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Join Date: 28 Sep 2006
Location: Wales
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21 ways to read a tarot card - step 9


Again, ive found this step to be quite hard and abit emtional, i think ive touched abit of a nerve within myself.

Step 9 ~ Questions, Answers & Snapshots

Step 9.1a Ask at least 3 open-ended questions and answer.
I have taken this from step 3 ~ emotions

Question ~ When do I feel powerless?
Snapshot ~ My brother sitting me down to tell me his cancer treatment hadnít worked and he had been told he had 4-6 months to live. He apologised for not being able to get better and told me he was sorry.
Answer ~ I donít like not being in control of my feelings, over the years I have built up a brick wall around myself for protection and when I think I am going to be hurt I close the drawbridge and retreat behind my wall.

Question ~ What is the reason for hiding my feelings?
Snapshot ~ Being 13/14 and 2 girls I though were friends turning against me and trying to get others to turn against me.
Answer ~ Not wanting to worry my mum, so each day I would go home from school pretending everything was ok and when she asked why I didnít want to go and spend time with friends, I used to say I had to much work to do, so from this age I created an illusion for my mum and built up an emotional defence.

Question ~ What would happen if I let my emotions show?
Snapshot ~ Being hurt by my first boyfriend and vowing never to cry over a man again.
Answer ~ I would feel vulnerable and I donít like that feeling, Iíve built up a persona to hide behind to a certain extent and although the people closest to me know me for myself, strangers tend to find me stand offish.

Step 9.1 b What do I have to look at in my life right now?

Probably, why I feel the need to hide behind something, whether it be sarcasm or any other barrier, what do I think will happen if I open up?
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