Trying to understand "Death" card as a challenge/ obstacle

Miradeck

Dead end

It could mean that the topic is closed and decidedly "over", as far as this person is concerned, for reasons taken seriously enough to be indisputable... So, the action may be undesirable, or like beating a dead horse, if it's even thought about at all.

Thanks IndigoWaves, sounds to me the "Death" card really does mean there is nothing positive coming out of the "action" and therefore pointing to a dead end, and nobody wants to take the dead end route.
 

Padma

Can I expand this topic a little to understand further how the meaning of "Death" would change if this was in the position of "Feelings for someone"? Does it mean the feelings have died in the current form and have transitioned to another state of feelings? e.g. from love to hate? Or does it simply mean a dead end to the current state of emotions?

I can't speak for Thirteen, but I would say, myself, that it means the person has moved on. The feelings have died, and they are moving forward (death is a passage to another place). So, to me, it means they have made a healthy step forward, insofar as feelings are concerned. They see there is no point, and are getting on with life.
 

Thirteen

Can I expand this topic a little to understand further how the meaning of "Death" would change if this was in the position of "Feelings for someone"? Does it mean the feelings have died in the current form and have transitioned to another state of feelings? e.g. from love to hate? Or does it simply mean a dead end to the current state of emotions?
Death doesn't say anything is going to "transition." It says that something is going to "end" and something new will take it's place. So, it would be difficult (unlikely) for a person to love you, that to suddenly end, and then hate takes it's place. Because usually love becoming hate is a slow transition. Love is worn away and replaced, bit by bit by hate. That's not Death. Death is something switches off, you're sad about it, and something new switches on. So, it'd be more like you're embroiled with someone, then one day you wake up and say, "I just don't care any more. There's nothing there." The feelings have died; that might make you sad, but it doesn't change that "feelings dead" reality. And maybe one day you'll say, "I now feel sorry for them," but for a moment there is a blank, with nothing but a little sadness for the loss.

Likewise, Death could mean that old ways of feeling about a person switch off to be replaced by a new way. Like you were okay with a girlfriend/boyfriend relationship, and one day you stop feeling that; you feel "This is no longer okay. I need a commitment. I want to feel like a wife/husband." And the reason I point this out is because any "switch off/on" of feelings risks an end to the status quo. And that's where things can literally "die" along with the feelings. When you realize you can't go on being just a boyfriend/girlfriend, that's when you're likely to say, "Marry me or let me go." And thus, that death of feeling could lead to a literal death of the relationship. Or, in the best circumstances, something new and different has taken the old, "dead" relationship's (and it's feelings) place if you do get married.
 

arcange

Last week I did a 3 card reading for my niece. Death came up as her interior, 3C as her exterior, King Wands was the focus.

In a few weeks she is leaving her apartment to move in with her boyfriend. And she's excited to take their relationship to a new level.

In this case Death is the end of her living by herself.
 

Miradeck

So, to me, it means they have made a healthy step forward, insofar as feelings are concerned. They see there is no point, and are getting on with life.


Thanks Padma. So it's really depicting closure, an end to the emotions.
 

Miradeck

Trying to understand "Death" card as a challenge/ obstacle

Death doesn't say anything is going to "transition." It says that something is going to "end" and something new will take it's place. So, it would be difficult (unlikely) for a person to love you, that to suddenly end, and then hate takes it's place. Because usually love becoming hate is a slow transition. Love is worn away and replaced, bit by bit by hate. That's not Death.

Likewise, Death could mean that old ways of feeling about a person switch off to be replaced by a new way.

Thanks Thirteen for adding clarity. I did a search online for other explanations on "Death" as feelings and I came across a post where you mentioned "Old feelings are dying, new feelings are going to begin--as mentioned, there is a change going on in your feelings. So, if you maybe hated someone, that hate is dying, and maybe you're starting to like them?"
Isn't this likened to a transition though?
Can you elaborate further?
 

Miradeck

Last week I did a 3 card reading for my niece. Death came up as her interior, 3C as her exterior, King Wands was the focus.

In a few weeks she is leaving her apartment to move in with her boyfriend. And she's excited to take their relationship to a new level.

In this case Death is the end of her living by herself.



Thanks arcange, I understand now, that "Death" simply means an end to a situation.
 

