Kurenai
Hello Kurenai... I've been reading your post... I understand the benefits of breaking through barriers and meeting challenges face to face, but it sounds like you are becoming more and more worn down, rather than empowered by challenge... I'd also recommend leaving the moldavite for a while... I'm glad you've tucked it away just for now. Be gentle with yourself.
Our reaction to certain crystals is always going to be unique, because we are unique, so whether your current weak feeling is due to that stone or not, it may just be a challenge too far... I agree with Padma's early post re hematite being good for grounding... I especially love a beautiful black petrified wood that is found locally at my favourite place, but as that is not commonly available, I'd always recommend hematite. Some of the black stones, whilst very powerful and grounding, have such huge energy that they can also kick-start some sometimes unwanted energy rushes... ... Hematite is inexpensive, very grounding, and also works with improving self-esteem, and things to do with blood, which might be particularly useful as it sounds as though you feel drained 'vitally'... I'd also encourage you to get yourself a piece of Mangana calcite... a great self-hugging cuddle energy stone...
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When I first adopted my moldavite, many years ago, I felt the thrill or tingle... a shiver down my spine... I also did feel a bit constricted in my chest, for memory... people will not only respond to it differently, but will also find different uses for it. For me, mine is now encased in a silver egg pendant, as it is said to work well with silver... it is by far my most accurate pendulum!!!
I did love Padma's explanation of "purpose" and you yourself have hit the nail on the head, I reckonGiving yourself permission to be happy is one of the highest purposes on the planet, I think. If you struggle trying to be 'special' or 'powerful' or anything like that, life becomes a constant drain... If you laugh often, deep, and from the heart, that laugh, and your whole attitude, becomes infectious, and gives others permission to loosen up and do the same...
No-one said our purpose had to be outrageously "Wow!"...
Many Blessings to you all...
And many hugs to CN, Padma, dan, GD, Blue, gregory, stormy, (aaargh, I'm missing people), and other AT pals that I find myself missing due to my infrequent visits :-O
Thank you linnie,
Yes, I have not touched my modavite in 2 weeks now. So many things going on that just overwhelms me and don't so much else. I am just tired and scared now, wondering when the next blow is coming.
I did buy myself a Black Tourmaline bracelet recently -- hopefully that will help ground me a bit.
