Flames
Only in retrospect. That was a completely spontaneous response that I just blurted out. The disagreement was actually about "not sticking it."
I get that. That's what I 'like' about the 10 of Swords. When something is over and done with, it's just 'dead' and gone. But, I think there is an internal process that occurs to be able to reach the conclusion a situation is really over and there are no residual feelings.
I remember how perturbed, anxious and easily irritable I became around a certain person I used to know. I mean, this person affected me in a very big way. I cut all ties with him. A year later, we ran into each other in the neighborhood and he had absolutely no effect on me. Seeing him made me recall how bad things had really been back then, how unhealthy having him in my life truly was but in that moment, I had no attachment to the memory. There was a sense that I was above it all and he couldn't rattle me. If I tried to avoid his eyes before, I was looking straight at him this time. He tried a few times after that to get close, but of course, I just didn't care anymore. And that's what's so fascinating about time and endings. There were no feelings. I had no feelings. I considered that an achievement!!
There was...nothing. I've asked myself what it means for there to be 'nothing'. It feels like a blank slate, a clean slate...completely unaffected by what used to be.