The Questions We Ask

headincloud said:

I'm not so sure being unaware of the question changes the fact it's a third party reading.

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It does change the tone of the reading, though. If you don't know the question, you've only got the cards there saying what they say. You're not filtering it through the lens of a known question. They have to do that work. It's a fuzzy line, but it's definitely there.

barefootlife said:

It does change the tone of the reading, though. If you don't know the question, you've only got the cards there saying what they say. You're not filtering it through the lens of a known question. They have to do that work. It's a fuzzy line, but it's definitely there.

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True, but I agree that it doesn't change the nature of what the querent is asking. All it does is keep the matter private, and I don't really need to know for me to tell the story in the cards. Sometimes the details of the question come out in the dialogue, most often they don't, and I haven't had any clients walk away obviously dissatisfied. I like to be able to offer that kind of privacy since it makes very little difference in how I read the cards. If clients choose to be forthcoming, I can tailor individual card interpretations accordingly, but it usually isn't necessary. The most important thing is that I follow the clients' lead in how much back-and-forth discussion they want. I tell them they can ask for more detail or clarification at any time.

Ace said:

I agree, but that is what the clients ask. All. the. time.

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<astonished> Is it? I find that less than one person in twenty even gives me a question or an area of their life to focus on, and then the questions range from career, to issues with parents or children, to making choices between two or more options, to tribal land issues, to their spiritual life ... it's probably been three or four years since someone asked "does he love me" although probably as many as one in five readings ends up being relationship-based even with no question posed. Even then, it isn't the love that is the issue so much as behaviours, and whether the client or the client's partner will deal with their issues and move on.

nisaba said:

<astonished> Is it? I find that less than one person in twenty even gives me a question or an area of their life to focus on, and then the questions range from career, to issues with parents or children, to making choices between two or more options, to tribal land issues, to their spiritual life ... it's probably been three or four years since someone asked "does he love me" although probably as many as one in five readings ends up being relationship-based even with no question posed. Even then, it isn't the love that is the issue so much as behaviours, and whether the client or the client's partner will deal with their issues and move on.

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My experience has been similar, but of course it's the way I work anyway. What has emerged most of the time as the reading unfolds is "I just got divorced, where do I go from here?" or "I'm not happy with my job, what should I do?" or occasionally something like "I'm worried about my son/daughter/husband/wife, what can you tell me about the situation?" What I try to provide in all cases is a situational outlook and something in the way of developmental insight.

nisaba said:

<astonished> Is it? I find that less than one person in twenty even gives me a question or an area of their life to focus on, and then the questions range from career, to issues with parents or children, to making choices between two or more options, to tribal land issues, to their spiritual life ... it's probably been three or four years since someone asked "does he love me" although probably as many as one in five readings ends up being relationship-based even with no question posed. Even then, it isn't the love that is the issue so much as behaviours, and whether the client or the client's partner will deal with their issues and move on.

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Of course it is Nisaba. But what they ask (even when they have only been out on a couple of dates) is whether the relationship has a future or does he love me or some other guarantee of success, that they don't have to keep LOOKING for "true love" and the happiness they they think will come from being with "the one" All I can do is tell them to look a the others actions, not their words and work on their own issues (such as I see in the cards.)

Part of it, is working an on-line site that advertises a little scammy: this reader has a special message for you. They will help you find your "soul mate" or "twin flame" and that they have special lucky numbers for you. I tell them that I don't do that and read for them as best I can. It is all I can do.

barb