Mael23
< Long post coming, bear with me... and thanks for reading!! >
I agree with many of the above posters and those who have contributed in other threads... I have recently bought this deck after working mainly with the Robin-Wood tarot... I still have carry-over associations with Rider-Waite traditional meanings... so as I'm working with this deck, I'm finding that these associations are settling into the new modern imaging of these cards. So I'm glad this forum is here to help me get your input on the cards and will allow me to sound out my approach too.
As this card is related to the Devil (which to me symbolises "blindness") I interpret the image of the man looking at the "ideal family" as being blind to all the different permutations and combinations of what family, acceptance and love are. He is not seeing himself reflected or represented in what is held out as the "ideal" and as a result rejects himself - hence the self-hatred.
So this card represents the internalised homophobia which limits and chains us yet for which we are ultimately responsible for. So going back to the Rider-Waite image of the man and woman chained, yet able to slip out of the bonds, is kind of what we do with our internalised homophobia. We are chained, only to the extent we allow ourselves to be.
Okay... let me elaborate... yes, homophobia exists and is a reality we deal with as gay men... but it doesn't always exist to the extent that we believe it to. I once had a boyfriend who was comfortqble with public displays of affection, but I wasn't as much. Or rather, would only feel at ease to kiss him when I was in the gay village (Montreal). One day he kissed me in the subway station in the west end of the city. Inwardly I cringed and awaited the bashing that I had always thought would come... it didn't. In fact, those who even noticed just kept on walking... I realized then that much of what I used to limit myself were my own fears that had been overly amplified.
So, I allowed myself to slip off some of the bonds of the internalised homophobia I had been carrying... this isn't to say that I'd be suicidal and have a kiss-in in some hostile place... again, the chains of homophobia do exist for real.. it's just that they are not always so tight as we think they are.
So hence my resolution for the Self-hatred card.. yes we can be blind, but with risk and trust, we can see other possibilities for ourselves and not be restrained.
phew.. thanks for letting me ramble!
I agree with many of the above posters and those who have contributed in other threads... I have recently bought this deck after working mainly with the Robin-Wood tarot... I still have carry-over associations with Rider-Waite traditional meanings... so as I'm working with this deck, I'm finding that these associations are settling into the new modern imaging of these cards. So I'm glad this forum is here to help me get your input on the cards and will allow me to sound out my approach too.
As this card is related to the Devil (which to me symbolises "blindness") I interpret the image of the man looking at the "ideal family" as being blind to all the different permutations and combinations of what family, acceptance and love are. He is not seeing himself reflected or represented in what is held out as the "ideal" and as a result rejects himself - hence the self-hatred.
So this card represents the internalised homophobia which limits and chains us yet for which we are ultimately responsible for. So going back to the Rider-Waite image of the man and woman chained, yet able to slip out of the bonds, is kind of what we do with our internalised homophobia. We are chained, only to the extent we allow ourselves to be.
Okay... let me elaborate... yes, homophobia exists and is a reality we deal with as gay men... but it doesn't always exist to the extent that we believe it to. I once had a boyfriend who was comfortqble with public displays of affection, but I wasn't as much. Or rather, would only feel at ease to kiss him when I was in the gay village (Montreal). One day he kissed me in the subway station in the west end of the city. Inwardly I cringed and awaited the bashing that I had always thought would come... it didn't. In fact, those who even noticed just kept on walking... I realized then that much of what I used to limit myself were my own fears that had been overly amplified.
So, I allowed myself to slip off some of the bonds of the internalised homophobia I had been carrying... this isn't to say that I'd be suicidal and have a kiss-in in some hostile place... again, the chains of homophobia do exist for real.. it's just that they are not always so tight as we think they are.
So hence my resolution for the Self-hatred card.. yes we can be blind, but with risk and trust, we can see other possibilities for ourselves and not be restrained.
phew.. thanks for letting me ramble!