Spread to analyse what's wrong with me?

bluelagune

I have a delima and I'm not sure what spread to use.

This problem is aboit my goals. I have goals like anyone else but there is a huge problem with accomplishing mine. This is what happens. I set a goal and no matter how much I try there is a fricking obsticles. Always, either people or time just an absolute tirturous stall. As soon as I finally give up on it, things change to drag me back to it. I'll give you two example:
1. A guy I liked and was waiting for him for 3 years... we tryed dating but it never went anywhere. He treated me like crap. As soon as I moved on, he goes psycho on me and stalking.
2. I worked for this company but it never gave me anything no matter how much I put in effort. Actually a few managers did their out most best to get rid of me. As soon as I leave they all go crazy trying to convince me to return.

Could somebody please tell me what spread I can use to determine what is wrong with me?

Thanks.
 

knight_sephiroth

bluelagune said:
I have a delima and I'm not sure what spread to use.

This problem is aboit my goals. I have goals like anyone else but there is a huge problem with accomplishing mine. This is what happens. I set a goal and no matter how much I try there is a fricking obsticles. Always, either people or time just an absolute tirturous stall. As soon as I finally give up on it, things change to drag me back to it. I'll give you two example:
1. A guy I liked and was waiting for him for 3 years... we tryed dating but it never went anywhere. He treated me like crap. As soon as I moved on, he goes psycho on me and stalking.
2. I worked for this company but it never gave me anything no matter how much I put in effort. Actually a few managers did their out most best to get rid of me. As soon as I leave they all go crazy trying to convince me to return.

Could somebody please tell me what spread I can use to determine what is wrong with me?

Thanks.
Click to expand...

Just off the cuff, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think something's wrong with him, and with the business that didn't appreciate you when you were there, but realized how important you were when you left (happens to a lot of us, if it makes you feel better).

I'd look into reading on advice for how to avoid having others take advantage of you, or use you without reciprocating either respect or kindness.

I have a 5-card power cube I've developed over the years, which I adapted a little for you to try:

..1....2..
.....5.....
..4....3..

1 - Influences and energies which are causing these things to happen, which you are already aware of and need to revisit with careful attention

2 - Influences and energies which are at work, which you might not be aware of, and which are causing you to end up in these situations

3 - Other energies and influences at work, generally outside influences or energies coming from people you're interacting with, which are causing these kinds of results for you

4 - Something you can try / advice to see if you can shift things so that you earn more respect, or avoid these kinds of situations

5 - The overall heart or core essence of why this seems to keep happening to you
 

bluelagune

knight_sephiroth said:
Just off the cuff, I don't think there's anything wrong with you. I think something's wrong with him, and with the business that didn't appreciate you when you were there, but realized how important you were when you left (happens to a lot of us, if it makes you feel better).

I'd look into reading on advice for how to avoid having others take advantage of you, or use you without reciprocating either respect or kindness.

I have a 5-card power cube I've developed over the years, which I adapted a little for you to try:

..1....2..
.....5.....
..4....3..

1 - Influences and energies which are causing these things to happen, which you are already aware of and need to revisit with careful attention

2 - Influences and energies which are at work, which you might not be aware of, and which are causing you to end up in these situations

3 - Other energies and influences at work, generally outside influences or energies coming from people you're interacting with, which are causing these kinds of results for you

4 - Something you can try / advice to see if you can shift things so that you earn more respect, or avoid these kinds of situations

5 - The overall heart or core essence of why this seems to keep happening to you
Click to expand...

Thank you. I just tryed this spread and it does make sense. I just did general for both issues and it kinda apples to both. A lot to do with how I form boundaries in friendships and relationships. It seems that people tend to make their goals a priority over mine. I need to crate a healthy balance of give and take where my destiny is not derailed to complete someone else's.
 

The HP

The problem is that you think something is wrong with you. Nothing is wrong with you. You just need to change your perspective. Think and feel from a place of abundance as opposed to a place of wanting.
 

