For Starling
Life's milestones, like holidays, bring change and stress. We all understand that but dealing with it is something else. In the Waite-Smith card everyone has different roles, stances, and/or reactions to what has happened. The figures can relate to different people in a situation AND ALSO to different issues faced by one person.
At my age, I'm 71, and having found myself in "sudden" retirement after the 2001 software industry crash, I recognize that there are a complexity of situations to put in order within one's mind.
Foremost is the issue that many men identify their work and themselves as being the same thing. If so, there may be some actions that could help. If his work was with a large company, they probably have a retiree's club of some sort. Some large organizations bring back retired workers as consultants or to help at vacation time -- is there a "sign up" process that could be investigated?
I worked as a consultant for five years after leaving a Marketing position at the last software company I worked for. There are a number of consulting or helping organizations that retired people could help on a paid basis. The Small Business Association provides experienced workers to help small businesses all the time. Often times one can find very small businesses that are willing to hire people part time with very specific skills. A friend of mine works three days a week for a garden shop specializing in Bonzai trees.
Local government offers opportunities, also. I work for our town each year helping with my various skills, working in one or another department under programs that "repay" you by reducing your tax bill -- great for retired home owners. I also teach Chess and Robotics for 4--8 grade students -- and I get paid $28 hour for doing so.
We just sold our summer beach cottage and have purchased another summer home. At the last place, several men in our village did seasonal opening-up and closing-down work for other cottages, plus repair and maintenace (such as lawn mowing, watering) during the summer season.
Of course, there are all the usual Walmart and donut shop stuff, but that isn't so interesting, is it?
Another issue that bothers some men is "Why?" Why were they let go, or why do they have to retire? It becomes very personal, of course, and it does no good to look at the big picture. I've seen people start a scrapbook project wherein they collect and display business cards that they have had (about 30 for me), pictures of the places they have worked, areas they visited, equipment and people they worked with, and products they have produced. This clarifies one's progress and/or accomplishments in life and often points to the fact that a different phase of life is now at hand.
Is it possible to "adopt" another locality as a place you can vacation at, visit one weekend a month, or even rent a place for several days at a time? Having another place to go to often equates to gaining some perspective on life.
For me, hobbies and avocations were a big thing after stopping work. The tarot and astrology are what I'm known for here on AT but I also play chess, wood carve, build sheds and additions, paint, serve as an Assistant Boy Scout Master, and read a lot. I'm also writing a book.
Finally, I'd try to work the friend angle. Not your own friend's husbands, not couples you both know, but someone he knew at work or went to baseball games or fishing with. Something has to pull his attention out of his own head. Especially someone who might have also retired and found the outlets and alternative paths that are needed. Following a proven path is an easy way to start off.
Just my thoughts. I hope something clicks. Dave