Lovers as (non-romantic) person

Any advice on how to interpret The Lovers as how someone views someone else in a strictly platonic, non-romantic, non-sexual way? I've read that the Lovers can mean someone who's very flirty or who uses their attractiveness to their advantage. It could be they see them as attractive even if they aren't attracted *to* them. I've also read that it stands for someone artistic or creative, although I have never seen this card that way before. Creativity would be more of an Empress or wands kind of thing, IMO. I've been wracking my brain over this one for a while so let me know if you got any other possibilities.

Pique Dame said:

Any advice on how to interpret The Lovers as how someone views someone else in a strictly platonic, non-romantic, non-sexual way? I've read that the Lovers can mean someone who's very flirty or who uses their attractiveness to their advantage. It could be they see them as attractive even if they aren't attracted *to* them. I've also read that it stands for someone artistic or creative, although I have never seen this card that way before. Creativity would be more of an Empress or wands kind of thing, IMO. I've been wracking my brain over this one for a while so let me know if you got any other possibilities.

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The card also means choices, and involves a third person.

Well, if we go along with the "Gemini" zodiac assignment to this card, then the platonic works perfectly (i.e. air sign—about the mind, ideas, communication, twin spirits). The Lovers, after all, has always had images of cupid shooting arrows or an angel/match maker bringing two people together. The couple aren't flirting or kissing or even holding hands. They're being paired up—a literal match made in heaven in some cases—because, like the twin brothers of the Gemini story, they're going to want to spend their lives together.

I mean, wine and roses and passionate sex are awesome and well worth having. But we don't really think of those as "love" do we? Because illness, injury or circumstances (requiring the two be apart for a long time)...can happen. And that is when we find out of the person really loves us. When they say: "You are my best friend, and I don't need anything more from our relationship than to know you are there for me, and that I can always be there for you..."

Not "I need romance/passion/kids or I'm out of here."

I almost think that all Lovers cards should feature a very old couple on a park bench. Maybe that would ease confusion over what it's really about.

Ruby Jewel said:

The card also means choices, and involves a third person.

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But how do you apply that to a non-love triangle situation between two acquaintances?

Thirteen said:

Well, if we go along with the "Gemini" zodiac assignment to this card, then the platonic works perfectly (i.e. air sign—about the mind, ideas, communication, twin spirits). The Lovers, after all, has always had images of cupid shooting arrows or an angel/match maker bringing two people together. The couple aren't flirting or kissing or even holding hands. They're being paired up—a literal match made in heaven in some cases—because, like the twin brothers of the Gemini story, they're going to want to spend their lives together.

I mean, wine and roses and passionate sex are awesome and well worth having. But we don't really think of those as "love" do we? Because illness, injury or circumstances (requiring the two be apart for a long time)...can happen. And that is when we find out of the person really loves us. When they say: "You are my best friend, and I don't need anything more from our relationship than to know you are there for me, and that I can always be there for you..."

Not "I need romance/passion/kids or I'm out of here."

I almost think that all Lovers cards should feature a very old couple on a park bench. Maybe that would ease confusion over what it's really about.

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This is all well and good, but I'm talking about a scenario in which there is no romantic love or sexual chemistry of any kind. We're talking two (straight) female acquaintances who don't even know each other that well and are already married. If one of them sees the other as Lovers, what do you glean from that?

Pique Dame said:

But how do you apply that to a non-love triangle situation between two acquaintances?

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I don't know your circumstances, so that is up to you. I'm just telling you another meaning of the card as an option. You might also consider that you do not have all the information. The tarot is rather uncanny so, I always look at every aspect of the card. Such as the fact you may be wearing a blindfold. As a matter of fact, just what is the attraction?

Pique Dame said:

But how do you apply that to a non-love triangle situation between two acquaintances?

This is all well and good, but I'm talking about a scenario in which there is no romantic love or sexual chemistry of any kind. We're talking two (straight) female acquaintances who don't even know each other that well and are already married. If one of them sees the other as Lovers, what do you glean from that?

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Key work is also healing, a healing presence in someone's life or a fondness for someone represented by the lovers.

Ruby Jewel said:

I don't know your circumstances, so that is up to you. I'm just telling you another meaning of the card as an option. You might also consider that you do not have all the information. The tarot is rather uncanny so, I always look at every aspect of the card. Such as the fact you may be wearing a blindfold. As a matter of fact, just what is the attraction?

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There is no attraction, per se. It's just one person's impression of the other. This card is most often discussed or applied to a romantic or potentially romantic relationship (or at least one where there is history and a deep connection between 2 parties) so I was looking for help applying it to one in which there is absolutely no romance at all and the people in question have only met a handful of times.

headincloud said:

Key work is also healing, a healing presence in someone's life or a fondness for someone represented by the lovers.

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I can see a fondness being represented here. I don't know about healing since this isn't a very deep friendship. It could be one feels a "soul sister" type of connection to the other despite not having spent much time together.

Thelma and Louise?

Pique Dame said:

This is all well and good, but I'm talking about a scenario in which there is no romantic love or sexual chemistry of any kind.

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Um...that's what I was talking about. The Gemini story is about twin brothers who would give their lives for each other. No sex. No romance. Just brotherly love.

We're talking two (straight) female acquaintances who don't even know each other that well and are already married. If one of them sees the other as Lovers, what do you glean from that?

