wrong thing by listening to your intuition. 9 times out of 10 you end up kicking yourself by not listening. :) Do what you FEEL is right.. you won't go wrong :) 


Nevada  17 Apr 2004 
Quote:
Originally posted by September Pixie
If your gut tells you to say no.. then say no. You can NEVER do the wrong thing by listening to your intuition. 9 times out of 10 you end up kicking yourself by not listening. :) Do what you FEEL is right.. you won't go wrong :)
Absolutely. :)

Nevada 


HudsonGray  17 Apr 2004 
Meeting someone you KNOW is going to be yours doesn't always happen. I have a mailman friend who is firmly convinced if Olivia Newton John ever met him she'd fall madly in love & they'd get married (he's short, 150 pounds overweight, bald & few social skills unfortunately) so I think it's a pretty long shot in his case.

Ditto for a pen pal of mine, she's fallen for three tv actors so far (male) and wants to get married to one of them but doesn't even send a fan letter.... Hope springs eternal sometimes. But wishes need to be acted on, they don't magically get fixed to give you the good life. 


Kittaine  17 Apr 2004 
Hey, that's a question I ask myself ALL the time! :D I never take the answers seriously, though. Because I already know that I'll basically have to move Heaven and Earth just to even meet the guy!

Hm, I think the first thing you should do, is do a reading on this question: What're the obstacles that this woman has to overcome before she can meet this guy? 


September Pixie  17 Apr 2004 
well.. i dont call that realistic lol.. I have been IN LOVE with Sergey Fedorov (hockey player) for YEARS.. but that doesn't mean if he ever met me he would look at me twice.. :) I think you have to be a little realistic. 


Nevada  18 Apr 2004 
In spite of my story above, I do believe it's unrealistic to set one's sites on a celebrity in most cases, and even unhealthy, especially if one goes to the length of stalking them! Unfortunately in today's world that's a very real possibility.

We all have our little crushes at one time or another though and that's perfectly human. After all a lot of these "stars" are placed by the media right in our face, so to speak, so it's not surprising that it happens.

Most important of all, ncefafn, is your ability to live with your decision, whatever it is. That's paramount. Don't read if it doesn't feel right to you. That's your right as a reader.

Nevada 


Kittaine  19 Apr 2004 
Hey, she asks an unrealistic question, so give her an unrealistic answer!

"What're the obstacles she has to overcome before she can meet this guy?"

The reading should yield things like, "She has to acquire an impossible amount of money before she reaches 40. Then, she has to use the money for liposuction, a face lift, dental repair, jaw repositioning, breast augmentation, etc., etc." 


September Pixie  19 Apr 2004 
Yeah but thats not exactly good karma :) Perhaps its better to just not read.. especially if there is a sinking feeling in your gut.. thats a dead give away on a BAD time a'comin'.. :) 


ncefafn  19 Apr 2004 
I chatted about this with another reader friend of mine and she came up with a great question: "What does Annie Wilkes need to know about her feelings for X?" I thought that was a question I could deal with, so I sat down, shuffled, dealt, and was in the middle of writing out the reading (sounds weird!), when I again got this overwhelming feeling inside me screaming: WRONG WRONG WRONG! So I put away the cards and politely advised the querent that I couldn't read for her.

Kim 


Simone  19 Apr 2004 
Quote:
Originally posted by ncefafn
...when I again got this overwhelming feeling inside me screaming: WRONG WRONG WRONG! So I put away the cards and politely advised the querent that I couldn't read for her.


Well done. When I read your first post, I immediately got the image of a "stalker" in my head, and sure enough, you have thought about it also along the way.

I think it was the best decision you could make, and even if she'll go around telling other people you're no good, there are certainly a lot of people left to make good advertisement on your behalf. Staying honest is always a good choice, and you have all my respect for it!

Love
Simone 


Nevada  19 Apr 2004 
Based on your intuitions about it, I agree that you made the best decision. :)

Nevada 


_N_  19 Apr 2004 
I also agree with the others that it was the best decision. Do let us know if she has anything further to say to you though ;)




hedgecub  19 Apr 2004 
I think you definitely did the right thing. Always listen to your intuition, especially when it's screaming at you like that ;) 


The Need insight on question thread was originally posted on 16 Apr 2004 in the Talking Tarot board, and is now archived in the Forum Library. Read the threads in Talking Tarot, or read more archived threads.

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