Icky feeling when potential Readers suss out your previous questions?

euripides

Personally, I sometimes take a look at a sitter's history to give myself some context, and that's to do with the way that I view how Tarot works. It's not a magical window onto the universe's secrets, but a window into my own subconscious. So I need something of a 'where is this person coming from'.

As for asking repeated questions - fine up to a point, but remember that a forum is kind of a conversation, and in any conversation, it gets pretty boring if someone asks the same question or chimes in with the same story you've heard ten times already. And in close succession, it seems rude to the person who read for you.

In individual reading forums that's not such an issue; I know I tend to circle back to the same concerns, because I regularly feel a bit 'stuck' in life.

In shared threads (such as the 'one card, one sentence' game) it's really a little inconsiderate to keep asking the same thing.

There are some really wise people on this forum. Not only card-reading wisdom, but life wisdom, and it frustrates me to see people close off their ears and ignore their advice. I wish I'd had their counsel when I was younger - it would have saved me much pain.
 

Tanga

This:

Bonny, this is a public forum.. It is not stalking if you read someone's posts every day, that's the nature of posting on and reading a forum.

People are quite within their rights to refuse to read for someone if that person has asked the same question of other readers time and time again...
…It's meant to be a learning forum, not an agony aunt forum where you come to get readings, we're all supposed to be learning..

… If I see that person asking the same thing over a long period of time, I just figure they're still seeking satisfaction or closure of some kind. What I usually wonder is why they haven't done anything with the answers they already received (often many times before). I stop contributing since I figure they have issues tarot can't help them with.


Bonny I am so sorry that you have been hurt. :(


And - I do believe the reader should have the right to read through a sitters past threads (as this is an open forum) and make their own decisions on that basis. Best perhaps - if they’d not given a reason maybe…or might have managed a way to say things softly. But this is sometimes tricky (and in some cases sugar coating).


If the querent is repeatedly asking the same question - it is no longer to learn (I've done it myself consciously) - it is because the querent is stuck-in-a-rutt and at some wall-of-desperation to find a choice that is more palatable than what they've got available.
The querent - IS in upset.
And for the reader - it can be an energetically draining/frustrating experience…Upsetting too.
Difficult waters to navigate.


There's a spread for that :) "Finding the Pattern for repeating questions"...
If only I can find it now...

:livelong:
 

zhadee

To you in this matter I think it's off, Zhadee.
I think your method of operating in this regard is off.

The 'appear' Term is the key one I think.

We don't see things as they are. We see them as we are.

Presuming the person wants a particular answer is impuning to them and arrogant of the Reader.
It took me a while to calm down and answer this one. Learning about your demanding attitude towards the reader, Bonny, has left me with a sinking feeling nearly all day long.

When I was a semi-professional reader, and people paid a lot of money talking to me, I've read on every question they've ever asked me. It was their time, their money, and so I did as requested. Doing so was exhausting, destroyed my love for cards, despite me knowing that rent needs to be paid.

But I don't get paid to do readings on AT, Bonny. I may pick and choose which question I'll read, and I was kind enough to let you know the reason why instead of simply skipping you. =)
 

Rose Lalonde

I just wanted to throw in that I completely support readers when you decide not to read on a question. I know you're well within forum rules, and I have zero expectations that posts I make on a public forum will not, or somehow should not, be read by you or inform your decisions.

I think it bears repeating that the rules in the reading forums state that the reader can choose to grant a reading request, or choose not to.

This is a public forum. No-one has to post here if they want a private reading..

...this is a public forum.. It is not stalking if you read someone's posts every day, that's the nature of posting on and reading a forum.

Thanks for these reminders.
 

DownUnderNZer

I do know what you mean about "demanding".

When I first came back in 2011 I think it was - I use to get PMS left, right , and centre asking this and that about readings. Follow up questions etc. Stalkerish behavior, but that soon came to an end as I learnt not to answer.

And sometimes when a reading was done a sitter would just go for gold when really speaking it should have been just feedback. This mostly happened in my earlier days, but a few time since as well.


Example:

"Thank you so much for the reading. Do you see us together in the future? Do you see us getting married? Are we soul mates?

And guess what? The reading indicated that it was "over" not a "happening future". Put in a very clear way - not in a way to put that person down.

