Drive by reading

Always Wondering

I was feeling so good. Then, as has happened before, it suddenly feels as if I've been hit by a truck. I'm healthy, just tired and frustrated.

I was walking by my cards and in a fit of pique asked "What am I doing wrong???" Very impulsive, and not the best way to do a reading, I know.

I drew the Four of Disks. I never pull this card. I don't really get Chesed. What is the dead center anyway?

Logic tells me I started feeling too good and over did it. Crowley does imply this is a violently active card. I was hardly violent. I had worked myself back up to walking three miles a day in the cool of the morning.

I suspect I need to work on grounding myself. That's my best interpretation. But that's not something I did wrong.

What do you think?
 

Michael Sternbach

The card might be telling you that you are trying too hard in some respect. Hence the tiredness and frustration. You may need to relax and take certain things a little easier.
 

Aeon418

I agree with Michael. Relax! :cool4:

The Fortress in this card is maintained by "constant authority and vigilance." But maybe you don't need that level of discipline right now. The present situation may require something more gentle and laid back.

This card has Sol in Capricorn attributed to it. In the Northern hemisphere the Sun is "reborn" in the sign of Capricorn and begins to turn Northward once again. But that happens in it's own sweet time, when Law dictates that it should. Forcing things "out of season" isn't indicated by this card.

The "dead centre"? I'm sure you've ridden a bicycle at one time or another? There you are sitting on your bike, one pedal at 12 o'clock and the other at 6 o'clock. Pushing straight down on the pedals won't move the crank. A direct application of force isn't required here, and will probably just be a waste of energy. What is needed to get things going is a little bit of gentle tangential force to get things revolving once more.
 

smw

I was feeling so good. Then, as has happened before, it suddenly feels as if I've been hit by a truck. I'm healthy, just tired and frustrated.

I was walking by my cards and in a fit of pique asked "What am I doing wrong???" Very impulsive, and not the best way to do a reading, I know.

I drew the Four of Disks. I never pull this card. I don't really get Chesed. What is the dead center anyway?

Logic tells me I started feeling too good and over did it. Crowley does imply this is a violently active card. I was hardly violent. I had worked myself back up to walking three miles a day in the cool of the morning.

I suspect I need to work on grounding myself. That's my best interpretation. But that's not something I did wrong.

What do you think?

I might wonder if the reference (BOT) to bodily processes of respiration and nutrition might also be relevant in some way. There are physical issues in your query, exercise, feeling hit by a truck etc... Tiredness. Maybe watch iron levels, or even possibly eating enough.
 

Zephyros

There's a famous line from Through the Looking Glass, where the Red Queen tells Alice that she has to run as fast as she can in order to stay in the same place. This card is similar to that, immense Power, but all that power is used to stay in the same place, firm and solid. In fact, this card is almost overkill, so powerful yet immobile it is.

What are you doing wrong? Like others have said, being too hard on yourself. Sometimes that level of discipline is necessary but firstly it simply cannot be maintained, being just too much, and secondly it lacks the flexibility that we have as humans, that is so important to us. All the Fours are ideals, but they are there to be striven for or at least attained temporarily. This isn't to say that you should give up walking or your vitality, I suspect it is more of a "lust of result" kind of thing.
 

ravenest

Is someone in your 'space' that should not be in your space ?
 

Always Wondering

Thanks everyone.

Michael Sternbach said:
The card might be telling you that you are trying too hard in some respect. Hence the tiredness and frustration. You may need to relax and take certain things a little easier.

Yep, trying too hard seams to be the theme of my summer.

Aeon418 said:
The Fortress in this card is maintained by "constant authority and vigilance." But maybe you don't need that level of discipline right now. The present situation may require something more gentle and laid back.

I have been very vigilant, especially in a nutritional way.

This card has Sol in Capricorn attributed to it. In the Northern hemisphere the Sun is "reborn" in the sign of Capricorn and begins to turn Northward once again. But that happens in it's own sweet time, when Law dictates that it should. Forcing things "out of season" isn't indicated by this card.

Thanks, I couldn't figure out what Crowley was getting at with this.

The "dead centre"? I'm sure you've ridden a bicycle at one time or another? There you are sitting on your bike, one pedal at 12 o'clock and the other at 6 o'clock. Pushing straight down on the pedals won't move the crank. A direct application of force isn't required here, and will probably just be a waste of energy. What is needed to get things going is a little bit of gentle tangential force to get things revolving once more.

