Leaving the querent with bad news

Miss Woo

Nineveh said:
Is it safe to say that you had received that which you requested -a reading? People are different and styles of delivery are different. There is a 50/50 chance I will feel some type of empathy towards a querent and other times I simply read the cards and move on. Personally, a tarot reader cannot make me feel "disempowered". I think such feelings have more to do with the querent's personality rather than the reader.

There is a reader who has a really heavy "dark cloud" type of energy with her presence and readings. I usually avoid exchanging with her as even her feedback has the negative energy. I think that is the best we can do. ☺

I don't think I'm explaining myself very well

When I have a Tarot reading, I have an expectation that the experience will be empowering for me. That's why I 'do' Tarot.

I don't think the Tarot reader themselves 'disempowered' me; I think the experience left me feeling that way, like I was in a hole with no way out.

I honestly don't have a problem with 'bad news'. I'm one of those realist people who prefer the truth no matter how bad it is. I respect and appreciate people who are straight with me

Bonny

Sweet, What you said was clear!! No worries -
What happened on your post seems to illustrate the question you were opening - that so much of people's (readers') 'stuff' (insecurity, unresolved anger, 'bad-day-itis etc) gets in the way of real listening...so what comes in response is more about them than the innocence of the questioner or the matter at task in the first place!

Well done!!!

God bless Everyone!

(Merry Christmas too!)

xx

B

gregory

nisaba said:
It's not about "good news" or "bad news". The client isn't a passive well of stillness while their life happens around them.

A reading, at least in my experience, doesn't do hard-and-fast predictions - our lives are not set in stone, we have freedom of choice. That's what being a conscious human, as opposed to a lower-order animal with a small brain, is about.

No, readings are about finding the opportunities that the client might face, and how to get the most out of them (in a "good" reading) or finding the risks and pitfalls a client might face and finding the best way for them to move forward to minimise the negative impact on their life or avoid it altogether (in a "bad" reading"). In a way, "good readings" can be bad for a client, if they think all they have to do is sit back and wait for the good stuff to unfold, while so-called "bad readings" are ALWAYS good in my experience: it is lovely to see a client leave, relieved or even delighted with the options they have for changing things around them.

Check !

MagsStardustBlack said:
Leaving the querent with bad news.....

In psychotherapy a contract is delivered verbally to the client. It is in place to safe guard both the client and counsellor against harm, breaches of boundaries and it is in place to ensure the client understands work is about to take place, enables them to understand and consent, and to engage in the session with equal responsibility.

Having said that. I believe a similar exchange of understanding should be clarified at the start of a tarot reading session. In consenting to participate the querent needs to accept their own responsibility for the nature of the process and what information might be received by them from the reader be it good or as in the op's question bad. It should be stated clearly at onset, that they feel safe enough and strong enough to proceed with the reading and take away with them whatever insights are given.

People have to be encouraged or at least assumed to be autonomous.

YES to this too.

tarotbear said:
You are all taking what I said here 'as examples' since we have no real statement here off of which to discuss - and blowing them way the f*ck out of proportion to support YOUR tunnel-vision'd ends, rather than take them as a simple, 'we need to have something to say here' discussion, to which I said we always need to use TACT, and to which I admit the Hindenburg analogy is a but extreme but it is an analogy, does anyone understand ANALOGY?

Dropping out of this discussion ... the sharks are out and hungry this Yule eve and can have their feeding frenzy without me. My original statement says :

I am sorry you see disagreeing with you as a personal attack. It wasn't. You know better than that, TB

EyeAmEye said:
I never once said nor even implied you drop a bomb, smile and beckon the next in line. That was a misquote from someone else in this thread. All I suggested in my original comment in this thread is that if there is bad in a reading and nothing particularly good, it is not anyone's responsibility to FIND positive where there isn't.

I agree totally.

Amanda said:
The box with the dead cat in it.. right?

Schrödinger's cat...
LOVE it !

Dangala said:
What if there is nothing but bad news for the quarent ?? I've had instances where they had their heart set on someone who did not feel the same way at all but they were under the illusion this person was their soul mate.. I just use tact and pray lol because it can get awkward.. :/

We see this here ALL the time actually. And everyone who offers a suggestion that in ANY way supports that person (as in tries to sugar coat a bit.) - that that person can bend to fit what they want - is leapt upon as the one who sees it RIGHT.

Dangala said:
Unfortunately some querents prefer rainbow readers and see anything else as a personal attack. This is when they go and try to get confirmation from another reader and sometimes fall with a soothe sayer.. I agree with your post though I feel the same.

Yup. There are threads like that too. You get "No you are WRONG when you so much as SUGGEST that they positive take is - not what you see. And people here KNOW (or should know) that tarot isn't that black and white, and that there can be a variety of takes - but no - unless you agree,you are WRONG (I often wonder why they post their readings and ask for others' views to be honest...)

empress_woo_woo said:
For me, the 'bad news' itself wasn't the problem, it was the way the information was delivered... It left me feeling disempowered. I had nowhere to go with it. It was like it was just dumped on me and I was on my own with it. It sucked.

