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C_McQueen  C_McQueen is offline
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Frustrating Querents/Clients


I have someone I read for regularly. She wants to have me read for the same thing over and over again, and marvels when she gets the same cards repeatedly, but then doesn't follow the advice given to her in the reading. Lather, rinse, and repeat. I have a lot of affection for this person and I don't mind reading for her, but it's quite frustrating to do the exact same reading over and over. I'm looking for advice on how to either deliver the Tarot messages in a way that she might accept a little better (I don't think she sees Tarot readings as guidance, but rather as a much more mystical thing) or to maybe guide her to a different thing to focus on. If you have any advice, that would be awesome, or if you have any experiences similar to this to share, that would also be very much appreciated!
Top   #1
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EmpyreanKnight  EmpyreanKnight is offline
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Hope is a drug.

Tell her that you noticed that she kept asking about the same thing, and that if nothing has changed about the situation from when she last had a reading, she'll just get the very same cards. Tell her you feel compelled to tell the truth because you count her as a friend, and that you hope she won't get offended.

Alternatively, give her a reading about the very same cyclic situation, and ask the cards what steps she (or even you) might take to break out of it. It's meta, but it can also be effective.
Top   #2
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lantana  lantana is offline
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Some professional readers actually have a rule or clause where they won't read for the same question or topic again until a certain amount of time has passed, or if something has changed and the querent brings that new information to the table. I'm not sure how your client would take to you creating a new rule, but it could certainly help this situation from happening so much.
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Because I usually charge for readings, if someone returns with the same questions more than once, I won't read for them but will instead recommend another reader in the same area.

I don't mind doing it the first time, because something might have changed - but I'll usually get a sense that the person isn't doing their homework, so to speak! If they have returned, with the same issues and questions, my second reading will be more directive, more inquisitive in tone than the first - I'll try my best to make them see the part they need to be playing (according to the cards). Usually I find such customers to be extremely passive - they're waiting for something to happen, rather than do anything. They'll say things like "if it's meant to be" and trust in Fate, Destiny, Karma, whatever. Sometimes they think the act of a reading will somehow cause something magical to happen in their lives - "living lives in quiet desperation is the English way"

I find that some folk simply want the reader to reflect their hope, regardless of the evidence. I can't do that in Tarot reading any more than I'd do that with a friend - I can be sympathetic yes, but I'm not taking someone's money - or allowing them to take my time- to go over the same old, same old.

In the OP, you ask for examples, but I have to say in 30+ years of reading, I've far too many examples. Which is sad, and it's a way by which the unscrupulous ply their trade and bring the rest of us into disrepute - not you darling!

If it's a friend, I just don't even bother to get the cards out btw. I just put the kettle on, open a packet of biscuits and listen to the tale again (and again and again).
Top   #4
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Agreeing that it sounds like when she asks for another reading, what you really need to do is sit down with a cuppa and explain what tarot does, and that it's not some magic bullet to make something happen in one's life. If you don't go on the journey, the landscape isn't going to change. Plus, if she's waiting for something to magically happen, it has to be frustrating for her as well.
Top   #5
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This is something that I do with every client to avoid this problem:

Once I have explained to them the answers given by the tarot, I tell them to take a picture of the cards and keep it in their phone. Every time they feel confused/need guidance/forget what I said/have a similar question about the same matter, I tell them to look at the picture and meditate on them, the answer was already there all along.
Top   #6
empress's dress  empress's dress is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by C_McQueen View Post
I have someone I read for regularly. She wants to have me read for the same thing over and over again, and marvels when she gets the same cards repeatedly, but then doesn't follow the advice given to her in the reading. Lather, rinse, and repeat. I have a lot of affection for this person and I don't mind reading for her, but it's quite frustrating to do the exact same reading over and over. I'm looking for advice on how to either deliver the Tarot messages in a way that she might accept a little better (I don't think she sees Tarot readings as guidance, but rather as a much more mystical thing) or to maybe guide her to a different thing to focus on. If you have any advice, that would be awesome, or if you have any experiences similar to this to share, that would also be very much appreciated!
is this question you read on something that actually has huge consequences for her or is it something that she obsesses about that allows her to not focus on other more important and pressing things in her life or is it an attachment style issue and she needs counseling to help her get through it outside of a spiritual quest? or is it something else? i think that distinction is really important to make before answering this question. there may be other reasons people ask the same questions but those are usually the main 3 reasons.
Top   #7
C_McQueen  C_McQueen is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by empress's dress View Post
is this question you read on something that actually has huge consequences for her or is it something that she obsesses about that allows her to not focus on other more important and pressing things in her life or is it an attachment style issue and she needs counseling to help her get through it outside of a spiritual quest? or is it something else? i think that distinction is really important to make before answering this question. there may be other reasons people ask the same questions but those are usually the main 3 reasons.
She asks for career readings a lot. I don't think it's something she needs counseling for. The advice is usually along the lines of "you need to focus on one primary goal rather than having lots of irons in the fire to distract you" which I know isn't her style but it comes up pretty consistently.

I really like all the advice in this thread, and I do think that next time I read for her I'll do a better job explaining that Tarot is more for guidance and not so much like fortune-telling in the stereotypical sense. I think I'll also suggest she take a picture of the cards.
Top   #8
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Instead of reading on the same question as always, have you suggested to her that it would probably help her more if she were to clearly explain what it is she's expecting/desiring to happen? Then you can read for her on ways she can make this happen. That puts the ball in her court where it should be and gives her things to work on to reach the goals she has in mind.
Top   #9
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A lot of very good advice so far. I think I've only had a client who was like this. The readings were over the Internet and were many years ago. As I recall, I finally had to have a non-reading chat with her about the getting the same readings on the same questions, bringing many up the points that you all have already brought up. I ended by suggesting we do a reading on why she kept asking the same question. If I recall correctly, the reading brought up some insecurities and fears stemming from her past. We go her working on those first before I would do another reading on the original question. It got her past that bump in the road that had her stuck.
Top   #10


 


 


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