sweet_intuition
(Picture this)
It's a Saturday night, the denizens of your neighborhood/college dorm/suburb complex/etc are all out to unload the burdens of the week with a night dedicated to mild flirtatious with a hint of debauchery. Everyone seems to have dates, parties, or underground raves to be at. Dressed to the nines all fabulous and fine.
All except you. You're the one sitting at home in your robe and fluffy slippers, with curlers in your hair and re-runs of Sex and the City on TBS, binging on a tub of Ben and Jerry's and picturing yourself as Carrie Bradshaw. Only to realize that with her body, she probably has never eaten a meal beyond a 100 calories in her life. So you toss the Ben and Jerry's aside and sit and mope and wonder, "Why is my life so dull?"
At that very moment, the lights go out. You panic. It was your favorite episode, the one where Carrie tumbles down on the Runway and becomes "Fashion Road-Kill". You desperately try to find the fusebox, but it's oh so dark that it's absolutely pointless. No candles in the house either, as you wasted them all trying to feel luxurious in a Barbra Streisand-esque bath. And your flashlight wouldn't work either, as you've used up all the batteries on your trusty.. vibrat-er-female friend in the top drawer of your nightstand.
Just as you're about to give up hope, a pinkish light begins to descend from your ceiling... slowly, transforming itself into a gigantic pink shimmering bubble. The entire room is filled with subtle pink hues as the bubble slowly descends onto the floor, becoming more and more transparent, allowing you to see a beautiful (well, in the typical all american "blonde" manner) barely 5 foot tall woman dressed in a pink frilly outfit, carrying a very dodgy looking wand. As the bubble snaps she giggles..
"It's good to see me isn't it?"
Before you can open your mouth she replies.. "No need to respond. That was rhetorical".
She then pushes you onto your chair, waves her wand in the air, and there appears a magical table, covered by an expensive silk cloth with elaborate and intricate embroidery (in pink of course... although rumor has it that Black is this year's pink, or is it the other way around?). She then proceeds to speak in a rather helium-esque voice.
"You know Elphie... wait, is it alright if I call you Elphie?"
You arch a brow, "No .. my name is..."
She flippantly goes, "Oh I'm sorry, just with the green face mask and all the drab outfit, you reminded me of a green girl from munchkinland who got on a broomstick and taunted farm girls from Kansas".
Your face contorts into an expression which reads, "What the F@#$??"
And so she continues, "Well, you can call me... Ga-Linda"
You go, "Um, Okay"
She carries on in that oh so Helium tone... "Well you see Elphie (she's too big a ditz to remember your name), now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project"
You hesitate, "You really don't have to do that"
She smiles so sweetly that you could get diabetes, "I know, that's what makes me so nice"
And she sings...
Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be
Card 1:
Just then a Tarot pack appears upon the table.. she continues, she pulls out the first card that represents your potential for improvement and sings,
Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
Card 2:
Then she pulls out another card to represent what you need to do to improve communication with the opposite sex...
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
Card 3:
Then she pulls out another card to represent you how you can improve your appearance and fashion sense..
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
Card 4:
She then pulls out a card representing how you can improve your social circle through activities and pursuits...
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
Card 5:
And then she pulls out a card to represent the first step to take towards being "Popular"...
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
_____________________________________
The Spread looks as follows, kinda resembling a "tick" mark, or a sign of approval, from the most Popular girl ever!....
............................5
.......................4....
........1..........3.......
.............2.............
Card 1: Your Potential for self-improvement (to be Popular)
Card 2: How you can improve the way you communicate with the opposite sex (or whomsoever you're attracted towards)
Card 3: How you can bring about improvements in the way you appear
Card 4: How you can work on your social skills, activities/clubs to join, places to go out more, etc etc.
Card 5: The first step you need to take towards "pop-yoohoo-larity"
Spread inspired from the song "Popular" from the musical Wicked
Here's a clip of the song for all to see and enjoy:
Popular
It's a Saturday night, the denizens of your neighborhood/college dorm/suburb complex/etc are all out to unload the burdens of the week with a night dedicated to mild flirtatious with a hint of debauchery. Everyone seems to have dates, parties, or underground raves to be at. Dressed to the nines all fabulous and fine.
