Destructive Tarot Habits

Hi
I have been guilty of this as well. However i find it harsh to tell someone that their question is not valid because at the time that question is of the utmost importance to them. The readings i received were part of the problem and part of the solution in my case. If divination wouldn't have been in my life, i believe i would have left X ages ago. But through my own self reflection, I was able to start 'living' again and my relationship with the cards is now a healthy one.

What i am NOT a fan of is if the person is posting on each and every thread imaginable and then they ask me for a reading. I feel that my response and insights will mean nothing to them. I spend time on my readings and knowing that the person just doesn't give a shit, well i don't want to put the effort into it.
All in all though, i think people get addicted to readings like a junkie to heroin. Therefore i think human compassion is key, but i have had to turn people away that have pm'd me for more readings and admit to suicidal thoughts. I can't put myself into those situations anymore as they are too draining, so i don't go in the reading exchanges anymore but will do some via PM for those people i hold close to my heart ♥

DownUnderNZer said:

I suppose LOVE is the key function to all kinds of relationships , but I would be more concerned about what the "other person" is going to get out of it. I, for one, would be wary if I found out my other half spent 6 months behind a PC screen asking every question under the sun about me after the first meeting to see if I WAS THE ONE, DOES S/HE STILL LOVE ME, WHAT IS S/HE THINKING etc etc etc.

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LOL! Totally agree! How creepy would that be? Let's see...

"So, I love hockey - "
" I know!"
"And tennis - "
"You play every week, right?"
"Uh...yeah, I do. And I I love football-"
"I know that too!"
"Uh...ok. Did you know I broke my ankle playing when I was 5 and -"
"And your Dad said your England career was over before it even started, ha ha! Ah, but he's a big kidder isn't he?"

DownUnderNZer said:

Also, to go from one reader to 10 other readers for clarification, a different answer, and/or because her/his one minute fix is waning is bordering on an "addiction".

Practice readings are a good way to learn, but not if a person is not learning and it becomes a daily fix.

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Agreed, and for some it is obsession/addiction. Too much of anything isn't a good thing. Just ask the women who became addicted to carrots.

pluto'sapprentice258 said:

LOL! Totally agree! How creepy would that be? Let's see...

"So, I love hockey - "
" I know!"
"And tennis - "
"You play every week, right?"
"Uh...yeah, I do. And I I love football-"
"I know that too!"
"Uh...ok. Did you know I broke my ankle playing when I was 5 and -"
"And your Dad said your England career was over before it even started, ha ha! Ah, but he's a big kidder isn't he?"





Agreed, and for some it is obsession/addiction. Too much of anything isn't a good thing. Just ask the women who became addicted to carrots.

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OMG!! You are too funny! i loved your little skit lol! It's true though, don't we owe people some form of respect? I have asked before how sex would be with a certain someone, but seriously how i would like it if I knew someone was judging my performance with the cards?? I would not be a happy camper! ! Thanks for posting this it's made me reflect on my own previous behavior and lack thereof of respect to others.

ravenest said:

Thats what I meant. The Osho stuff should be self evident.

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Perhaps it is self-evident I was struggling with the wording of your post is all, I should have been clearer on that.

ravenest said:

Sometimes I am tempted to give such a crazy reading like that it will expose it.

But 'Bhagwan Rajneesh / Osho' tried that .... wow! Talk about a backfire!

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When I followed the link I was expecting to see a reading, possibly with an Osho Zen deck.

Farzon said:

At first I have to say I read for myself most if the times. And I also experienced addiction to certain questions... Some things in life are just so important to us and they trends to get too important. Then you ask again and again and keep looking for the answer you hope for (our the answer you fear, which, in my case, was the same thing).

I don't do that anymore. As you stated, Pluto, Tarot ifs a great tool for self development and it shouldn't be limited to a mere reinsurance that everything is alright. One has to let go of the hope for security in life, because this wish will never be granted - Pantha Rei.... Everything is in a constant state of flux.

Having said that, every now and then love, work, the family etc. will play an unusually important role in our lives. It's poetry much ok to ask the tarot then, but not if it becomes an obsession.

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I think most of us will have fallen into that trap, Farzon, at one time or another. It's so easy to do! The lifeline one needs to get out of it is their own sense of objectivity and self-control. I love reading for myself but I don't do it often, and only when I need to. I've learned how to be objective when reading for myself, but I have to say that I trained myself to go into a slightly altered place than I would reading for someone else, so that I could be objective enough to interpret the cards. I read somewhere that it wasn't advisable to read cards for yourself when you're a beginner, but I had no choice, so I did my best to make it work for me.

