Understanding another person

Alta

Wow!!! Thank you all, I have been out all day and came back to find these awesome replies. This will be helpful. I have actually gotten to the point where he couldn't give me the time of day without my feeling annoyed. So not good, and I love my sister (and she loves him) so I have to find a way.
 

Sentient

Alta, I'm replying late, but I assume your issue is still relevant.

By far the best way I've found to understand perplexing people is via Jungian psychological types (Thinking, Feeling, Sensing, Intuiting). People who are the opposite type to ourselves strike us as exactly backward in their priorities and values. Because we all encounter people like this it's very useful to get a grip on where they're coming from, but their seemingly alien approach to life leaves us lost as to how to understand them.

As an example, people who are very logical often repress, ignore or otherwise do poorly with emotions. Emotional people often have great difficulty doing the smart, rational thing if it feels wrong to them. These two types would clash from the start and have little chance of working together productively if they had no understanding of the opposite function.

I'd be surprised if study in this area didn't provide some of the answers you're looking for.