All except you. You're the one sitting at home in your robe and fluffy slippers, with curlers in your hair and re-runs of Sex and the City on TBS, binging on a tub of Ben and Jerry's and picturing yourself as Carrie Bradshaw. Only to realize that with her body, she probably has never eaten a meal beyond a 100 calories in her life. So you toss the Ben and Jerry's aside and sit and mope and wonder, "Why is my life so dull?"
At that very moment, the lights go out. You panic. It was your favorite episode, the one where Carrie tumbles down on the Runway and becomes "Fashion Road-Kill". You desperately try to find the fusebox, but it's oh so dark that it's absolutely pointless. No candles in the house either, as you wasted them all trying to feel luxurious in a Barbra Streisand-esque bath. And your flashlight wouldn't work either, as you've used up all the batteries on your trusty.. vibrat-er-female friend in the top drawer of your nightstand.
Just as you're about to give up hope, a pinkish light begins to descend from your ceiling... slowly, transforming itself into a gigantic pink shimmering bubble. The entire room is filled with subtle pink hues as the bubble slowly descends onto the floor, becoming more and more transparent, allowing you to see a beautiful (well, in the typical all american "blonde" manner) barely 5 foot tall woman dressed in a pink frilly outfit, carrying a very dodgy looking wand. As the bubble snaps she giggles..
"It's good to see me isn't it?"
Before you can open your mouth she replies.. "No need to respond. That was rhetorical".
She then pushes you onto your chair, waves her wand in the air, and there appears a magical table, covered by an expensive silk cloth with elaborate and intricate embroidery (in pink of course... although rumor has it that Black is this year's pink, or is it the other way around?). She then proceeds to speak in a rather helium-esque voice.
"You know Elphie... wait, is it alright if I call you Elphie?"
You arch a brow, "No .. my name is..."
She flippantly goes, "Oh I'm sorry, just with the green face mask and all the drab outfit, you reminded me of a green girl from munchkinland who got on a broomstick and taunted farm girls from Kansas".
Your face contorts into an expression which reads, "What the F@#$??"
And so she continues, "Well, you can call me... Ga-Linda"
You go, "Um, Okay"
She carries on in that oh so Helium tone... "Well you see Elphie (she's too big a ditz to remember your name), now that we're friends, I've decided to make you my new project"
You hesitate, "You really don't have to do that"
She smiles so sweetly that you could get diabetes, "I know, that's what makes me so nice"
And she sings...
Whenever I see someone
Less fortunate than I
(And let's face it - who isn't
Less fortunate than I?)
My tender heart
Tends to start to bleed
And when someone needs a makeover
I simply have to take over
I know I know exactly what they need
And even in your case
Tho' it's the toughest case I've yet to face
Don't worry - I'm determined to succeed
Follow my lead
And yes, indeed
You will be
Card 1:
Just then a Tarot pack appears upon the table.. she continues, she pulls out the first card that represents your potential for improvement and sings,
Popular!
You're gonna be popular!
Card 2:
Then she pulls out another card to represent what you need to do to improve communication with the opposite sex...
I'll teach you the proper ploys
When you talk to boys
Little ways to flirt and flounce
Card 3:
Then she pulls out another card to represent you how you can improve your appearance and fashion sense..
I'll show you what shoes to wear
How to fix your hair
Everything that really counts
To be popular
I'll help you be popular!
Card 4:
She then pulls out a card representing how you can improve your social circle through activities and pursuits...
You'll hang with the right cohorts
You'll be good at sports
Know the slang you've got to know
Card 5:
And then she pulls out a card to represent the first step to take towards being "Popular"...
So let's start
'Cause you've got an awfully long way to go:
_____________________________________
The Spread looks as follows, kinda resembling a "tick" mark, or a sign of approval, from the most Popular girl ever!....
............................5
.......................4....
........1..........3.......
.............2.............
Card 1: Your Potential for self-improvement (to be Popular)
Card 2: How you can improve the way you communicate with the opposite sex (or whomsoever you're attracted towards)
Card 3: How you can bring about improvements in the way you appear
Card 4: How you can work on your social skills, activities/clubs to join, places to go out more, etc etc.
Card 5: The first step you need to take towards "pop-yoohoo-larity"
Spread inspired from the song "Popular" from the musical Wicked
Here's a clip of the song for all to see and enjoy:
Popular