So, sometimes sitters to "not accept" what the answer is and they continue to "push" by "demanding more" by "asking more".

Boundaries are important and that is why I like the AT rules for "readers" as it really does put a stop to that kind of nonsense and keeps the flow of this website.

It is not about "judging", but not wasting time, energy, and effort.


DND :)


It took me a while to calm down and answer this one. Learning about your demanding attitude towards the reader, Bonny, has left me with a sinking feeling nearly all day long.

When I was a semi-professional reader, and people paid a lot of money talking to me, I've read on every question they've ever asked me. It was their time, their money, and so I did as requested. Doing so was exhausting, destroyed my love for cards, despite me knowing that rent needs to be paid.

But I don't get paid to do readings on AT, Bonny. I may pick and choose which question I'll read, and I was kind enough to let you know the reason why instead of simply skipping you. =)
 

think

It took me a while to calm down and answer this one. Learning about your demanding attitude towards the reader, Bonny, has left me with a sinking feeling nearly all day long.

When I was a semi-professional reader, and people paid a lot of money talking to me, I've read on every question they've ever asked me. It was their time, their money, and so I did as requested. Doing so was exhausting, destroyed my love for cards, despite me knowing that rent needs to be paid.

But I don't get paid to do readings on AT, Bonny. I may pick and choose which question I'll read, and I was kind enough to let you know the reason why instead of simply skipping you. =)

You are absolutely lovely zhadee. One of the sweetest, kindest, wisest and most witty people here. I love reading your posts just for themselves. I doubt anyone could be disgruntled with you :heart:
 

Bonny

It took me a while to calm down and answer this one. Learning about your demanding attitude towards the reader, Bonny, has left me with a sinking feeling nearly all day long.

When I was a semi-professional reader, and people paid a lot of money talking to me, I've read on every question they've ever asked me. It was their time, their money, and so I did as requested. Doing so was exhausting, destroyed my love for cards, despite me knowing that rent needs to be paid.

But I don't get paid to do readings on AT, Bonny. I may pick and choose which question I'll read, and I was kind enough to let you know the reason why instead of simply skipping you. =)

Hi Zhadee,

Thanks for writing back.

I have a real awe and respect as to the crystal clarity of your readings, I deeply appreciate your generosity, not just in the reading sessions, but there have been several times when your beautiful courage and soulfulness has gone the extra mile to help your Sitters see things. (That they're not seeing...)

I am sorry my communication led to you feeling heavy & upset.

The point I am trying to make is not about Readers having to read for anyone who requests it.
My post has as its title 'icky feeling when Readers ...' go through your previous dialogues with other Readers & publicly judge you on the basis of it! . That's what I am reacting to, the stalking feeling in that.

I hope by now it is clear, this AT member is not in the way of demanding readings.

To the contrary, I am protesting that the Readings in which we have partaken are scrutinised then used by a subsequent potential Reader in a judging tone. Zhards, that kind of thing is just not ok in my world. Why would we post questions at all if they are likely to become the etching ground of uninvited parties, bent on controlling their patch by lobbing insulting judgements at the unsuspecting Sitter.

You asked me what I would say and I said it to you clearly. That yuck feeling since I replied Dear Girl is fairly akin to the yuck feeling Sitters get when they're judged this way or that on the basis of their raw sharing.

Hope this helps clear that up!

Bless you & yer cotton sox!!!!!!

Bonny x
 

CrystalSeas

I'm not sure I understand your position

On one hand you seem to be saying that no one should use public behavior as a criterion for whether or not they will interact with a sitter.

Or are you saying that it's ok if someone remembers the behavior, but it's not ok to go back and look at the public posts if they haven't read the forum every day?
 

Dogs&Coffee

Aaaaaaaaaand this is precisely why I want out of customer service so very badly.
 

Bonny

I'm not sure I understand your position

On one hand you seem to be saying that no one should use public behavior as a criterion for whether or not they will interact with a sitter.

Or are you saying that it's ok if someone remembers the behavior, but it's not ok to go back and look at the public posts if they haven't read the forum every day?


It's not strictly one or the other Crystalsea.

I'm not sure I understand what you're saying either.

My question is :

Does the action of potential Readers whereby they go back over your own reading exchanges with other Readers and then comment in condemning ways towards you about you & your reading exchange conduct make you uneasy?

Hope this helps clarify!

Bonny