And now I feel like I need an exorcism to get it out of my head LOL.

That IS bad, I agree.

empress_woo_woo said:
I don't think I'm explaining myself very well When I have a Tarot reading, I have an expectation that the experience will be empowering for me. That's why I 'do' Tarot.

I don't think the Tarot reader themselves 'disempowered' me; I think the experience left me feeling that way, like I was in a hole with no way out.

I honestly don't have a problem with 'bad news'. I'm one of those realist people who prefer the truth no matter how bad it is. I respect and appreciate people who are straight with me

That is how I like my sitters. Come by some time

I will tell you what I see - but nicely, as I warn of the impending million tonne weight that is heading for your foot right now...

Nineveh

Bonny said:
Sweet, What you said was clear!! No worries -
What happened on your post seems to illustrate the question you were opening - that so much of people's (readers') 'stuff' (insecurity, unresolved anger, 'bad-day-itis etc) gets in the way of real listening...so what comes in response is more about them than the innocence of the questioner or the matter at task in the first place!

Well done!!!

God bless Everyone!

(Merry Christmas too!)

xx

B

Bonny, empress was responding to me so it is safe for me to accept that you are speaking of my post. I'm actually on vacation and enjoying my family so there is no bad-day-itis here. This isn't a matter of listening but more so comprehension. Perhaps you should read my post, stop, and think with a clear mind leaving behind whatever biased thoughts you have for me before responding.

I think when considering topics such as these it would only be fair to consider both parties ( reader and querent). True, some readers bring their current mood even biased feelings into their readings. Other times it's the querent who has difficulty coping with bad news and life in general. Tarot is a peaceful outlet for me. When I'm having a bad day tarot completely clears my mind. So, your assumption regarding the reader is just that, a general assumption and does not define every reader.

Some people are very sensitive and incapable of dealing with even their own lives in a manner that is deemed normal. When faced with obstacles some people seek ways to work through those while remaining firm and of sound mind. There is a population of people who will fall into a state of depression and feelings of helplessness. We find this with querents who can't accept that a certain individual has no desire to be with them so the board gets the same question constructed forty different ways until the querent receives a reading that "empowers" them.

So, you are correct her statement was very clear but your response was one-sided.

Yes, Jehovah has blessed and annointed me.

Merry Christmas to you as well! ☺

Amanda

gregory said:
Schrödinger's cat...
LOVE it !

There you go ravenest -- gregory's solved it! This is what happens when you vigorously shake the box and the cat is not dead inside.

ravenest

Dangala said:
What if there is nothing but bad news for the quarent ?? I've had instances where they had their heart set on someone who did not feel the same way at all but they were under the illusion this person was their soul mate.. I just use tact and pray lol because it can get awkward.. :/

easy ... dont do 'heart set on' type of readings, tell the person to work out such things with the person concerned and not by tarot and give them a lecture on the silliness of the concept of soul mates when all she probably had was an infatuation.

*ding* $20 please !

ravenest

Amanda said:
The box with the dead cat in it.. right?

I missed this before .

The cat is dead ! ? ! ? How did you tell?

The whole point of that is you cant tell UNTIL you open the box ...

Did you do a reading on it ?

closerwalking

Luna-Ocean said:
I also think delivering the bad new is just as important with given the good news, but i also agree i think it's better for the reader to try and give the querent help with the positives then just leaving them with the worse news possible?

there is always hidden gift in everything, when someone shows up with "bad" opening in the reading, I am not afraid of this. because I know personally sometimes the biggest gifts come in strange packages, The gifts I am talking about are gifts of insight, gifts that help us grow, help us know ourselves better and figure out confusing behavior, which brings more freedom of choice, wise choices. I started down this path, when i realized that for all I had not wanted to, in my first marriage, I had recreated my parents marriage. This was big wake up call to me to figure out what was controlling my choices, because it sure was not my conscious mind. the difference for me is that I do not see that bad thing as stopping place. rather a place where that person has shown up in my life for support. I know for myself in being in some dark places, thank Presence for those who reminded me of truth, who helped me feel less alone, who joined me, met me where I was and helped me see it differently, discover the hidden light, the hidden message in it.

closerwalking

the tricky thing is to not be afraid of this side of life, To know when a person needs reality check or support in facing what is going on, or when they need support, as sometimes a person shows up close to drowning in the darkness, so there is no one fix or way that works in this. Bad starts are esp. challenging. complex readings to handle. to pretend to self that one can meet them always in the same manner is false.

Amanda

ravenest said:
I missed this before .

The cat is dead ! ? ! ? How did you tell?

The whole point of that is you cant tell UNTIL you open the box ...

Did you do a reading on it ?

Of course, us fortune-tellers do that sometimes... make predictions, that is... but apparently I was wrong (or maybe it was my cards that were wrong? Or the future just changed and it came back to life after being in that box a couple of weeks...

)

Although I think its about to tear your head off, the GOOD NEWS is that your cat is alive! :joke:

Leaving the querent with bad news

Miss Woo

Bonny

gregory

Nineveh

Amanda

ravenest

ravenest

closerwalking

closerwalking

Amanda