Social Tarot

I would ask "does this ever happen to you" but I am pretty sure that it happens all the time to people who read Tarot. I am curious how it makes you feel and you handle it.

So, you are with friends or family or really any group, and someone finds out you are into Tarot and announces it and people find that amusing, "so you" or whatever and then you are asked to do readings. The thing is, although these people are probably actually interested and in a way fascinated by the prospect of having a tarot reading, it isn't something they "believe" in and they make that clear by the smirky way they ask, or a kind of superior or "I dare you" attitude.

I often feel like they are:
1. Hiding a secret desperation and trying not to show it to the others by treating it as a joke.
or
2. Just having a go at you. (Family usually)
or
3. Using you for entertainment, like a carnival Tarot reader from a movie.

I really wish I had the confidence to go with it and "do the thing" and maybe something interesting comes out of it, but I don't really and find the situation unpleasant.

The times I did do it it didn't go so well, people commenting and joking etc, and that didn't do much for my confidence. So I nearly always avoid it. If we've been drinking at all I always say (and it's true) that I never read when I've been drinking.

I wonder if any of you have any stories about an impromptu reading at a party or something where you were kind of goaded by people to perform and how it went.

Goaded - me? Never. Lol.
It's a bad idea - I wouldn't do it. (why let yourself be used in such a way?).

But I've never been in quite such a circumstance.

Either the group won't be interested at all (too scientific - topic moves on to other things) - or half of them are readers or dabble themselves, and then we have a wail of a time sharing.

I did once offer Tarot readings as my neighbourhood Summer garden party.
Most of my neighbours I'd say - are "Straight" in this respect so what happened is - they mostly wondered to themselves (I could see it in their faces) of whispered about it.
And then when I was packing up to go home - they began que-ing up.
It took them all day to gather their courage - lol.

Next time - I should arrange a "plant" sitter to break the ice...

as you said we all have had some experience with this. living in the Midwest of the US it's looked down on to be into anything that is "mystical". as it means you don't believe in the Bible, which is a whole other story.

however me personally, I quit caring what people think. I love my tarot decks, if someone doesn't believe in them. it doesn't effect me one way or another.

if someone is truly interested in tarot, I explain it to them and offer them a short free reading or for their birthday. surprisingly enough this has gotten one of the most "closed minded" person I know to become very open to tarot to the point of asking for readings.

I also encourage people to simply appreciate the artwork of tarot, than go into explaining symbolism to them and how it works with tarot. even if they still don't believe in tarot they at least start to see their beauty.

that being said anyone that shows an unhealthy interest, I drop all tarot conversations with them. I had someone I work with ask me if tarot can tell you other people's secrets, still makes my skin crawl thinking about it.

Tanga said:

I did once offer Tarot readings as my neighbourhood Summer garden party.
Most of my neighbours I'd say - are "Straight" in this respect so what happened is - they mostly wondered to themselves (I could see it in their faces) of whispered about it.
And then when I was packing up to go home - they began que-ing up.
It took them all day to gather their courage - lol.

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That's a funny story.

What's interesting is because you offered, you were in control of the situation.

I guess what makes me uncomfortable is when people treat it like a "Party Trick".

dawning_tarot said:

if someone is truly interested in tarot, I explain it to them and offer them a short free reading or for their birthday. surprisingly enough this has gotten one of the most "closed minded" person I know to become very open to tarot to the point of asking for readings.

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This gives me the idea that when someone asks me to do my "party trick" I should turn it back to them and ask why they want me to read their Tarot.

If they continue to be silly then it's easy to be silly back, but if they are actually curious, (and I think they usually are even if they pretend not to be) then this question will foster a little more respect or appreciation for the art of Tarot and what the reader can do.

Here is one story of mine:

I was in a cafe in Paris showing a friend my deck I had recently finished and got back from the printer and a guy came to our table admiring them.

I was flattered and he seemed okay and he asked me to do a reading. So I did and the guy shot down every single thing I said. It was super annoying.

My friend told me later that I needed to have more confidence so clearly it was showing that he was getting to me.

But here is the funny part, everything I had told him, came true right there at that table within the next 30 minutes or so.

I didn't actually realise until later thinking about the whole thing how spot on all the things I told him were. So in a weird way, it was worth it to do because I built my confidence and broke in my new deck in a firey fun way!

I just say no. It actually happened to me quite recently, and the person who asked was someone who is into it all herself. Still - no. Tarot is not a part of my "social life". If she'd said would I read for her some time in the future - I might have said OK. But as an "OK, I just stayed overnight with you, would you read for me" - nope.

gregory said:

I just say no. It actually happened to me quite recently, and the person who asked was someone who is into it all herself. Still - no. Tarot is not a part of my "social life". If she'd said would I read for her some time in the future - I might have said OK. But as an "OK, I just stayed overnight with you, would you read for me" - nope.

