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La'al quiet fella  La'al quiet fella is offline
Join Date: 03 Nov 2015
Location: UK
Posts: 60
La'al quiet fella 

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First try

I was full of trepidation at trying this, especially after the other posts by more experienced members, and I was also worried that because I tend to focus more on the meditative aspects of the cards, that I would think more than experience.

To overcome that I meditated for 5 minutes looking at the universe card (same one jack of wands linked in from the Thoth deck). Over the past few days I had also read up on correspondences, fallen asleep picturing the card and tried to lucid dream in the mornings, not with much success.

I also really struggle with the GD temples, so even though I had the idea of travelling from Malkuth to Yesod in my mind, I sort of began by creating what I think of a Malkuth consciousness that I got from meditating on the 4 10's and the 4 princesses. I used this as a baseline for then closing my eyes and seeing what happened.

Today I looked at the card, tried not to think, and then closed my eyes. For what it is worth this is what I saw....

Egypt, pyramids and the sphinx......then suddenly inside a pyramid with torches lighting a tunnel and skirted people wandering along in a procession. there was a funerary atmosphere, but more of reverence for death than mourning....

Then the sphinx, but in its glory, not as it is now.....& then a living sphinx and the living sphinx was like a host for me....I became the living sphinx....

then night & I climbed a awe at it's height and it's was cold, isolated.....stars.....the snake from the card came down from the stars......endless & miles long.....incomprehensibly huge.....& despite such latent power & strength it gently lowered it's head for me to stand upon.....

It felt safe & sturdy even though it hurled me upwards as it withdrew & the stars spun.....

then I kind of became aware of the snake against my body.....& it wasn't giant slid over my felt like very gentle moved to my with an intimacy.....& it felt exciting, almost sexual....& like we moved together in response to each other.....

& it felt like I could tip myself backwards with my foot balancing on the snake's head & never fall.....just vertigo but safe & was a happy feeling....

but then, even though I had my foot on the snake's head in one's movements wrapped around my body & I followed it's tail....watching it, looking down as it made its way across my abdomen & then down my legs to my feet.....

As it reached my feet it was gone....& I could not make the experience continue.

there was a lot more I wanted to see, but it just stopped. It left me wanting to see the stars tonight in the sky.

It was not lucid dreaming, nor a trance state, but kind of a free flowing set of images. I had to try hard not to try and direct it at first but then it became easier to let things happen.

as a first step it really made me realise how far I have to go to be able to properly pathwork through the subconscious and I really hope this group helps us all learn to do it better.

anyway, that was my first go, not as difficult as I thought, although I don't think I got far, & it was an enjoyable experience too. the card keeps making me smile if I look at it now too.

it felt very rookie like, like I had no idea what I was really doing, and I kind of feel foolish on the one hand for even trying this and then on the other, it makes me want to develop to be able to use my subconscious with skill.

I have tried to explain how I did things, so people can reject or try as they please. barleywine has also offered to share his approaches to visualisation which obviously will be of much more benefit.
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