which card for pity?

Chubby Mummy

Yeah Waleswoman, youre right, 4 of cups is a good one too.
Sometimes women dont actually ask me, or even realise that their husband is with them from pity. I didnt mean this for a woman who came to me and specifically asked me, "i think my man feels sorry for me because i just lost my job/wrote off my car/just got pregnant to his child" (delete where appropriate). Sometimes, these women, are women i know, whose husbands/lovers are friends of my husbands and tell him or suggest to him that those are the reasons that they remain in the relationship. They will come and say to me, oh go on for a laugh do me a relationship spread for me n hubs, and then cards like the 2 of swords and 4 of cups will come up for his feelings and i will say things like, oh it seems like your life isnt too interesting at the moment, you might feel a touch bored but it will pass, maybe take hubs on holiday somewhere exciting??? (i dont like to be negative in readings, even if it was something like, tower/10 swords/3 swords all together, i will always look to the positive side of each card.)
My husband was one of those men who stayed in a relationship for 8 years from pity. His ex's mother died, they lost their baby, and she was majorly depressed, he was too much of a coward to dump her on top of that. (long story how he did get to leave her in the end)

Thanks for all your input everyone, its all good quality info and most of its goin in my notes!

xxx
take care
cm
 

MareSaturni

Chubby Mummy said:
They will come and say to me, oh go on for a laugh do me a relationship spread for me n hubs, and then cards like the 2 of swords and 4 of cups will come up for his feelings and i will say things like, oh it seems like your life isnt too interesting at the moment, you might feel a touch bored but it will pass, maybe take hubs on holiday somewhere exciting???
Click to expand...

That's good...sometimes the person ain't ready to listen to the real bad news. But i wonder, just out of curiosity...what if you friend came to you and said "all right, hub has been weird. what's going on?" and you got a 2 of swords or 4 of cups or any os the 'pity' cards?

Personally i'd have a big trouble at delivering the message. I always have, when it's bad news even for strangers, so imagine friends!

Love

:TPW Yuko
 

ArcanoMáximo

" which card for pity? "

With my RWS deck i always see this in the 6 cups cause is like the 2 Cups but in a lesser sense.Here isn't equality what is shown. Someone gives to the other from an upper position, even when to its back wanted to be gone, what is shown with the person that goes walking behind the main image, i mean would want to enter to 8 of Cups, but is maintained in the 6 even when no longer exists the 2 (where really is the feeling equality).
AM*
 

Genna

My two cents;don´t underestimate pity and compassion.From them great love may rise.I would let sleeping dogs lie.So what if he is with her for compassion?
Frida Kahlo used pity to hold on to her loves,Alejandro,and then Diego Rivera,according to "Frida:A Biography of Frida Kahlo" by Hayden Herrera,and wasn´t theirs(Kahlo´s and Rivera´s) a wonderful lifelong love;"larger than life"?
Who are we to judge if there is an element of pity,or at times only pity,that keeps a pair of lovers togeather?
IMHO.
However,this discussion about "pity"cards was very interesting and enlightening.
 

Chubby Mummy

hmmmm genna, yes, i see your point of view... i got this image in my head of a nurse falling in love with her patient....
Ok, so if I ever get the pity cards which i dread so much i wont be too drowned in misery!!

thanks for that point of view, its a very positive one!!!


xxx
cm
 

Genna

Thanks for your kind words.
 

judylea1

pity relationship

Ugh, I hate to say it but 6 of pentacles. One considers the other an object of charity.
 

rcb30872

I was thinking of The Empress. Something to do with mothering someone. Or perhaps staying in a relationship out of some sort of emotional blackmail, or something along those lines.

Not really sure if that would make sense.

Perhaps even The Hanged Man. Not letting something go when you need to. Not letting the other person let you go either.

Perhaps even the Nine of Swords????????

Bec
 

Chubby Mummy

Yeah, I think the empress rx could indicate bad behaviour on ones part - the emotional blackmail, clinginess, etc...
Combined with the 9 of swords you get the stress that goes with it too!!!!

xxx
cm
 

ihcoyc

Chubby Mummy said:
Hey all, Ive been thinking for a while, after doing readings for myself and friends, which card is the "i feel sorry for you thats why Im with you" card? Many female friends of mine in rocky relationships have asked me to do relationship spreads for them, and come up with their other halves true feelings for them, but how can you tell if a man is merely a coward and cannot express the reality of his emotions, which are that he feels sorry for her (perhaps of her circumstances, horrible past experiences, etc) and doesnt want to make things worse for her by dumping her??
Click to expand...

There are a couple I can think of in a situation of this nature. The Pope Rx, to me, is the card of maudlin pity and officiously unctuous sentimentality, of weeping inappropriately over the tender feelings of poor darlings.

Any of the 3s, especially the 3 of Cups (Rx) or the 3 of Swords (Rx), have a rather passive-aggressive feel to them: the 3 of Cups Rx relates to both XIII and III the Empress, suggesting the various acts of noxious kindness done to establish moral superiority, and a refusal to accept it's over. The 3 of Swords likewise suggests a refusal to verbally confront the matter and hash it all out.
 
contemplation (the hermit) Eight of cups REVERSED.