"The Devil" as the solution to a problem?

decan said:

I thought concerning the Devil card as a solution and what you said, and the problem in my opinion is that there is no solution with this card.
An interpretation, not the best maybe (or not the most comforting, unfortunately), could be that in the short term you will not overcome what blocks you.

Therefore let go for the moment and breathe.

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Thank you for your honesty, but I'm not about to believe there's no solution. Things may look bad, I'll give you that. However, I refuse to believe in the possibility that I will not succeed in overcoming what blocks me in the near future. Anyway, I do respect your opinion. I'm just not going to stop looking for a way to overcome my problem.

Lerena said:

@gregory: I don't quite understand your interpretation. Are you saying that I'm not as focused as I could be? Can you elaborate or phrase that differently, please?

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Yes, exactly. You can need extreme focus to write, I think - and if you don't, it may not work out as you want and then you lose the joy of it.

My SO is a poet and if he is interrupted or let's his concentration slip, he loses it - then he gets very frustrated and however hard he tries cannot get it back - and then he loses the pleasure he was having.

It was just a thought which may or may not fit, but when I think of the devil, obsession is the first thing that comes to mind.

And when you say later that it is across the board - that even suggests being spread too thinly, if that makes sense.

As it seems you have access to good professional resources, I'll share a couple of quotes.

The soul is struggling to find expression. For Jung the mystery of this process is in integration of the devil, the discovery and acceptance of our shadow, our personal chaos. Thus, chaos cannot be avoided, indeed the more we turn away from chaos, the stronger its pull on us. Depression is that pull into darkness, affording us the interior spatial and temporal reality to make a connection, to integrate the devil.
-Jeffrey T. Kiehl. "The Phenomenological Experience of Depression". 8 Mar 2005.

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One does not become enlightened by imagining figures of light, but by making the darkness conscious. -Carl Jung. Alchemical Studies, CW13, par 335.

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@Sentient: Those quotes are interesting, but they aren't very helpful since I don't understand them that well. What are they supposed to be saying? In simplest terms, of course. My emotional state is ruining my ability to think straight.

gregory said:

Yes, exactly. You can need extreme focus to write, I think - and if you don't, it may not work out as you want and then you lose the joy of it.

My SO is a poet and if he is interrupted or let's his concentration slip, he loses it - then he gets very frustrated and however hard he tries cannot get it back - and then he loses the pleasure he was having.

It was just a thought which may or may not fit, but when I think of the devil, obsession is the first thing that comes to mind.

And when you say later that it is across the board - that even suggests being spread too thinly, if that makes sense.

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Part of the issue may be that I had to work on an essay the entire time I was last inspired. Maybe that interrupted what could have been an otherwise good flow. I'm not being spread too thin. I'm focused. Just, nothing is coming out that I like.

Lerena said:

Thank you for your honesty, but I'm not about to believe there's no solution. Things may look bad, I'll give you that. However, I refuse to believe in the possibility that I will not succeed in overcoming what blocks me in the near future. Anyway, I do respect your opinion. I'm just not going to stop looking for a way to overcome my problem.

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Naturally to refuse a negative status quo! I understand this perfectly!!
I am not sure that it is an opinion, I would say just a possible interpretation, among others, as well possible, therefore not a definitive truth.
Other comments that you have had are quite interesting and relevant, so from my part I would say to be patient and kind with yourself.

The Devil is a demon, with regard to a solution that would be directly connected to this card I would say to drive away inner demons and external negativity, or else to connect strongly with your Daemon! But I don't think that the personal Daemon is depicted in the Devil card. Well I could be wrong.

My brain thinks in backwards ways sometimes. I journal - a lot. Partially because I don't have a "bestie" to vent to right now, at least not one that I can call and hang out with just because.

Anyway, do you have an outlet to have a bi**h fest with? The devil never comes up as a positive for me, but maybe you need to do something "sinful" to get past it. Whether that's reading a very dirty novel, going out & staying out late doing a indulgent bar ( for bar food & loud music - if you're on meds I'm sure you have restrictions on booze).

Also, some meds make me very apathetic, emotionally flat. Especially hard since I react very badly to ssri's. But meds are a devil I have to deal with. So the devil could be linked to a medicine. Just because you have to be tethered to something you shouldn't have to be trapped by it. You should be able to bring it with you on creative journeys.

Read up on what you're taking and things you might be able to take. Everything has an insane side effect list and most mention that if symptoms come back or get worse to seek help quickly.

Song line:"don't ever tame your demon, but keep it on a leash" from Aresonists Lullaby

violetdaisy said:

Anyway, do you have an outlet to have a bi**h fest with? The devil never comes up as a positive for me, but maybe you need to do something "sinful" to get past it. Whether that's reading a very dirty novel, going out & staying out late doing a indulgent bar ( for bar food & loud music - if you're on meds I'm sure you have restrictions on booze).

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I don't have a reliable outlet for expressing my feelings period and it's because I never feel like people care about how I feel. When I try to get advice online, certain portions of my posts tend to be ignored or misinterpreted. Additionally, being called "whiny" makes me close up more, and even if people don't always say it, sometimes the way a post comes across says that to me.

