Putting the book down

Logiatrix

silverr said:
Ha! be my guest.

...and there it is!

Sincerely, it is such a true statement, and applicable to...well, everything, IMO. :heart:

SpiritOfTheDogz, I can sorta relate. Reading intuitively scared me, too. My comfort zone was playing cards and Marseille-type decks, where I relied heavily on numerology and the elements. In fact, when I first got to AT, I was kind of ashamed of reading with playing cards, as I thought they were inferior to tarot! Of course, I later learned differently, but I still felt inferior as a reader, compared to those who could read intuitively. To me, it was like the difference between black-and-white (my way) versus technicolor (the intuitive way).

I'd already been reading for seven or eight years by the time I tried to read intuitively, but I might as well have been a novice. For some people, intuitive reading seems to come naturally, but I sure had to do some work. I did a lot of notes and so on, and then I just had to take the plunge and practice. I did an ODW stint and forced myself to use a RWS deck exclusively.

I'm glad I jumped in; it was worth it. I can't speak for others, but stretching my intuition muscles has truly expanded my reading ability, especially with oracles.

ETA: Looky there...I'm at my 2,000th post! Woo-hoo! :party:

SpiritOfTheDogz

silverr said:
To add to what's already been said, Paul, there are two bottom lines to that issue. You're already choosing one, but you can always change your choice:

1 - When you choose to not know or accept that you're good/talented/worth enough, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks: you'll always doubt yourself. When someone scoffs at you, you'll accept it as proof that you're no good, and when someone praises you, you'll accept it with surprise and rationalize that they really don't know you well enough to see how incapable you are.

2 - When you choose to know and accept your innate goodness/skill/worth, then it doesn't matter what anyone else thinks: you'll always support yourself. When someone scoffs at you, you'll accept it as proof that they're not a very good judge, and when someone praises you, you'll accept it in good graces because you already know how good you are.

Either way, it really doesn't matter one whit what anyone else thinks. Invest yourself where you feel drawn to, and explore what's drawn you there. If trying something new makes you look silly or foolish for awhile, well, welcome to the club that all beginners join as soon as they start something new. We've ALL been in that club, even many, many times over.

Don't be afraid to be a beginner and make the inevitable mistakes. It's why they call that important card "The Fool."

Thanks for that, it is something I tell myself on a regular basis and I know the "real" truth, accepting it and changing my 40 plus years of using a certain thought process isn't easy. I thought negative thoughts about everything I do since being very small, it isn't to do with the thought of making mistakes because it's all new, I fear making mistakes with things I've done for years..it's just me. I know to get anywhere in the world, whether it's in work or just reading cards I need to be more positive and I am trying very hard to be but reproggramming takes a long time

Paul

silverr

Logiatrix said:
...and there it is!

Looking good. And congrats on #2000! :thumbsup:

SpiritOfTheDogz said:
Thanks for that, it is something I tell myself on a regular basis and I know the "real" truth, accepting it and changing my 40 plus years of using a certain thought process isn't easy. I thought negative thoughts about everything I do since being very small, it isn't to do with the thought of making mistakes because it's all new, I fear making mistakes with things I've done for years..it's just me. I know to get anywhere in the world, whether it's in work or just reading cards I need to be more positive and I am trying very hard to be but reproggramming takes a long time

Paul

In deepest sincerity, I say to that: BAH.
Time isn't a factor at all. What you've chosen in the past isn't a factor either. Whether you choose A or choose B is the only factor. Naturally what you've chosen before over and over has become habitual, so it feels more comfortable as it doesn't require any thinking, awareness or effort; it's a smoothly-worn groove. As long as you're happy with that, hold onto it because it's working for you. But when you start wanting something outside of that worn groove (which seems to be why you opened this topic), you'll need to put forth the smidgeon of effort it takes to make a different choice.

It's like eating at the same restaurant every Saturday night, and although you always spend some time looking over the enticing menu, you always order the same meal every week. There's nothing wrong with ordering the same meal every week. You keep ordering it because you enjoy it. But then one week, if you want to sample something *different* from your usual, you need to pay some actual attention to the menu, and instead of giving the usual response to the server who asks, "what'll it be?", you need to choose different words.

