9 of Pentacles as someone's desires in a relationship

Miradeck

Grizabella said:
I'm glad I gave you some added insight.

Don't forget that little bitty snail in the foreground in the Rider Waite deck. It's self-contained and self-sufficient.

I've always told the women I've sponsored in my 12 step program "If you NEED a man, then the last thing you really need is a man." The reason for that is that when we feel this aching, frantic search for a relationship, then that's when we're the least suited to enter a relationship. If we can grow in self-esteem and self love so we don't NEED a partner, that's when the right one will enter our lives.

ETA: It's off topic, but this month on the 5th I had my 32nd anniversary of sobriety.

I'm fully with you on this, when you stop searching and start being comfortable in your own skin, that's when things slowly fall in place. Thanks

IndigoWaves

Miradeck said:
From your description it sounds almost like the chase is more delightful than the end result and once the prey is captured, the chase ends and so does the interest.

That can happen, yes, if she actually wants the prey; the card doesn't say whether or not she does. She may never let it be more than an option before her, as she's feeling very leisurely about it all... Nowhere near being driven mad by lust or having an emotional flood, though her suitor(s) may very well be -- and if she picks up on it, she's more likely to decide, "Thanks, but no thanks", not getting into drama. There is a relatively indifferent, "could take it or leave it" feel to this card, overall. She won't let herself get ruffled either way, whatever she decides.

Miradeck

IndigoWaves said:
There is a relatively indifferent, "take it or leave it" feel to this card, overall. She won't let herself get ruffled either way, whatever she decides.

Good summary here - indifference is the key word.
Self sufficient, no real desires, can live without, no real commitment, personal space are some of the key highlights I'm picking from this discussion. It doesn't feel like there will be much emotions invested in this card and it seems as though it's a very casual thing...

Miradeck

When 9 of Pents is the desire and 6 of Cups is the outcome

I'm adding one more card for more perspective. The 9/Pents was the desire someone has for a relationship and the outcome was a 6/Cups. Does this help narrow down the meaning 9/Pents might have given that 6/Cups seem to be a friendly card, portraying reunions of nostalgia, happy friendships, good emotions etc.?

Grizabella

Thirteen tells us that the 6 of Cups means "known joy". In other words, the joyous, warm, loving feeling we've experienced before and want to experience more of. I think it's a card that fits extremely well with the 9 of Pentacles as what someone wants in a relationship. I can't imagine a more beautiful relationship for going through life together as stand-alone, self-sufficient people than to add the "known joy" you continue to share and want more of as you journey through life, can you? It's wonderful to be the partner of someone who isn't clingy and needy and yet who desires to be with you because of the "known joy" you find together in each other's presence.

IndigoWaves

Miradeck said:
The 9/Pents was the desire someone has for a relationship and the outcome was a 6/Cups. Does this help narrow down the meaning 9/Pents might have given that 6/Cups seem to be a friendly card, portraying reunions of nostalgia, happy friendships, good emotions etc.?

The 6C here seems to show the querent repeatedly making caring gestures and emotion-based offerings to the 9P person... Which may be received politely enough, even deemed "sweet", thoughtful, etc.... But as an 'Outcome', it's very possible that things won't go further than that if they haven't already; I've seen more than one connection stall on this level and eventually fade into memory when seemingly promising 6Cs appeared. If the querent isn't seeking more from the 9P person than he's already getting now, that's one thing -- but if he is, the 6C doesn't mean that his actions will bring desired "returns".

It seems possible that the 9P person, so smoothly in control, finds the querent rather "innocent" and vulnerable (6C); if she has had interest in a casual, purely physical involvement, she may wisely suspect that he wouldn't have enough detachment for it. Meanwhile, her low-key self-containedness can make her very difficult to read (especially if H.P. energy is also involved)... So, if there is no interest on her part, or none that she really intends to pursue, she may not be making this known clearly and directly enough for him to clue-in: Avoiding a blow to his apparent sensitivity, but unfortunately leading him on in the process... From his viewpoint, anyway, though even then, he may just keep trying. (Turning down a Cupsy person can feel like kicking a loving and very persistent puppy, so if subtle brush-offs don't work then some form of avoidance, even "ghosting", could eventually be used.)

Miradeck

Warm joyous union with independent souls

Grizabella said:
Thirteen tells us that the 6 of Cups means "known joy". In other words, the joyous, warm, loving feeling we've experienced before and want to experience more of. It's wonderful to be the partner of someone who isn't clingy and needy and yet who desires to be with you because of the "known joy" you find together in each other's presence.

