2 dreams about someone I dislike

spinnachie

I had 2 dreams in one night about a certain person that really rubs me the wrong way. Before I get into the dream I will give you some detail about the situation so that I can have some help with this ;)

My boyfriend has this friend, we will call her "X". Apparently years before he and I ever got together, he and X were going to hook up, however that never happened because she decided she didn't want to ruin the friendship (this was also after she had already dated 2 guys in their circle of friends). So they remained friends, and were quite close, they would talk everyday and hang out a few times a week...now my boyfriend and I have been together for a year...and we now live together, since he and i started dating, I have met this girl twice, once last march, and once last saturday, boyfriend has maybe seen her for coffee 2 other seperate occasions. Now, I trust my bf completley...I know he really loves me however...for some reason I really cant stand X...and as much as I would never tell my bf i don't want him to hang out with her or talk to her anymore because I do realize that my reasons for disliking her so much are most likely related to the fact that they almost had a "thing"...it still dosn't stop me from feeling the way I feel about her.
Now, i want to note that bf is free to hang out with whom ever he wishes, i have never told him how i feel about X because they are friends and I realize that my issue with X is just that, my issue, not his.

both dreams occured in the same night.
The 1st Dream: X's brother, we will call him "F", was talking to bf, and he asked him "how come you and my sister never worked out...and bf said he dosn't know but it dosn't matter anyway because he now has me and that was said in a very loving tone...

The 2nd Dream: X was over at our place, (for what it's worth she has never been to our place as Ive stated above we havent seen much of her, and also i will not allow her in our apt, bf dosn't know that because he's never talked about inviting her so i never brought it up) bf was not home so it was just me and her, for some reason in my dream there was a television on a rather tall dresser just outside the bathroom, X wanted to watch some tv and that was the tv she chose to watch. I didn't like that she chose that tv, for some reason I felt disrespected...and I told her not to watch it, she said "too bad this is the one i want to watch"...so I got extremely angry, I yelled at her and told her as long as shes in my house she will obey my rules and if she dosn't like them to get the eff out...(in the dream I used the actual word) she was taking her time leaving, and bf came home...no more words were exchanged until just before she left she said "ill call you when im home so you know i got home ok" i knew she wasn't talking to me because she dosnt have my phone number, in real life and in the dream...so i had assumed she was talking to bf, that angered me still but she left and we didnt hear from her...it was the following day, in the evening i received a call from a number i didn't recognize, in real life i never pick up those numbers, but in dream world i answered, it was X, and she said "hi i just wanted to let you know i got home ok, thanks, bye!" which struck me as odd because as ive said she didn't have my number and i told bf when i got home from wherever i was, which he thought was odd as well...

So for me I feel the first dream may just be re-affirming bf's feelings towards me...but the second dream...i don't even know where to begin...if anyone would be so kind to help out...i would greatly appreciate it!!

spin
 

Flames

You can't stand X because you feel threatened by her. You know that at one point X and your boyfriend could have dated and only didn't because she didn't want to hurt the friendship. That's what is bothering you, I believe - what if she had said yes to dating and taken the friendship further? And, they're still friends so, this is definitely bothering you. You're looking for some kind of anchor, within yourself. It actually bothers you THAT THIS IS GETTING TO YOU.

1st dream - in the back of your mind, you fear that something will break the bond between you and your boyfriend (but you're also questioning whether the bond you have with him is stronger or more special than their friendship). There's a sense of fragility. They knew each other before you came into the picture...so, that would sting a little.

2nd dream - you're trying to establish boundaries (you're afraid she'll end up in your house, your place of comfort, your secret place, your home), tell her what you can't say in the waking world, in real life and that is, "Don't mess with us. I'm here to stay. Our bond is real and true and nothing will come between us and certainly, not you!" You feel the need to express that to her because there's a fear that you'll end up second best or that you'll lose him to her. It bothers you that they know each other and that they talk and yet at the same time, you don't want to come across as petty or insecure. You can see that they're good friends and it bothers you that they're good friends. But then your mind runs with it concocting all of these scenarios of what might happen, which makes you feel even more insecure.

Telephones and communication - You're afraid of their "connection", that they're too close. You are wanting to express what's going on to your boyfriend, maybe, but you don't want him to see your insecurities. Because this isn't about her or your boyfriend, as you say. This is all about you. Has your boyfriend given you any reason to doubt him? No, right? So, you're just working things out in your dream, getting things off your chest, clearing the air, making sense of how you feel.