And that would actually be a good challenge for you, Paul: if you *want* to make a change in your self-image, then start by making a change in the words you use. Whenever you notice yourself using words/phrases that shortchange yourself and offer no self-support (like your last post), use the backspace key and then come up with supportive words/phrases instead. Sure, it'll *seem* like a whole lot of extra effort at first, because you'll be encouraging yourself to pay attention to what you say and what you verbally think instead of just coasting along in that worn groove. But after you get kick the engine over a couple times, you'll find you can adapt to different words (and accept a different view) much more readily than you've given yourself credit for.

And once you've put in some mileage on choosing supportive words, you'll likely find you're getting a deeper, more intuitive connection with the cards.

That's my input, and I'm off the soapbox. I will just say that there's a lot of good info and advice throughout this thread for you - and for anyone else interested in reading without the book. It's a good thread.

SpiritOfTheDogz

silverr said:
In deepest sincerity, I say to that: BAH.
Time isn't a factor at all. What you've chosen in the past isn't a factor either. Whether you choose A or choose B is the only factor. Naturally what you've chosen before over and over has become habitual, so it feels more comfortable as it doesn't require any thinking, awareness or effort; it's a smoothly-worn groove. As long as you're happy with that, hold onto it because it's working for you. But when you start wanting something outside of that worn groove (which seems to be why you opened this topic), you'll need to put forth the smidgeon of effort it takes to make a different choice.

Time IS a factor what has spent 40 years in the making can't be changed as siple as that, I'm not saying it can't be done and I'm not saying I'm not trying but 40 years of being told you're useless and getting knocked down everytime you stand up does take it's toll. It's not even down to awareness of effort as you put it, as thee is no effort in doing something that HAS become so natural over the years that it happens without even thinking about it, therefore am not aware, until its too late.
I KNOW i'm stuck in a groove and it will take effort to get and I'm making that effort, the way your last post reads is though you think I'm making no effort at all. If you'd known how bad I was a year ago, or even too and so on, you'd know what effort I HAVE put in already

silverr said:
And that would actually be a good challenge for you, Paul: if you *want* to make a change in your self-image, then start by making a change in the words you use. Whenever you notice yourself using words/phrases that shortchange yourself and offer no self-support (like your last post), use the backspace key and then come up with supportive words/phrases instead. Sure, it'll *seem* like a whole lot of extra effort at first, because you'll be encouraging yourself to pay attention to what you say and what you verbally think instead of just coasting along in that worn groove. But after you get kick the engine over a couple times, you'll find you can adapt to different words (and accept a different view) much more readily than you've given yourself credit for.

I agree with what you are saying here but disagree with how simple you are making it sound like "Whenever you notice yourself...", that's the point I don't, not often enough anyway.
When i do notice, it isn't just a case of kicking the ngine of a couple of times, it'll take a lot more than that.

I'm not saying that what you say isn't right but you certainly have no idea of the enormity of the task.

Hang on a minute while I just backspace verything I've written

Paul

silverr

SpiritOfTheDogz said:
Hang on a minute while I just backspace verything I've written

Paul

heron

OMG - what a thread!

It feels odd to be adding to a discussion that seems to have ended more than six months ago, but reading (and re-reading) the posts in this thread has been such an eye-opener and a confirmation of my own experiences (that I had not clearly put into words for myself) that I really must urge anyone who happens across it to READ IT ALL.

For what it's worth, I used to read Tarot by the book & spent years learning the RWS card meanings & managed some decent results for myself and a few trusting friends. Then I joined TABI & in the course of their Endorsement process learned (from Joy of Angel Corner - look her up) to trust my intuitive feelings alongside the "book" meanings. That was the start of an amazing journey similar to Paul's, and now I'm beginning to acquire a few oracle decks to broaden/deepen my scope, and many, many querents now tell me my (free - which may have some bearing) readings are really helpful and 'accurate'. Faery Godmother, I love your advice here.

I read the Tarot of the Imagination and even the Tarot of Origins (Sergio Toppi's artwork really "resonates" for me) but personally I can't be doing with too many elves & fairies, or with artwork like the Lotus one mentioned - I'm a bit of an art snob - but it doesn't seem to matter which deck we use, so long as we trust our reading of the images/meanings, regardless of what the card is supposed to mean.

Whatever...I'm beginning to lose track of what I want to say, so I'll sign off, but THANK YOU ALL so much for sharing your wisdom and your fears.

~Charles/heron/man