Tarot To Find Out Someone's Sexuality ???

Amanda_04 said:

The fact of the matter is, a person wanting to know this information is *really* wanting to know if it's safe to make a move or not... and I see no harm in reading on that

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I personally see wanting to know someone's sexuality for this reason as avoiding a bad decision and the consequences that come along with it. No harm at all... in fact, it's beneficial.

I mean, isn't that what one of the reasons why we have Tarot? To help us make good decisions?

MissJo said:

I personally see wanting to know someone's sexuality for this reason as avoiding a bad decision and the consequences that come along with it. No harm at all... in fact, it's beneficial.

I mean, isn't that what one of the reasons why we have Tarot? To help us make good decisions?

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Bad decision?

You can't get into a relationship with someone if they're not willing. And if their sexuality inclines them otherwise, they won't be willing. There's a greater (much more likely) risk that they will ahve the preference you want, but simply won't be interested. Not all people are gagging to sleep with every single person whose preferences are right! <laughter>.

nisaba said:

Bad decision?

You can't get into a relationship with someone if they're not willing.

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You didn't need to tell me that...

And if their sexuality inclines them otherwise, they won't be willing. There's a greater (much more likely) risk that they will ahve the preference you want, but simply won't be interested.

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Haha, yeah... if you're straight you're more likely to find someone with the preference you want. If you're gay or lesbian it's another story.

Not all people are gagging to sleep with every single person whose preferences are right! <laughter>.

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No, but that doesn't make it any less embarrassing or humiliating. If you think putting yourself in an embarrassing situation that could have been avoided before hand by using the tools at your disposal isn't a bad decision, fine... have fun with that. I, on the other hand, would rather use the tools at my disposal so I can avoid asking out a straight woman, both for her sake and for mine.

I would like to learn to read someone's sexual orientation. Not to be nosy or anything, but to get myself out of doubt. But not to meddle in other peoples personal business at their expense. Say I meet a guy at work, it would save me the trouble and humiliation of asking him. Do remember that the majority of heteros, especially men do get offended when someone ask them if they are gay or bi. Now, imagine asking a homophobic?

I used to think it unethical to read about people's sexual orientation. I changed my mind.

Here's the thing. If tarot is perfectly accurate, you'd get the right answer. So why not.

Here's what I don't like. I don't like the idea of people gossiping based on tarot readings.

I don't think tarot is perfectly accurate. It's not the busybody question that bugs me. It's the subsequent gossip.

"She thought he was gay but tarot says no, so obviously he's just not that into her."

"Tarot says she's a lesbian so he can forget her, she won't be interested in him."

Etc. I don't wanna hear this kind of stuff and I wouldn't want people talking about me this way. So that's what I object to.

MissJo said:

Do you know how awkward it is for both parties if X makes a move on Y and Y is not into X's sex/gender [depending on the person the sex and gender can be the same or different]? That's a situation that's best avoided for everyone involved, it saves a lot of humiliation and embarrassment.

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Hm, that doesn't seem to be an issue for the vast majority of straight men! I haven't heard many of them being desperate to make sure the woman they were interested in asking out wasn't a lesbian. In my experience, they just ASSUME that everyone is straight (not to mention attracted to them) and operate on that basis. Sure, if the 10% rule applies, their odds are pretty good, but still...

As for the danger of accidentally asking out a homophobe: I'm very sure that THIS can be found out about before putting oneself out there by asking for a date. Of course this assumes an already established talking basis with the person in question, which may not be in place in the typical American dating situation (I wouldn't know since these things seem to work differently over here)...

Debra also has a point here. It does make a huge difference what the results of the reading are USED for. Do I really just want to know if that person whom I suspect may be queer really is so I can safely amp up the flirting in a context where it may otherwise be unwise to do so? Or do I want to share any insights gained from a reading on someone else's sexual preferences with my friends (the gossip Debra talked about)? I can see the use behind the former but find the latter very problematic and unethical.

Cat* said:

As for the danger of accidentally asking out a homophobe: I'm very sure that THIS can be found out about before putting oneself out there by asking for a date. Of course this assumes an already established talking basis with the person in question, which may not be in place in the typical American dating situation (I wouldn't know since these things seem to work differently over here)...