The most recent example of my feelings being shut down is when my psychiatrist addressed my complaint about my inconsistent energy levels by saying, "Yea, that's been going on for a while now," and proceeding to suggest nothing about how to fix it. Unfortunately, now I'm dealing with near uncontrollable rage. Next time I see him, I will be more forward about needing help with my poor energy levels considering how they're severely impacting my mental health and this morning I called my psychiatrist's office to ask about coming in earlier.

I do have restrictions on alcoholic beverages, but I don't like alcohol anyway. I don't even like soda beverages or coffee.

If doing something "sinful" is the solution, I might have to brush up on my knowledge of "sinful" acts outside of the 7 deadly sins.

violetdaisy said:

Also, some meds make me very apathetic, emotionally flat. Especially hard since I react very badly to ssri's. But meds are a devil I have to deal with. So the devil could be linked to a medicine. Just because you have to be tethered to something you shouldn't have to be trapped by it. You should be able to bring it with you on creative journeys.

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Probably not medication-related. My medications are working as they should be. The only problem is they may not be strong enough at their current doses.

violetdaisy said:

Read up on what you're taking and things you might be able to take. Everything has an insane side effect list and most mention that if symptoms come back or get worse to seek help quickly.y

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My symptoms are coming back, but I could just be dealing with an especially awful situation that would require stronger medication to manage properly. Based on what little I've found, I could be dealing with the results of long-term chronic stress. I don't know when the stress started building. It just looks like this month was the final trigger before I noticed it. I'm definitely trying to seek help before things get too bad. I just hope my psychiatrist is able to see me quickly enough. I mean, I'm trying my hardest to control my temper. I just don't know how long until I can't do it anymore.

At least I'm reasonably confident that my psychiatrist will listen to me next time I see him. it is, after all, his job to treat mental illnesses, and with my depression coming back alongside some extremely powerful anger, I'm sure he wouldn't want to just brush me off like he did before.

I hope your psych. will listen to you this time and not brush you off. I hope I didn't come across badly. I don't think you're whining. And yes, sometimes an increase (in dose) is needed more than a decrease. Energy levels can be a really debilitating issue. And sometimes you have to let yourself get really upset (angry) in the presence of the professional you're trusting to help you. Perhaps you may really act out to n front of him and he'll realize that despite your efforts and you doing your part he needs to pay more attention. That could be the answer the Devil is trying to get at. Sometimes psychs have become kinda numb except to extremes.

There are a lot of options out there for treatment. It's not one size fits all in whatever category they've placed you in. Professionals can lose sight of that.

(Ps. I put sinful in quotations because i was trying to get at being really indulgent, not actual sins - again, sorry if the words came across badly)

violetdaisy said:

And sometimes you have to let yourself get really upset (angry) in the presence of the professional you're trusting to help you. Perhaps you may really act out to n front of him and he'll realize that despite your efforts and you doing your part he needs to pay more attention. That could be the answer the Devil is trying to get at. Sometimes psychs have become kinda numb except to extremes.

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I've thought about this several times in the past, but each time I considered it I always calmed down before I could act on my decision to at least sound a little angry in front of my psychiatrist. In fact, the last time I saw him, I was really angry, but I probably came across like I was doing well.

The problem, I think, is that the extremes are more likely to stand out as opposed to someone with a mental illness that can control themselves. If someone can control themselves, the illness may not look like it's interfering with someone's life all that much and therefore it doesn't need to be addressed since it isn't a severe enough problem.

To really get help, I probably do need to show proof that my illness is affecting my life in a serious way. Since I haven't ever been angry long enough to do anything about whatever made me angry, that could definitely contribute to my current situation. Maybe I've been too passive and accepting and it's starting to wear me down.

It's extremely unfortunate that someone has act out their illness just to be taken seriously. After all, the point of mental health is to keep someone stable and the main thing about depression is someone doesn't have to look or even act depressed to be depressed. In the same way, not every symptom is going to be shown in public. There are risks associated with doing so. Even in the privacy of a psychiatrist's office, you never know if you'll do something so bad you get put into a mental hospital for trying to demonstrate the severity of your illness and get taken seriously. It's almost like people have to take that risk just to get any help at all. It's horrible.

I agree that the Devil isn't necessarily a positive card, but so far "behaving" hasn't gotten me very far, so what you're saying makes sense.

I interpret the debilitating as a habit that no longer serves you, mammy times this habit can be unconscious but it can be, in my readings, as blatent as a drug addiction. If i were in your shoes i would examine the habits surrounding your writing, including an emotional state. I firmly believe people can become addicted to enormous patterns just add they can become addicted to substances or food. You may already have a leg up on your analysis. ..you mentioned perfectionism. That may be your devil to banish. In these matters of changing habits that no longer serve, a couple books truly changed my life for the better. The Power of Habit by Chuck Duhigg, and NLP the Essential Guide by Hoobyar and Dotz. Good luck!

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