Saskia

I'll just chime in that nothing's wrong with you. You tried your best, you gave all you got, but you just happened to meet exploiting or power-hungry personalities.

The guy you dated clearly wanted to feel in charge (toying with you, and when you withdrew, he went crazy wanting that old power-play back, i.e. you chasing him and being dedicated to him). Same with the employer: you gave what you had, they kept taking, and once you withdrew, they wanted you to run back so that you can keep giving more, more, more.

If there is an issue, maybe it's with borders and asserting your own self and value. In essence, we're treated how we allow others to treat us and if you don't cut out from a toxic situation early, you'll just get more of the same, unfortunately. I've been there too, as a victim of a manipulator, but I figured it out early, luckily. Now I know how they operate ;)

Maybe you could try this string of questions.

What do I need to feel satisfied and valued?
What sign/emotion tells me there's something wrong with this situation?
Where I can find strength to deal with toxic situations/people?
What is the essential next step for me to achieve my goals?
Where should my long-term focus be to achieve my goals?
What is my most important goal right now?

Btw, other people don't achieve all of their goals either, so please don't compare and feel a loser if you think you didn't achieve what you wanted. Everyone has their own losses and disappointments, and clearly something better is out there for you than this psycho guy and difficult workplace! :)
 

bluelagune

Saskia said:
I'll just chime in that nothing's wrong with you. You tried your best, you gave all you got, but you just happened to meet exploiting or power-hungry personalities.

The guy you dated clearly wanted to feel in charge (toying with you, and when you withdrew, he went crazy wanting that old power-play back, i.e. you chasing him and being dedicated to him). Same with the employer: you gave what you had, they kept taking, and once you withdrew, they wanted you to run back so that you can keep giving more, more, more.

If there is an issue, maybe it's with borders and asserting your own self and value. In essence, we're treated how we allow others to treat us and if you don't cut out from a toxic situation early, you'll just get more of the same, unfortunately. I've been there too, as a victim of a manipulator, but I figured it out early, luckily. Now I know how they operate ;)

Maybe you could try this string of questions.

What do I need to feel satisfied and valued?
What sign/emotion tells me there's something wrong with this situation?
Where I can find strength to deal with toxic situations/people?
What is the essential next step for me to achieve my goals?
Where should my long-term focus be to achieve my goals?
What is my most important goal right now?

Btw, other people don't achieve all of their goals either, so please don't compare and feel a loser if you think you didn't achieve what you wanted. Everyone has their own losses and disappointments, and clearly something better is out there for you than this psycho guy and difficult workplace! :)
Click to expand...

Hi Saskia, Thank you. I tryed this spread. It leaned a lot towards career goals. The overall reading was that I'm trying to learn phisical things at work as to how to do something but many people try to get me involved emotionaly and in that I have no interest. I know who I am and I have no interest in growing into something that people need. So it was interesting as I got Death as my strength.

Also, I do not compare myself to people. Mya problem is for some reason people desporately need to change my dreams or derail them somehow. It's strange... the guys I date kinda start ok but then when I start telling them my dreams the conversation turns into how they are stupid or I'm not suppose to achieve them. Worst are those guys in friend zone. .. last one I told that I like this other guy so he went behind my back and trashed me to him. Work... same issue... a manager finds out that I'm good but tells upper manager that's I'm bad... so basically I'm dependant on this first manager so the others don't fire me. I can't progress anywhere. When I leave usually sht hits the fan because the upper management is pissed at being lied to and direct manager is pissed because he is a ahol. So.... my boundaries are very bad. I don't demand anything. I expect people to be fair but they only think for themselves.
 

knight_sephiroth

bluelagune said:
Thank you. I just tryed this spread and it does make sense. I just did general for both issues and it kinda apples to both. A lot to do with how I form boundaries in friendships and relationships. It seems that people tend to make their goals a priority over mine. I need to crate a healthy balance of give and take where my destiny is not derailed to complete someone else's.
Click to expand...

So glad it helped! It sounds like the reading gave you useful insight that you can actually put into practice. This is great. :)

Stay on those rails! Keep your goals in motion.
 
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