Reading v/s Judging

CrystalSeas said:

One of the things I learned in dealing with someone close who had substance abuse problems was this saying
"If you do more about solving their problem than they do, you're violating their boundaries"

It's incredibly difficult when you believe that you know what they "should" do to solve their problems. But it's far more loving to honor their own path, no matter how rocky, than to try to drag them over onto yours.

Click to expand...

Nicely said! I think that you can't actually help someone until they are willing to help themselves. So until that point you can open their eyes to what's there to help but they won't even see it if they aren't ready to help themselves. And I think I just answered my own next question. I was going to mention the saying that "you can lead a horse to water, but you can't make it drink". I think this is very true, but is it OK to lead them to the water, to let them know its there? I guess yes, but they may not even see it if they are not ready to take that drink.
Like AraLuck said, I think I'll watch for signs that he wants help, keep myself available, and be open to him about my journey and what helps me.
One day he might see the water and recognise it for what it is.

Yes, my path is good for me (as i see it now) but it doesnt mean its a right path for anyone else, and there's no growth or wisdom without pain and mistakes.

Every thing is simply an opinion, and everybody's opinion is different and subject to natural change.

I have a great image of "dragging" my brother over to my path, made me laugh! [emoji1]

Michael Brown describes real love as: allowing someone the space to evolve naturally. I love that.




Sent from my R5 using Tapatalk

*****

lightsofblue said:

Well said. Things like age, sex, ethnic background, culture, language, and other appearances are great deceivers. A wise reader acknowledges that in spite of years of study or practice, there will always be an infinite amount of information the querent knows about themselves that will not be discerned in any kind of reading. It is a horseplay to aggressively offer advice to anyone, but especially someone who has more life experience than oneself. Unless you know them personally (and even then..), it is just one more good reason to read the cards without embellishing.

Click to expand...

I so agree with you here! SO many readings I get done and people just charge at me with their opinions and judgements about my situation, which is quite complicated and laden with details that are too surreal to even talk about. So sometimes I go to a reader just for ground reality, you know? Something to just ground me... and like someone else said on this thread, instead I get a lecture about what's right and what's wrong etc etc...

lightsofblue said:

What happens when you cannot convince someone that they have reasons to feel dissatisfied and unhappy, even after lightning strikes? Free-will. And in reality, it precedes events and succeeds all events.[FONT=&quot]
[/FONT]

Click to expand...

Oh ya - exactly my belief too: FREE WILL. Although I do believe some things are fated, I believe some are left to free will and this is what it's all about in the end.

i used to have a regular client. The last time i read for her, quite a few of the cards showed depression. So i asked if she was depressed (our conversations outside of reading made me think she was.)

She got all defensive and said she wasn't. i didn't argue with her -- just told her that if she ever felt that way there is a lot of help out there.

i haven't heard from her since, and its been months. i feel bad about it, but i honestly didn't push her into admitting her depression. Maybe she thought i was judging her. i hope not.

I can't say I have much experience as a tarot reader, but my attitude with tarot is the same I have on my therapy sessions. I only state the facts after a careful evaluation and then I wait for their motivations. If they realize the "problem", then it's okay to give a suggestion (a politically correct one, of course. You should never let your personal opinion come between the two of you). If they don't acknowledge the issue, then there's no point. Even if your reading is correct, they won't acknowledge the reading because it's not what they wanted to hear. It's sad, but true.
Unless the person getting a reading is ready to face the issue, suggestions won't be heard. And this is the attitude I think it's correct. You should do the reading without any judgement and try to inspect their reaction to the news. Only so you can give a suggestion (or not).

Diplomatic/empathetic readers retain more clients and work more than judgemental ones.

I've said this before and I'll say it again, just because someone has the ability to read does not mean that they are an evolved spirit. I know folks tend to assume that, but it is simply not true.

As a reader I feel it is not my place to offer personal opinions or 'suggestions' unless asked. If someone comes to me for me to interpret the cards meanings for them, this doesn't mean I'm entitled to sit in judgement of them tell them what 'I think'.
What I think is really not important. It's their journey and their time with the cards. I see myself as helping to facilitate that and nothing more, nothing less.
I've seen and heard about readers who like to add their personal input and would personally avoid these readers.
Just like G6 said ... Just because a person reads cards it doesn't automatically make them more enlightened.

I think it is possible to be a bit too polite and I suspect that this may be an attempt to give some credibility to Tarot. I'm not a licensed therapist or, for that matter, a licensed anything. A Tarot reader walks a thin line because they are there to help but also have a kind of luxury to voice opinions and thoughts that come out of the reading itself. If people come to me they're coming for the "magic," but not any diploma or credentials I may have other than my reputation. The limitations that apply to professionals don't apply to me and that's a good thing. I am not merely the cards' mouthpiece, I'm me, and my slant on the cards will surface no matter what.

I think there's a difference between voicing an opinion and pushing an agenda. The former I do often. The latter never.

At the end of the day I guess a lot of it comes down to the clients expectations and wants . Are they looking for another's personals opinion of their situation or are they seeking purely an interpretation of the cards. For me , (and this is only a personal thing), I am seeking the messages contained in the cards when recieving a reading and if I want a personal opinion I am more likely to ask a friend or family member rather than a reader
However , everyone is different and perhaps some querants are indeed seeking personal opinions from readers? No doubt our individual experiences with reading for others and being read for colour our opinions on where that line sits. For me , it's not about being polite , (although I myself would consider it impolite if I offered an unsolicited opinion when as someone earlier mentioned I have no ideas about the influences of a personal life experiences , gender, age, culture etc), it's more about personal beliefs and there is really no right or wrong . When its all said and done, clients will return to readers they are comfortable with and who they feel connect with their spiritual needs and that's all that matters.

The cards indicated a lot of depression. i probably should have just told her that, and left it alone.