Back to the begining...

beginagain

It's been over a year since I last read other than a couple of tarot night reads for the local pagan group. I've not read for myself since January 2015. My job ate my life and clinical depression ate my mind, and my abstract thinking took one hell of a beating. I'm no longer working at my old job, and my drug dealer has added another medication to my regime, and I'm finally reconnecting.

The reconnecting isn't going well. I can't go back to the beginning because my memory from then is still intact. But between there and here my knowledge is patchy and random, and I am remembering more complex interpretations but the underlying basics are very foggy.

Can anyone help me? Is there a spread that I can start on, or should I ask for a personal reading for myself and use that as a starting point? I'm also reading through my old journals, so that is helping some.

I'd really appreciate hearing everyone's thoughts and suggestions.
 

Nemia

I had a tarot break of c. ten years and had the feeling I have to start from scratch. And that's what I did. After a while, knowledge from before the break started to return, but in an unpredictable manner.

There's no pressure. I feel that being active here has helped me a lot, as well as reading for a website where I really learn to connect the cards and see myself as a reader (which I still find difficult).
 

Barleywine

I took a lengthy break as well due to career and helping to raise a family. I never stopped my related reading (books, that is) but I didn't do much regular card reading for quite some time. Finding this forum and becoming active really jump-started my interest again. I also recently joined a couple of regional tarot groups that hold monthly meetings.
 

violetdaisy

Tarot & Spiritual Lapse

There were a couple of years that I did no readings at all, or read any books on them, or had any interest at all in anything really. It was after an episode of depression and my diagnosis ended me up on a medication that killed my creativity and any belief in anything except what I was doing right then. So I feel you I think. Other things were affected by that med as well...but that's outside of this lol.

Anyhow, I found after "getting back into" things that the way I regarded the cards and the way I approached spirituality had changed. I've read my journals from before and after. I am still medicated - but on Medication that still allows me to feel and be somewhat creative. It was really hard initially to reconnect. I want through my decks, gave the ones away that really had no place in my life. I'm pretty sure that at that time I was left with 3 decks after all was said and done.

So even what I "knew" before - even the patchy detailed stuff - didn't usually apply. I wouldn't discard what you do know but I would assess if it's still relevant to you :)

And I would start reading resources about tarot, and the card meanings. There are a couple sites that go into fair detail about the cards - Two that I liked (and still do) are learntarot.com and tarotteachings.com - the second appears to have had an update since I last visited. Even if you don't agree with meanings or anything else there it may trigger something you do believe :cool2:
 

nisaba

Although I had to laugh at your "drug dealer", I feel for you.

I took a holiday from Tarot once, due mostly to the relationship I was in at the time becoming very abusive and it took a few years to escape it.

So when I went back to it, I wasn't just going back to Tarot, I was affirming that I was no longer in danger, and my cards felt like blessings in my hands, their images felt like blessings in my eyes.

I recommend that if you can, perhaps you could see your renewed use of Tarot as an affirmation that your clinical depression is at bay, and rejoice in the fact that you *can* use it again. That will make it much easier for you to get back into. :)
 

CrystalSeas

Read Intuitively

I don't know what your previous reading style was, and I don't know what method you used to 'learn' the meanings of the cards.

I suspect that all that knowledge is not lost, but simply filed in a way that it's not as easily accessible.

Have you ever tried to think of a word and not be able to remember it? But you could describe what it meant, and use a whole lot of other words to convey that concept. You hadn't lost the knowledge, just the label.

You may find that all of your tarot knowledge is still there, but there are a lot of missing labels. Fortunately, in tarot, using a bunch of words to describe an intuitive concept is not seen as a bad thing.

If you practice using more intuitive card reading methods, that knowledge may show up, just not with the same words as before. If intuition is based on data you know unconsciously, then you're in a good position to start reading more intuitively, drawing on that previous knowledge, but unconsciously instead of consciously.
 

Barleywine

If you practice using more intuitive card reading methods, that knowledge may show up, just not with the same words as before. If intuition is based on data you know unconsciously, then you're in a good position to start reading more intuitively, drawing on that previous knowledge, but unconsciously instead of consciously.

This rings true for me. Quite often, when looking at a card image in combination with adjacent cards, I'll mentally "hear" a string of words or phrases (usually in metaphor form) that seem to be unique in my experience (call it a fresh association) but are obviously still based on my internalized knowledge and past experience. It's like the act of "seeing" engages the subconscious memory in an automatic way. I call it stoking the three "I's" - "Imagination, Inspiration, and Ingenuity," hopefully leading to "Insight." It's what I consider a big part of the story-teller's art.