Bright Mother (16)
Ok., this is gonna be long....
I just got my Faeiries and I went wild with Them once the baby was down for the night and I could focus on Them (at last!)
This is what I wrote in my journal about Her last night while doing this exercise :
"Sensual, peaceful, beatific. This definitely speaks to my life right now. Perceptive. Intuitive. A simpler life, like mine is right now. Good health. Abundance. Innocence and optimism for mental characeristics. Complex [She definintely has her darker moods, and contemplative moments spent thinking deeply]. Multi-dimensional. She is not just good or bad, she has many sides, and with time you will see them all (perhaps!) Spiritual characteristics are mystery, gift of child and a child's love, peace, nurturing.
This card almost looks like me, long red hair, but I'm skinnier. And a heart shaped ass! I can find nothing that's unappealing, even after searching over all the little Faeries to see what they're up to.
Oh! And look!!! Pink ribbons, tied like toe shoe ribbons down her arm! My dance is there, in me and in the Card! The baby she holds reminds me of Zane [my son]."
To then find out after writing all this that THIS is what I want to create - WOWOOWOWOW! That blew me away, because I HAVE exactly what I want to create. Inside, I've known that but the Faeries acknoweldged it for me.
Also, it took a very long time for me to chose my favorite, and finally came down to either Spirit Dancer, or Bright Mother. This was very very hard for me to chose -- the Spirit Dancer was me, before I had a child. I *am* a dancer so I connect very much with that "identity". Free, She is, uncontained and following her own course. Brining light. ------- Ok wait... a diversion : is that a faery word, brining? Because I keep misspelling things in my journal while trying to write about Them, and typos now too! The Faeiries are making me let go of rigid rules of spelling and grammar! How amazing is that [for an English major who crosses every T subconsciously by now!] that I can actually learn how to FORGET the rules!~!!!!
But, what I wanted to say was I have been struggling with the decision of whether to go back into my dance, which means sacrificing free time, and a lot of work in the studio. I keep finding myself doing the 2 of Pentacles dance - should I do this, or that? (Being a Libra here).
The Faeries pointed out to me that my dearest desire is fulfilled, and maybe I don't have to chose either/or in my terms of self-identity (Mother vs. Dancer). The Dancer is right there, wrapped in the pink ribbons down her arm. It's in the Mother, part of her, but not ALL of her.
Oh gosh, I'm sorry if I'm gooshy ... these Faeries are opening my eyes and teaching me things.
I've been holding off on reading any further on the Faerie Forum until mine got here, but now I'm having ever EVER ~so~ much fun!
Expect to see a rash of Faerie posts from me in the next week or so (and beyond, but certainly right now too).