Same Sex Relationship Spread

jrr01

Ok here is a spread I've made up for those who are gay or lesbian and are in a relationship. ESPECIALLY for them ;-) (but you can use it for a hetero relationship too. I just hope that this spread does not offend anyone who is homophobic or against gay/lesbian rights on this spread forum.


1--2--3
4-----5
6-----7
8-----9
--10--
--11--
--12--
--13--

1. Yourself
2. Current situation between us.
3. Himself
4. What my family thinks about him personally?
5. What my family thinks about my relationship with him?
6. What his family thinks about me personally?
7. What his family thinks about his relationship with me?
8. About his past
9. What his is hidding from me?
10. Will he remain faithful to me?
11. How will society will see us? (included family, friends, co. workers)
12. What do we need to make this last?
13. How will this relationship end?
 

GryffinSong

If it's for lesbians too, they'll need to use she/her pronounds. ;) I've always felt that any relationship spread would work for any relationship. Just remember to use the correct pronouns and you're all set. ;)

For instance, this spread, as written, could be for a gay man or a straight woman. Or either sex, if they're bi. Basically, it's for anyone who's in a relationship with a man. ;)
 

rwcarter

jrr01 said:
1. Himself
2. Current situation between us.
3. Yourself
4. What his family thinks of our relationship?
5. What my family thinks of our relationship?
6. What his is hidding from me?
7. Will he remain faithful to me?
8. How will society will see us?
9. What do we need to make this last?
10. How will this relationship end?
I usually try to remove gender designations when I create spreads or copy someone else's spread into my collection, so I would change your positions to be:

1. Partner
2. Current situation in the relationship
3. Querent
4. What Partner's family thinks of the relationship
5. What Querent's family thinks of the relationship
6. Something Querent needs to know about their Partner (as originally written, this position assumes that someone is hiding something from someone else, which may or may not be the case)
7. Partner's ability to remain faithful to Querent (I avoid Yes/No positions in spreads)
8. How society will view the relationship (society is really broad - do you mean friends/family? neighbors? co-workers? city? state? country? world?)
9. What we need to do to make the relationship last
10. Comment on the longevity of the relationship (it's a little gloom and doom to assume that a given relationship is going to end)

Rodney
 

jrr01

There you go...! :)
 

aceofhearts

Im in a herto relationship but dont find the spread offensive in any way. 2 of my friends are gay. I had never thought to ask my friend how he reads the tarot. Or what spreads he uses.Ty for bringing this up!

I hope that you find answers and how to structure the spread. I dont know enough about spreads to help but the advice here is great and im impressed with how people can put spreads together so quickly.
 

moderndayruth

I use the same relationship spreads and , honestly, i don't see a reason why would i make up new ones for various orientations, relationships are relationships.
I think the originally suggested spread might reflect some of readers personal insecurities and prejudices and if i were in a same sex relationship i wouldn't want to have a reading with it.
( Btw,I am heterosexual, but i read regularly for gay friends .)
 

Sophie

As a gay-friendly woman, I find the spread unbalanced and filled with insecurity. I would never use it, though I frequently read for gay people. Why ask what families and society think of the relationship? It's none of their business. If a gay person has a problem with his/her family or society, it would be more empowering to ask the cards how he/she can overcome it, rather than play on fears of homophobia. Like Rodney, I am also uncomfortable with closed questions like "what he's hiding from me", which ranks alongside "when did you stop beating your wife?" in terms of making assumptions about someone!

When I read for someone who is gay, about a relationship, I read with a normal relationship spread. If there are additional questions and the person wishes to explore their own insecurities, I'll draw more cards, including empowering cards such as - "how best can the querent deal with his father's discomfort at including his boyfriend in family gatherings?", which are specific to the situation at hand. It hasn't happened very often, though it does happen occasionally. But I wouldn't construct a spread full of questions that presuppose insecurity. As it stands, I think this spread needs more work, not least to get rid of the closed questions and assumptions.
 

BrightEye

jrr01 said:
4. What his family thinks of our relationship?
5. What my family thinks of our relationship?
8. How will society will see us?
Why should these questions be particular to same-sex relationships?
jrr01 said:
6. What his is hidding from me?
7. Will he remain faithful to me?
10. How will this relationship end?
These seem to reflect the apparently widely-held prejudice that gay people are inherently promiscuous. You don't want to give that kind of impression to a sitter.
 

gregory

Fudugazi said:
As a gay-friendly woman, I find the spread unbalanced and filled with insecurity. I would never use it, though I frequently read for gay people. Why ask what families and society think of the relationship? It's none of their business. If a gay person has a problem with his/her family or society, it would be more empowering to ask the cards how he/she can overcome it, rather than play on fears of homophobia. Like Rodney, I am also uncomfortable with closed questions like "what he's hiding from me", which ranks alongside "when did you stop beating your wife?" in terms of making assumptions about someone!
Yes. And I can't see why anyone needs a separate spread for a gay/lesbian relationship - a relationship is just a relationship; the same kinds of issues and problems appear with all kinds. And yes - "what is he hiding ?" - suppose there is nothing ? What is the point of that question unless the sitter has asked ? As for how will parents and society see us - words fail me. ONLY if these came up specifically would they be relevant, IMHO.

Or to put it another way - if you were to be reading for my lesbian close friend's relationship with this spread it wouldn't even make sense. And if not for her, probably not for a lot of others too.
 

goddessof1967

The terminology within the position titles imply the spread is only for a person involved with a man yet you refer to lesbians in your discussion part. Confused.......

I don't either understand why you would automatically presume that the r'ship is going to end. Isn't it the aim to keep it going when you're in it?