AquarianGoddess
Hi Gang,
This is a piece I wrote a few years ago and all but the Capricorn title are based on real American soap opera titles with an astrological twist.
Enjoy,
AG
THE BOLD AND THE BRASH (Aries) – If you’re into action, hot tempers and fleeting romances, this is the soap for you. It’s packed with car chases (red cars of course), crashes, brawls and sizzling hot romances that don’t last very long…(they need a heavy dose of Valium, don't they?)
ALL MY PASTRIES (Taurus) – We do not recommend watching this soap if you’re on a diet. The Taurus natives are shown being jubilant by insatiably indulging in all of the goodies. It’s totally disgusting. At the end is the number for Sweets-A-Holics…
1-800-DONUTS.
THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS MINDS (Gemini) – This soap revolves around the people of the town of Hermes, USA. They’re all Gemini’s and …you guessed it…the number of prescriptions for Prozac in this town exceeds the totality of Prozac prescriptions written for every other location in the world. Unfortunately, the medication is of no help (you may want to avoid this town in your travels…it’s too loony.)
DAYS OF OUR CHILDREN’S LIVES (Cancer) – You’ll need a big box of tissues when viewing this soap. This very somber story tells the tale of the Cancer children’s trials and tribulations, while the Cancer natives are seen in the background crying in their own home made soup (how pathetic.)
SUNSET TOPLESS BEACH (Leo) – Another appalling depiction of the conceited Leo’s doing what they do best…. SHOWING OFF…(don’t they make you sick?)
ONE LIFE TO LIVE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT (Virgo) – Here we have the whining Virgo’s’ in all of their splendid glory complaining about EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING, every minute of the day (will somebody please get them off of this planet.)
AS THE RELATIONSHIP TURNS (Libra) – Well, well, well, this romantic soap is actually quite sickening after the first few episodes. It’s the same old been there done that sort of thing that Libra’s’ live for...the ups and downs of their relationships (and who the heck cares?)
DARK SHADOWS/DEEP PSYCHOSIS (Scorpio) – This rather interesting soap is all about the very rich successful Scorpions who appear to have it all together. BUT WAIT! This is a Scorpio soap and these folks are very sneaky with deep dark secret pasts and lots of mental problems. When the Pluto transit hits, everything is uncovered and these sneaks are exposed for who they really are…(it’s a real shame, isn’t it?)
THE GUIDING LIGHT OF PHILOSOPHERS (Sagittarius) – A typical Sagg soap …the Saggies are zigzagging around trying to inflict their philosophy of life on anyone who will listen…(just tell them to go away…far away, like to Jupiter.)
SHOW ME THE MONEY (Capricorn) – The entire greedy, cheap Capricorn Brigade is convened in the town of Saturnville to create all sorts of schemes to make money (not the old fashioned way). The real absorbing part is that they don’t trust each other so there’s lots of backstabbing going on. Each is vying to be the richest on the planet and will do anything it takes, including selling their families, to attain that status (aren’t they the greatest?)
GENERAL PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL (Aquarius) – Starring all the bizarre Aquarians who need a break from a boring society. The problem arises when these kooks are released…the entire globe is at risk…(hurry, run for cover!)
ANOTHER WORLD TO ESCAPE (Pisces) – Oh yes, Pisces’ at their finest moment …attempting to escape yet another world (when will they learn?)
This is a piece I wrote a few years ago and all but the Capricorn title are based on real American soap opera titles with an astrological twist.
Enjoy,
AG
THE BOLD AND THE BRASH (Aries) – If you’re into action, hot tempers and fleeting romances, this is the soap for you. It’s packed with car chases (red cars of course), crashes, brawls and sizzling hot romances that don’t last very long…(they need a heavy dose of Valium, don't they?)
ALL MY PASTRIES (Taurus) – We do not recommend watching this soap if you’re on a diet. The Taurus natives are shown being jubilant by insatiably indulging in all of the goodies. It’s totally disgusting. At the end is the number for Sweets-A-Holics…
1-800-DONUTS.
THE YOUNG & THE RESTLESS MINDS (Gemini) – This soap revolves around the people of the town of Hermes, USA. They’re all Gemini’s and …you guessed it…the number of prescriptions for Prozac in this town exceeds the totality of Prozac prescriptions written for every other location in the world. Unfortunately, the medication is of no help (you may want to avoid this town in your travels…it’s too loony.)
DAYS OF OUR CHILDREN’S LIVES (Cancer) – You’ll need a big box of tissues when viewing this soap. This very somber story tells the tale of the Cancer children’s trials and tribulations, while the Cancer natives are seen in the background crying in their own home made soup (how pathetic.)
SUNSET TOPLESS BEACH (Leo) – Another appalling depiction of the conceited Leo’s doing what they do best…. SHOWING OFF…(don’t they make you sick?)
ONE LIFE TO LIVE AND COMPLAIN ABOUT (Virgo) – Here we have the whining Virgo’s’ in all of their splendid glory complaining about EVERYTHING AND ANYTHING, every minute of the day (will somebody please get them off of this planet.)
AS THE RELATIONSHIP TURNS (Libra) – Well, well, well, this romantic soap is actually quite sickening after the first few episodes. It’s the same old been there done that sort of thing that Libra’s’ live for...the ups and downs of their relationships (and who the heck cares?)
DARK SHADOWS/DEEP PSYCHOSIS (Scorpio) – This rather interesting soap is all about the very rich successful Scorpions who appear to have it all together. BUT WAIT! This is a Scorpio soap and these folks are very sneaky with deep dark secret pasts and lots of mental problems. When the Pluto transit hits, everything is uncovered and these sneaks are exposed for who they really are…(it’s a real shame, isn’t it?)
THE GUIDING LIGHT OF PHILOSOPHERS (Sagittarius) – A typical Sagg soap …the Saggies are zigzagging around trying to inflict their philosophy of life on anyone who will listen…(just tell them to go away…far away, like to Jupiter.)
SHOW ME THE MONEY (Capricorn) – The entire greedy, cheap Capricorn Brigade is convened in the town of Saturnville to create all sorts of schemes to make money (not the old fashioned way). The real absorbing part is that they don’t trust each other so there’s lots of backstabbing going on. Each is vying to be the richest on the planet and will do anything it takes, including selling their families, to attain that status (aren’t they the greatest?)
GENERAL PSYCHIATRIC HOSPITAL (Aquarius) – Starring all the bizarre Aquarians who need a break from a boring society. The problem arises when these kooks are released…the entire globe is at risk…(hurry, run for cover!)
ANOTHER WORLD TO ESCAPE (Pisces) – Oh yes, Pisces’ at their finest moment …attempting to escape yet another world (when will they learn?)