So true what you say about flux. There is nothing consistent in life except change. I often say this.

Kristyjnh said:

I only recently started reading for others online, so I haven't experienced repeat questions, but I have encountered people asking for readings who clearly needed something more than a Tarot reader can provide. Like, who really needed to talk to a professional and not me, which puts me into the position of making myself the bad guy and telling them as much, hoping they'll pursue help, or making myself the next best thing and being a temporary lifeline. I don't want to be the last straw that drive somebody over the edge, but I also don't want to be the reason they don't seek help, you know?

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Hi Kristy,

You're lucky not to have had repeat questions. Check out other reading threads if you haven't - you'll see all your regulars there, armed with their perennial questions.

You're right, some people need more than a reading. These poor souls probably don't know or can't accept they need help, or they're afraid to seek it for whatever reason (financial, social, professional reasons) so they come here, thinking that a 'psychic' will have the answer, or some message of hope. Adults are responsible for their own choices, and this includes seeking the relative help when they need it. It's great to offer readings for people though just be on guard, people may try to take advantage of you. I was being bombarded with such depressing messages from a lady once, and admittedly she was having issues, but most of what she said was hyperbole, in an attempt to gee me along to help because she was so 'desperate'.

Remember also, you're only ever getting one side of any story here. And as an esoteric community we attract some pretty kooky folk.

DownUnderNZer said:

I suppose LOVE is the key function to all kinds of relationships , but I would be more concerned about what the "other person" is going to get out of it. I, for one, would be wary if I found out my other half spent 6 months behind a PC screen asking every question under the sun about me after the first meeting to see if I WAS THE ONE, DOES S/HE STILL LOVE ME, WHAT IS S/HE THINKING etc etc etc.

Fair enough if in one reading it is brought up by chance, but "relentless questions" on "IS THIS THE ONE" is like a sign of major insecurity, self doubts and someone that craves to be loved.

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I have had that from someone who is a reader themselves? I had to tell them to stop and they haven't spoken to me for a while.

starburst_au said:

Do I think it's healthy that I choose to ask similar questions about specific relationships in my life, no I don't. I acknowledge that. However, the process involved, and people who do read for me on the forum, have shed light on the relationship and have sparked self reflection.

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It sounds to me as if you've sought readings in a fairly healthy capacity and used them to nurture yourself and grow. Nothing wrong with that.

starburst_au said:

Not to criticise your post, because I do think it's a very valid topic to raise on the forum, however readers have the choice to say no, I don't think answering anymore questions about "x" is going to be beneficial for you.

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There's always someone else to ask though, if they really want that question answered. I think offering a reading using an alternative question is better, one with more scope that actually helps the sitter. It comes down to the intelligence/awareness of the reader and the compliance of the sitter.

starburst_au said:

I'm quite thankful for all the readings that i've had from various people on the forum to spark that self reflection, self development, to acknowledge self love and worth in my life and i'm slowly coming to the conclusion that some relationships in my life are toxic.

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Could you not see that they were toxic before you received the readings?

Farzon said:

I think reading for yourself works better with serial questions. Having readings done on one topic over and over again can show, how obsessed one is with a topic, maybe to a degree one hasn't even been aware of.

But of you read for yourself, with the time you will recognize what you're looking for. In the act of reading one can get an insight to ones own personality, when wer think about the "why"we are interpreting the cards this way.

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Some people don't have the objectivity for this, Farzon. They project their desired outcome onto the cards and mis-interpret them. This is dangerous because it deludes the reader and attaches inaccurate feelings to certain symbols and archetypes. The whole deck can become too subjective, because each card is connected to a person/event/place.

Personally, I don't really think there are any reasons for panic. I think AT is great for providing an opportunity to share free readings because it not only helps readers to develop their reading skills but it also allows sitters to develop their 'sitting' skills. For me, the Reading Exchange Forum here is first and foremost a learning space, and as such it provides a free and non-aggressive environment to make mistakes, many of them, for both readers and sitters.

And yes, as much as I, as a reader, would like to see all my sitters magically change their views and develop in only one reading, it simply won't happen. People are people. They change their attitudes gradually, over time, and they might need those 240 readings or more to help them understand something crucial, something that will eventually make them happy, - but can we say that only the last reading was helpful and those 239 ones before it were futile?

A grain of salt included.