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XII. The Hanging Cat
 
Join Date: 30 Oct 2004
Location: Washington, DC
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XII. The Hanging Cat

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8.2.1 Manga 4 Wands

Dance, gypsy, dance!
The belle of the ball.
The roar of the greasepaint, the smell of the crowd!
A come-hither glance.
Her hair is her crowning glory.
Pretty is as pretty does.
Be the center of attention.
She's only a bird in a gilded cage.
Youth is wasted on the young.
And the crowd goes wild!
Giving their hearts.
Showering her with praise.
Beauty is in the eye of the beholder.
Give her a hand!
Gilding the lily.
Clothes make the woman.
Beautiful flowers for a beautiful lady.

8.2.2 Ack!!!
I am the belle of the ball.
I am the center of attention.
I'm only a bird in a gilded cage.
I feel like my youth was wasted.
My hair is my crowning glory.

8.2.3 My own situation.

How my youth was wasted: I was very shy, backward, self-consious when I was young, but, because I was relatively attractive, people thought I was stuck up instead. So they stayed away from me, further isolating me and making me wonder what was wrong with me. In my later 20s, I always said that if I knew then what I know now, at least I would have had alot more fun. But I probably would have picked up some more opportunities, too.

I am vain about my hair, and it is very tied up in my identity. I have never had short hair my whole life. (My mother used to struggle to keep it presentable when I was little. If I were her, I would have chopped it off in a second!) I am 47 years old and I still have long, curly dark hair, now streaked with grey, that I refuse to cut short or color! I always say, "I just let it do what it wants to do."

I have mentioned being the center of attention before. It has been a strange life, often painfully self-conscious and wanting to be the center of attention all at the same time.

I'm not a bird in a GILDED cage, but I often feel caged in by my husband's emotional neediness. If he would stop DEMANDING attention and affection from me all the time, I would willingly GIVE it on my own! As it is, I just feel like I am in a constant negotiation instead of a giving relationship. This is a constant in my life that I struggle with every day. (And I know it's not all him. This is probably more my issue than his.)

Well, these tarot readings sure make it all hang out, don't they! I blame Mary Greer.
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