This is such a beautiful and positive explanation of the cards. One can only wish this is what the cards are trying to portray

Given that the other surrounding card relating to the state of the relationship is also a cup, I suppose there are more positive emotions that one would like to relinquish rather than being standoffish on the relationship. Thank you Grizabella.

p/s: I have shared the whole spread on Your Readings forum chat and would be very interested to hear your interpretations if you have time to comment. Thanks.

https://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=274657

Miradeck

Alternative perspective

IndigoWaves said:
The 6C here seems to show the querent repeatedly making caring gestures and emotion-based offerings to the 9P person... Which may be received politely enough, even deemed "sweet", thoughtful, etc.... But as an 'Outcome', it's very possible that things won't go further than that if they haven't already; I've seen more than one connection stall on this level and eventually fade into memory when seemingly promising 6Cs appeared. If the querent isn't seeking more from the 9P person than he's already getting now, that's one thing -- but if he is, the 6C doesn't mean that his actions will bring desired "returns".

I think this is an interesting perspective, although due to another cups in the reading I tend to view it in a more positive angle. As in, the relationship looks like it's in a meditative state right now but the 9P person could be looking at getting back those warm familiar emotions they used to enjoy, but not without some clear communication (swords in the spread).

IndigoWaves said:
It seems possible that the 9P person, so smoothly in control, finds the querent rather "innocent" and vulnerable (6C); if she has had interest in a casual, purely physical involvement, she may wisely suspect that he wouldn't have enough detachment for it. Meanwhile, her low-key self-containedness can make her very difficult to read (especially if H.P. energy is also involved)... So, if there is no interest on her part, or none that she really intends to pursue, she may not be making this known clearly and directly enough for him to clue-in: Avoiding a blow to his apparent sensitivity, but unfortunately leading him on in the process... From his viewpoint, anyway, though even then, he may just keep trying. (Turning down a Cupsy person can feel like kicking a loving and very persistent puppy, so if subtle brush-offs don't work then some form of avoidance, even "ghosting", could eventually be used.)

The 6C is the outcome, but not necessarily describing the other party? From the various positions, I don't see the 9P person viewing the other party as a Cups. But again, your explanation here could be valid as there is certain self-containedness in the 9P individual, making her difficult to read and at the same time as both are co-workers, there is certain sensitivities in making a move. But no, the H.P did not appear on this particular spread.

If I may share the whole reading, it is listed on "Your Readings" forum under this url and perhaps put more clarity into these individual cards. I would be most happy to hear your interpretations on the spread if you will share your experience. Thanks IndigoWaves.
https://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=274657

IndigoWaves

Miradeck said:
The 6C is the outcome, but not necessarily describing the other party? From the various positions, I don't see the 9P person viewing the other party as a Cups.

I'm actually seeing both people in the 6C: "him" as the person offering Cups and "her" as the person receiving them... I'm also now recalling the recent reading of yours about two Cups cards (which I won't name/interpret here as it may trigger a forum rule)... And looking over the 12-card reading linked above, there's an especially telling Cup in the "How I relate to the other party" position... So, if "she" hasn't been making any emotional moves/attempts to get closer, while "he" has been doing readings and pining over her, etc., then it seems a reasonable assumption that he is the most Cupsy person in this scenario (even if he's momentarily paused his approach to regroup -- due to a lack of expected response/little or no reciprocation, perhaps).

Miradeck

IndigoWaves said:
I'm actually seeing both people in the 6C: "him" as the person offering Cups and "her" as the person receiving them... I'm also now recalling the recent reading of yours about two Cups cards (which I won't name/interpret here as it may trigger a forum rule)... And looking over the 12-card reading linked above, there's an especially telling Cup in the "How I relate to the other party" position... So, if "she" hasn't been making any emotional moves/attempts to get closer, while "he" has been doing readings and pining over her, etc., then it seems a reasonable assumption that he is the most Cupsy person in this scenario (even if he's momentarily paused his actions to regroup -- due to a lack of expected response/little or no reciprocation, perhaps).

I see where you're coming from. Indeed, "he" is more emotional than "Her" from the cards and from the readings but whether "she" sees "him" as a Cups person is not exactly reflected from the spread - that's what I meant. Or maybe I'm too junior in my reading skills to see the connection between cards/ spreads.

Distance and travels seem to be a challenging aspect on this relationship, be it romantic or not. I see friendliness and warm engagement whenever the opportunity arises but both parties are not "communicating" out loud due to various considerations. In short there are some undercurrents which are being ignored.