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Has anyone ever considered getting to KNOW someone before "asking them out" ? I wouldn't want to "date" anyone on the basis of a *PWHOAAAAR* across a crowded room. They might bore me to tears over dinner. So here I am SO with Cat* ! This idea of dating someone you don't know - ugh. Risky.

Cat* said:

Debra also has a point here. It does make a huge difference what the results of the reading are USED for. Do I really just want to know if that person whom I suspect may be queer really is so I can safely amp up the flirting in a context where it may otherwise be unwise to do so? Or do I want to share any insights gained from a reading on someone else's sexual preferences with my friends (the gossip Debra talked about)? I can see the use behind the former but find the latter very problematic and unethical.

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There I do agree, though I still wouldn't read on this, for intrusion reasons. It would be very different reading for your own purposes than reading to tell others (which is why I STILL take issue with the OP here ! The "friend" need to do the reading himself.

Also I hate the readings I see here saying "why doesn't x like me, is it because he's gay ?"

And other people saying "yeah, probably so don't worry about it." It never seems to occur to these people that maybe it's because - he simply doesn't fancy you. Or perhaps - because your behaviour when trying to interest someone is - unpleasantly predatory ?

I've had passes made at me by other women, MissJo. (in case you didn't know, I am a laydee person !) Big deal. Why is it so much harder to say no thanks than it is to anyone else I don't fancy, for any reason at all ? A courteous refusal works fine, I think. Embarrassment I can imagine, I guess, but there is NO REASON for anyone to feel humiliated by a refusal - in any dating situation. Being gay - or straight - is nothing to feel humiliated about - ever. THEY should be the ones feeling humiliated if they are unpleasant about it. I realise they wouldn't be, on account of being tasteless and nasty people - but that is no reason for you to take their humiliation upon yourself !

Red_Ocean said:

I would like to learn to read someone's sexual orientation. Not to be nosy or anything, but to get myself out of doubt. But not to meddle in other peoples personal business at their expense. Say I meet a guy at work, it would save me the trouble and humiliation of asking him. Do remember that the majority of heteros, especially men do get offended when someone ask them if they are gay or bi. Now, imagine asking a homophobic?

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(just saw this...)
I would thoroughly enjoy that. They deserve to be embarrassed by their own prejudices everywhere they go... Please allow me to take on this task for you, people. I won't read; I will ask ! In public, ideally - bring all your homophobes up to rural ON, and I will take them into a pub and....

Actually on reflection I am offended at their being offended at all, really. Hm.... They should be extra flattered that EVERYONE is up for fancying them and not just half the population

Excuse me, I feel a bit combative this morning

you see, this is one of those things that irks me.

Tarot should be something that helps us understand the world around us, not something that gives us an easy out and allows us to live without taking risk. A lot of the people who ask me for readings only want to know something SO THEY DONT HAVE TO PUT THEMSELVES ON THE LINE! and as appealing as that is, YOU CANT LIVE WITHOUT DOING IT! why not just ask the deck to date the guy for the first time, or have sex with him too, or get married? why not make the cards deal with EVERY dangerous thing in your life? you CAN'T because LIFE=RISK.

That is the message of the Fool, and is the FIRST message anyone on their journey needs to learn

... I would ask them.

BUT I can understand him. I mean I live in a very macho culture , and if I asked and he wasnt gay ( and some times even if he was) he'd get mad. no matter if it was an honest question , it is just bad to doubt somebody's sexual orientation here. its just not something you ask.


so if somebody wanted to know about it and make an advancement, I'd do it. it could even be dangerous for a gay man to try and get to know another guy too deeply, etc. but if they just wanted to get in their business I wouldnt. its fine for me because I only read for friends.


but I do prefer questions about " what would be the best aproach to ... " "would it be ok if I asked him... "

maybe a " should I ask him if he is..." or " how should I ask him... " but it all depends on the situation , so Im open to either side.

Why the heck is a "sex expert" afraid to ask someone out? Is he so out for a piece of honey he can't have a cup of coffee with someone?

I mean I'm bisexual, and so I get the whole "will she freak out" if I ask question, but not are they gay? That takes two seconds. A simple answer can be gotten from walking over to the guy and asking, "Hey you're looking fabulous today, would you like some coffee and some good conversation?"

I mean come on he's a psychologist right?! Doesn't he like to "talk" to people? I am sorry I just find this baffling!