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I make of it a potential sisterhood where the participants will be there for each other though illness, injury, marriage, divorce, children, celebrations, achievements. Look, if you got this card for a straight, married man who was about to be police partners or a fireman with some other male acquaintance, fighting together, saving each other's lives, relying on each other,...you'd understand this Lovers card instantly as indicating the "choice" they were being given. To go from acquaintances to "brothers," from casual friends to relying on each other through thick and thin. Holmes and Watson. Kirk and Spock. Calvin and Hobbs, Bert and Ernie, Frodo and Sam, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

So, switch all that over to straight females. Thelma and Louise anyone? Anna and Elsa (Frozen)? Sisters in arms. In the simplest terms, a pair who always have each other's back. But remember, the card is about choice, too. And that choice is always to separate from the herd in order to join with this person in that exclusive friendship, or to maintain the status quo. Friendships like this, very like romances, tend to isolate the two involved. So, are these two part of a larger social group? If the one woman makes the choice to get to know this acquaintance better, and maybe become "Thelma and Louise" friends with them, it will put an end to the current, possibly happy status quo of that social group.

Here's my penny's worth:

As said, it could be about the platonic love - of the "best friend", where one just "clicks" really well with another person, as if they were close siblings (or seeing the possibility of that in someone you've just met).

And the older interpretation of The Lovers, is having to make a choice between two paths or "loves". From my own personal experience, I have a particular lovers card that is quite dear and also quite "cuts to the bone" for me, on this subject.
Observe the lovers card from Pagan Tarot (below).

You can see that there is a lady standing at a crossroads... the left hand path leads to her Coven or spiritual family, and the right hand path up-the-hill, leads to her biological family.
She must choose.
I had a similar situation, in which I had to say goodbye to my spiritual family and choose to concentrate on getting myself well (I was ill at the time) and making sure my family were also well (I had become depressed, following my mother's illness and recovery. I realised that I would not be able to function in the Coven for quite some time, and needed to take time-out from everything, plus I also wanted to make sure my mother was settling in well after her near-death illness. Leaving the Coven was leaving one "love" to focus on the other. I could not do both. And it was horrible, because it had taken me a long time to find that Coven and I loved it.).

Thirteen said:

Um...that's what I was talking about. The Gemini story is about twin brothers who would give their lives for each other. No sex. No romance. Just brotherly love.

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Oh, I see. Your description just sounded a lot more intimate than the scenario I'm thinking of.

Thirteen said:

I make of it a potential sisterhood where the participants will be there for each other though illness, injury, marriage, divorce, children, celebrations, achievements. Look, if you got this card for a straight, married man who was about to be police partners or a fireman with some other male acquaintance, fighting together, saving each other's lives, relying on each other,...you'd understand this Lovers card instantly as indicating the "choice" they were being given. To go from acquaintances to "brothers," from casual friends to relying on each other through thick and thin. Holmes and Watson. Kirk and Spock. Calvin and Hobbs, Bert and Ernie, Frodo and Sam, Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid.

So, switch all that over to straight females. Thelma and Louise anyone? Anna and Elsa (Frozen)? Sisters in arms. In the simplest terms, a pair who always have each other's back. But remember, the card is about choice, too. And that choice is always to separate from the herd in order to join with this person in that exclusive friendship, or to maintain the status quo. Friendships like this, very like romances, tend to isolate the two involved. So, are these two part of a larger social group? If the one woman makes the choice to get to know this acquaintance better, and maybe become "Thelma and Louise" friends with them, it will put an end to the current, possibly happy status quo of that social group.

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I can kind of see this that way. The 2 people in question don't really know each other and are separated by a fairly long distance so it seems unlikely that a very deep bond will ever form, but it's still completely plausible one sees the other as a person she could have that kind o bond with. Doesn't mean it will happen but this is just a card of impressions, not outcomes.

Tanga said:

Here's my penny's worth:

As said, it could be about the platonic love - of the "best friend", where one just "clicks" really well with another person, as if they were close siblings (or seeing the possibility of that in someone you've just met).

And the older interpretation of The Lovers, is having to make a choice between two paths or "loves". From my own personal experience, I have a particular lovers card that is quite dear and also quite "cuts to the bone" for me, on this subject.
Observe the lovers card from Pagan Tarot (below).

You can see that there is a lady standing at a crossroads... the left hand path leads to her Coven or spiritual family, and the right hand path up-the-hill, leads to her biological family.
She must choose.
I had a similar situation, in which I had to say goodbye to my spiritual family and choose to concentrate on getting myself well (I was ill at the time) and making sure my family were also well (I had become depressed, following my mother's illness and recovery. I realised that I would not be able to function in the Coven for quite some time, and needed to take time-out from everything, plus I also wanted to make sure my mother was settling in well after her near-death illness. Leaving the Coven was leaving one "love" to focus on the other. I could not do both. And it was horrible, because it had taken me a long time to find that Coven and I loved it.).

Click to expand...

That's a very pretty picture in the card. The idea of choosing between 2 families is somewhat fitting here. These are 2 people who met only a few times through mutual friends and remained in touch (mainly online) so not much more than a very basic foundation was formed but perhaps one felt that kind of spiritual connection to the other but chose to honor the path towards the biological family rather than exploring the path towards the spiritual one. So perhaps they see the person as a road not taken.