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Join Date: 02 Sep 2006
Location: Colorado - USA
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21 Ways - Step Four


Golden Tarot - 6 of Cups

4-1: Once upon a time, there was a beautiful city, filled with love, laughter, sunshine and happiness. Everyone worked together to provide for the needs of others and thereby....no one was left without. One day, a young boy decided to take his younger brother out for a walk. As they traveled down the road, they came across a beautiful field of flowers and grass and decided to take a rest under a tree. As the older boy read a story to the younger one, the younger one ventured off looking for something exciting. He came across insects, came across greenary, came across fruit, and came across animals. But what intrigued him the most were the birds. Ahh...to have feathers, wings, the ability to soar! As this small child chases the birds, he dreams of freedom, of flight, of carefree fun, and yet, subconciously continues to listen intently to the story his older brother is reading to him. "How fun to be the hero of that story," he thinks to himself! As it draws to a close, he snatches the bird, runs toward his brother and hands him a golden cup of flowers...."Thank you for the story, Brother!"

4-2: Ah yes, life is good! How many children my age have an older sibling that care about them as much as mine does?? My big brother, he's the greatest. He shares his toys with me; he shares his food with me; he shares his time with me. I love him so. How can I tell him how I feel? How can I express my feelings when I don't know the words yet? He took me for a walk today. My legs got tired from walking so long and when I told him I wanted to rest, he agreed. My big brother is funny.....he wanted to sit.....sit and read a book. "A book?" I thought. "Are you serious? Books are no fun! Look at that bird up there! Don'cha wish you could fly like that, Brother?! I want wings too! Look at me, Brother, I'm gonna catch him!" *laugh, laugh...giggle, giggle* "YAY!! I caught him! LOOK, Brother, I got him, I got him!!! Brother?? ..... BROTHER??? Did you see me?? BROTHER???....are you listening?????

4-3: When does one "realize" the difference between childhood and adulthood?? The book asks me to share a story in my life that represents these emotions. Does it count if I say that I can't pinpoint only one moment, but that the majority of my life has been a replica? I'm 39 years old and STILL struggling for that genuine acknowledgement I had dreamed of as a child, but didn't realize was a dream at the time. I have two siblings. Oddly enough...both of them are younger than I am. At one point in my life, I can remember being the only child...the one that was loved and cared for. But when my siblings were born (one each by opposite parents) I suddenly became the older one. (and "the older one" doesn't come close to expressing my feelings, but seems to be the best, most simple way of describing it at present.) Anyway....I still struggle with the position of each of my siblings. They are treated in a way that I "was" and still wish to be. But because I am the oldest, I seem to be the one that suffers the consequences in more ways than one. I feel most intently that I've been "jipped" out of my place in life, and even while I've come to terms with it in my adulthood....it's amazing how these very little things can creep back up on us when we least expect them too. "Brother, won't you please notice me?? I'm trying so hard to show you how much you mean to me and how much I want you to like me."
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Damn...that was a hard one! As I proofread it, I found myself getting teary-eyed.....yikes

I hope the rest of the lessons lighten up a little bit!

LP~
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