Okay. This will be helpful from now on.

smw said:
I might wonder if the reference (BOT) to bodily processes of respiration and nutrition might also be relevant in some way. There are physical issues in your query, exercise, feeling hit by a truck etc... Tiredness. Maybe watch iron levels, or even possibly eating enough.
You know, I had missed this. I was avoiding presenting this as a medical reading. But I have just recently come to terms with the fact that I have been over vigilant with the health food. Too many raw veggies and green smoothies being too hard on the kidneys, I suspect. The minute I cut back I started feeling better. For a while. I think it's amazing when a card presents itself so perfectly. Perhaps I swung to far the other way into the land of junk food. :laugh: I will try to find the middle ground here.

closrapexa said:
There's a famous line from Through the Looking Glass, where the Red Queen tells Alice that she has to run as fast as she can in order to stay in the same place. This card is similar to that, immense Power, but all that power is used to stay in the same place, firm and solid. In fact, this card is almost overkill, so powerful yet immobile it is.
I can't quite wrap my head around this, but it is exactly how I feel. I will have to think on this.

closrapexa said:
All the Fours are ideals, but they are there to be striven for or at least attained temporarily. This isn't to say that you should give up walking or your vitality, I suspect it is more of a "lust of result" kind of thing.
:p Yes, I just want to feel real good all the time. :laugh: I want to be the one to discover the secret to eternal strength and youth. And never, ever, ever have another bad day again. What of it? :|

ravenest said:
Is someone in your 'space' that should not be in your space ?
My son's wedding is coming up in September. That is already putting people in my space I wouldn't necessarily choose. There is wedding drama with inlaws and invites and such. I am not looking forward to this part of the nuptials. I hadn't considered this as part of the issue, but I have been working on personal boundaries all year. I don't suppose there is much I can do about this one though.

AW
 

Tanga

...:p Yes, I just want to feel real good all the time. :laugh: I want to be the one to discover the secret to eternal strength and youth. And never, ever, ever have another bad day again. What of it? :|

:) :) :)
Don't we all. But life is an ever present dance of balance - is it not?
Allow - that there will always be downers (weighed down by hanging onto those 4 disks), just as there will always be times of savouring the joy of polishing off and admiring those shiny disks. That you worked hard for and got - all-by-yourself.
(or - just as in the struggle to become a meditator - allow those thoughts with high emotional charge, or those that distract - to BE - observe them and just let them float past like a feather on a breeze. And return to your meditaiton. Rinse and Repeat - ad infinitum. :) If this makes any sense).

My son's wedding is coming up in September. That is already putting people in my space I wouldn't necessarily choose. There is wedding drama with inlaws and invites and such. I am not looking forward to this part of the nuptials. I hadn't considered this as part of the issue, but I have been working on personal boundaries all year. I don't suppose there is much I can do about this one though.

AW

LOL! (She exclaims, being able to identify 100% with the whole "inlaws, space invasion and personal boundaries" drama herself).
What I have come to accept through experience - is there are always times of walking though the tunnel and wondering where the H the light at the end is (natural "cycles" and "seasons" - "Sun in Capricorn").
It always arrives - sooner or later. Keep your head down and keep plodding on.

TRUST that the light will re-appear.
It is the nature of things.
 

smw

There's a famous line from Through the Looking Glass, where the Red Queen tells Alice that she has to run as fast as she can in order to stay in the same place. This card is similar to that, immense Power, but all that power is used to stay in the same place, firm and solid. In fact, this card is almost overkill, so powerful yet immobile.

That is a beautiful link, what a great description of this card! Reading about it was baffling and paradoxical.

eta AW... I am now seeing you as a fairy princess in the castle working through the riddles of the Queen :) Or running- what happens if it is widdershins...
 

Always Wondering

Don't we all. But life is an ever present dance of balance - is it not?

Yes. And to a degree I was teasing closrapexa because he is always calling me out on my lust of result. ;) But it's true, also.

LOL! (She exclaims, being able to identify 100% with the whole "inlaws, space invasion and personal boundaries" drama herself).
What I have come to accept through experience - is there are always times of walking though the tunnel and wondering where the H the light at the end is (natural "cycles" and "seasons" - "Sun in Capricorn").
It always arrives - sooner or later. Keep your head down and keep plodding on.

I particularly dislike the role of mother in law, or future mother in law. It feels loaded with negativity and I find it flabbergasting that my daughter in law is intimidated by me in any way.

TRUST that the light will re-appear.
It is the nature of things.
Thanks.

smw said:
eta AW... I am now seeing you as a fairy princess in the castle working through the riddles of the Queen Or running- what happens if it is widdershins...

:laugh: Tell that to my future daughter in law.