Thirteen

Not time to transition.

"Old feelings are dying, new feelings are going to begin--as mentioned, there is a change going on in your feelings. So, if you maybe hated someone, that hate is dying, and maybe you're starting to like them?"
Isn't this likened to a transition though?
Transition is defined as a "process" or period of changing from one state to the next. This means, to me, that either (1) you see the change coming and have time to adjust, or (2) it's so gradual that you change without realizing it. Thus, cards like Temperance, the Wheel, or the World would, to me, be better defined as transitions. Temperance melds the old elements into something new, like blending a family. The old families, their ways and dynamics, are still alive and kicking. But as the new, combined family "rejiggers" the situation--makes adjustments--they blend into something different. The Wheel indicates a new stage in an old situation. Like, you're still at the company, still in the same department...but you've been given a new position with more responsibility. It may be a bit of a surprise, but it's not like you were, out of the blue, fired. You can easily adjust. The World is closer to Death in that you do have to say good-bye to something; graduate and leave college for a job, for example. But the World card indicates that you're prepared for this, maybe even planned for it. You saw it coming and the transition is smooth.

But Death...Death isn't a process or period of change. It's "That's over." And you go, "Wait! What?" You did not see this coming or at least, did not see it coming *right now!* Example of transition: "Oh, one day we're going to get married...we've been talking about it...we're moving in together...I've been looking at rings and dresses...we've set a date." Example of Death: "I need to say something. It's this: I want to get married or I want to end the relationship."

What? Wait? Where did this come from?

And there is that "drop" in your gut. That moment of numbness and nothing. Are you scared? Are you sad? Are you happy? Do you know what you feel? Whatever was there (the relationship as you thought you knew it), it isn't there any more...it's just gone. And there may be a long nothing where you grieve over that (and there is nothing to "transition" to), or there may be a sudden replacement ("Marry me!"), and you don't feel like you're getting any time to process it. You either accept the new or you don't.

That's the difference between Death and all those other transition cards. You don't get time to "transition." :joke:
 

Miradeck

Example of Death: "I need to say something. It's this: I want to get married or I want to end the relationship."

What? Wait? Where did this come from?

And there is that "drop" in your gut. That moment of numbness and nothing. Are you scared? Are you sad? Are you happy? Do you know what you feel?


Ok I re-read your clarification a couple of times just to be sure I understood. So you mean, "Death" as feelings, could refer to that shock, that emptiness, or simply happy feelings that follow when an unexpected message was put across?
 

Thirteen

Processing the loss

Ok I re-read your clarification a couple of times just to be sure I understood. So you mean, "Death" as feelings, could refer to that shock, that emptiness, or simply happy feelings that follow when an unexpected message was put across?
Okay, no...it's not shock. The Tower says "you will be shocked." Death says...there's going to be a loss...and you will need time to adjust to that loss before you can even think of transitioning to something new.

Example: I have a friend and his wife was terminally ill. He *knew* she was going to die, and did all he could to prepare for it. She passed as peacefully as possible. But believe me, nearly three years later, he is not over the loss. He is in no way over that loss. He is still angry about, still sad about it, still in pain about it. And if the most wonderful woman and new perfect wife were to come into his life...he wouldn't' see her. Because he isn't over the loss. He *can't* transition, until he processes the loss first.

That's a pretty clear example. But what about relationship spreads where someone gets the Death card and, instead of the relationship ending, the person get a proposal? Well, even if you're living with someone, and decide to marry, you may find yourself going through a bit of mourning over the loss of "single" you. The independent you who didn't share their finances, who didn't have that legal tie. And you may have to process, however briefly, that loss before you can give yourself completely to the idea of being married. I've seen a lot of engaged men and women fly into a panic a few months before the wedding, saying "what am I doing?" That's a person who said "yes!" in great delight without giving themselves time to say "good-bye" to the unmarried person they've been for so many years and will never be again. Which is why the panic hits them. Once they take a moment to process the loss of their single selves, they're fine.

Not all people have to do this on their way to the altar, but enough of them do that it's no surprise to me that Death sometimes shows up for men and women "transitioning" from unmarried to married. Some can just transition. Some need to deal with the loss of their unmarried self before that's possible.

Does that clear it up?