Television on the tall dresser and you feeling disrespected - you feel that you're losing control in your own home and you're trying to lay down the law, show her that you mean business. You want her to hear and listen to you, to "see" you, to know that you mean the world to your boyfriend. There's a sense of competition.

You want her to see your worth in your boyfriend's life. I think that's what these dreams are about, and that your relationship is unique and special and that you are truly the one he loves and wants to be with.

Hope this helps.

Yay, we're both Torontonians!! :)
 

spinnachie

You can't stand X because you feel threatened by her. You know that at one point X and your boyfriend could have dated and only didn't because she didn't want to hurt the friendship. That's what is bothering you, I believe - what if she had said yes to dating and taken the friendship further? And, they're still friends so, this is definitely bothering you. You're looking for some kind of anchor, within yourself. It actually bothers you THAT THIS IS GETTING TO YOU.

It is definately bothering me, I have tried to convince myself that it wasn't for the past year but after seeing her and knowing that they still text and such it actually irritates me...I do feel threatened but a part of me dosn't want to admit it because that very same part knows that there is nothing going on, so I feel silly for it even being a problem.

1st dream - in the back of your mind, you fear that something will break the bond between you and your boyfriend (but you're also questioning whether the bond you have with him is stronger or more special than their friendship). There's a sense of fragility. They knew each other before you came into the picture...so, that would sting a little.

Yes, I do fear that because of past relationships I was given a reason to feel that way. Past relationships have sort of given me a complex, and I sort of start to notice patterns in all the relationships...I do also fear the bond between us may not be as strong as their friendship, and I won't dare put it to the test.

2nd dream - you're trying to establish boundaries (you're afraid she'll end up in your house, your place of comfort, your secret place, your home), tell her what you can't say in the waking world, in real life and that is, "Don't mess with us. I'm here to stay. Our bond is real and true and nothing will come between us and certainly, not you!" You feel the need to express that to her because there's a fear that you'll end up second best or that you'll lose him to her. It bothers you that they know each other and that they talk and yet at the same time, you don't want to come across as petty or insecure. You can see that they're good friends and it bothers you that they're good friends. But then your mind runs with it concocting all of these scenarios of what might happen, which makes you feel even more insecure.

I am definately trying to establish boundries, for the simple reason that I can't control who he speaks to or is friends with so I feel as though I have to have some sort of control somewhere, and the only place I can have that control is in my own home. I don't want to come across as insecure because one of the things he loves about me is my confidence so I dont want him to see that side of me.

Telephones and communication - You're afraid of their "connection", that they're too close. You are wanting to express what's going on to your boyfriend, maybe, but you don't want him to see your insecurities. Because this isn't about her or your boyfriend, as you say. This is all about you. Has your boyfriend given you any reason to doubt him? No, right? So, you're just working things out in your dream, getting things off your chest, clearing the air, making sense of how you feel.

I do want to tell him, because I don't believe that we should have secrets, especially something like this that can potentially cause resentment, it already has caused resentment towards X but that dosn't bother me so much because I don't care to get to know her, I just don't want it to cause trouble with bf. No he hasn't given me any reason to doubt him, or to even question him. Which may even be one of the problems...I never feel like I have a window of opportunity to bring up the X situation even as a casual conversation.

Television on the tall dresser and you feeling disrespected - you feel that you're losing control in your own home and you're trying to lay down the law, show her that you mean business. You want her to hear and listen to you, to "see" you, to know that you mean the world to your boyfriend. There's a sense of competition.
You want her to see your worth in your boyfriend's life. I think that's what these dreams are about, and that your relationship is unique and special and that you are truly the one he loves and wants to be with.
Hope this helps.

Yay, we're both Torontonians!! :)

Yes I do feel as though I am competing, I don't feel that she is competing though because I don't think she is aware of anything that is going on inside of me. I definately do want her to see that our relationship is more to him then their friendship...catty ..I know but it's the truth ;)

Thank you Flames for that interpretation, the dream I had has basically been confirming everything that I have been feeling, or thinking and you interpreted it so perfectly!! It's almost as if you were in my brain taking notes of what was happening before I even posted this thread!!!

and also yes! yes we are! I'm more in the Port credit area (lakeshore west), I just moved in Nov. from yonge and eggy :)
 

Briar Rose

2 dreams about someone you dislike is called a nightmare, honey!