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Yeah - I agree.
I am not a party trick.

Re: Cafe story... the department store Selfridges - here on Oxford street, central London -
has a small "Psychic Sisters" corner in the basement - where you can get Tarot readings and buy crystals etc.
This is how it started:
A Tarot reader was in the Selfridges cafe, doing a reading for her friend, on the table over lunch.
The manager walked by and saw this - and offered her a job reading there.
She's moved on - but her legacy of a Tarot reading shop inside a mainstream department store remains.

JMI_Tarot said:

... So I did and the guy shot down every single thing I said. It was super annoying.

My friend told me later that I needed to have more confidence so clearly it was showing that he was getting to me.

But here is the funny part, everything I had told him, came true right there at that table within the next 30 minutes or so.

I didn't actually realise until later thinking about the whole thing how spot on all the things I told him were. So in a weird way, it was worth it to do because I built my confidence and broke in my new deck in a firey fun way!

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My very first professional reading was like that - I was so mortified, I didn't read for about 3 years after that. Lol. Wish I'd found out sooner than I had - how accurate that first reading had been - such is the journey.

This is a great topic! I'm semi closeted about my tarot, and this is something I often wonder about.

JMI_Tarot said:

So, you are with friends or family or really any group, and someone finds out you are into Tarot and announces it and people find that amusing, "so you" or whatever and then you are asked to do readings.

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Hasn't happened yet. If a person finds out, they find out in the course of a conversation, and the conversation continues. None of my friends have yet been broadcasters-of-people's occupations. Would your friends announce an accountant to a gathering and insist that they do everyone's tax returns for entertainment?

I often feel like they are:

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<grin> Well, it hasn't often happened to me, and I've been reading since the nineteen seventies. Perhaps I live in a different community.

1. Hiding a secret desperation and trying not to show it to the others by treating it as a joke.

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I think half humanity do that anyway, that's why they are xenophobic or cruel to others or have racist or sexist jokes. It's not just a Tarot-thing - people reveal their weaknesses in every aspect of every conversation.

2. Just having a go at you. (Family usually)

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<shrug> If you think people are going to have a go at you, why would you give them ammunition? Especially people you've known all your life and know quite well?

3. Using you for entertainment, like a carnival Tarot reader from a movie.

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This HAS happened occasionally, though not in a group-context, more people who know asking occasionally. I have a policy: if *I* offer a reading, it's free. If anyone *asks* for a reading, they pay the going rate. This is what I do for cash, it's that simple. Ask them if they'd insist that a plumber do their pipes for free or a mechanic fix their car for free. That makes people stop and reconsider their requests.

I really wish I had the confidence to go with it and "do the thing" and maybe something interesting comes out of it, but I don't really and find the situation unpleasant.

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Smile sweetly at them and tell them you'll book them each in for a paid private reading. The serious ones will take it. The idiots will back down.

I wonder if any of you have any stories about an impromptu reading at a party or something where you were kind of goaded by people to perform and how it went.

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I have *stacks* of stories about when I was hired as The Entertainment at a local venue: paid a fee by the venue to provide "free" readings for their patrons on special days (like Mother's Day, Valentines Day, New Years Eve etc). They've all been drinking: I'm stone cold sober, I give them a quickie and a business card. Generates a lot of future private readings for me.

The memory that is surfacing most insistently is this: It was a Valentines Day gig, two or three Valentines'-ago, and everyone had had drinks. I was pulling three-carders quickly for people. A bunch of giggly young girls, barely legal-to-drink, sat down, and they each had a quickie. I said whatever I said to most of them, but with one girl, I looked at the three cards on the table, and all I could see was the Empress.

And the Empress became her mother, and seemed to be scowling. Before I had a thought in my head, my mouth opened and started talking. I listened. I said "You've been keeping a secret from your mother." All her friends looked astonished and all looked at her. There were calls of "how did you know" from one or two of them. I went on: "you need to tell her, and you need to tell her RIGHT NOW, because if you don't, she'll find out some other way, and you'll be in a lot worse trouble than you are now."

The reading ended there. I'd assumed, based on their age and drunkenness that the secret she was keeping was that she was pregnant by some unacceptable boy, but I didn't voice that, because it was only my own guess, not a part of the reading. So I asked her what the secret she was keeping from her mother actually was.

Turned out that her mother had gone for a two-week holiday overseas, leaving her at home. And she'd borrowed her mother's car. And she'd completely wrecked it. And she was trying to invent a cover-story to explain it when Mum came home. As a result of the reading, she decided to tell her mother over the phone there-and-then, and got yelled at, but we all could sense that her mother would have cooled off and been ready to deal with the car sensibly by the time she came home. Best possible outcome.

Her friends were stunned with my Awesome Power <grin>.