Hanged Man reversed, Queen of Wands reversed, Knight of Cups

pandap

This is part of a nine card relationship reading regarding the outcome of someone's marriage. They are going through a difficult time at the moment, but they haven't indicated what sort of difficulties they are currently going through.

Three cards for the past of the relationship, with positions.

1. Major influence - the Hanged Man reversed.
2. What happened - Queen of Wands reversed.
3. What did they react to what happened - Knight of Cups.

This is a new spread that I am trying out, and I'm not 100% sure on how to read the positions.

At the moment I'm reading it loosely as, due to boredom in the relationship (Hanged Man reversed), the husband had an affair (Queen of Wands reversed), leading to the wife seeking solace elsewhere (Knight of Cups).

I can't tell from these cards if the husband or the wife may have had an affair (if indeed, that is correct).

I would appreciate any additional input, as I'm a bit stuck on this one.
 

Grizabella

This is a kind of reading that I usually try to avoid because, considering that no reader is ever 100% right 100% of the time, serious consequences that can even be extremely dangerous can happen as a result. Predicting affairs is tricky and dangerous business

What I'd suggest in the future is that you make your own spread about the situation, not including anything that could lead to your predicting affairs. For instance you could reword the question to say "How can we bring more sparkle into our marriage?" Or "why am I feeling insecure about my marriage?" and/or "what can I do to give myself more self-assurance?"

I try to leave out anything that brings me to the position of actually speaking of infidelity.

I've had men ask me if their wife or SO is cheating on them and this is one of the readings I turn down absolutely. If a wife comes to me and says she knows her husband or SO is unfaithful, then we can devise a spread that will help her to achieve some better self-esteem and empower herself to carry on with the marriage if it's salvageable or to boost her feelings of self-esteem and ability to move on alone if necessary.

As far as these cards you've drawn, the Hanged Man reversed would be somebody who wasn't interested in doing anything for anyone. He'd be all for himself and to heck with trying to see things from his wife's point of view. A "my way or the highway" kind of guy.

The Queen of Wands reversed would be kind of a Ms. Plain Jane, without the sparkly personality and winning ways of the upright Queen of Wands. She might be in some kind of depression and not even be interested in sex anymore due to depression. (Probably from being married to ol' Mr. Myway R. Thehighway up there.

How did they react to what happened? In a very immature way. The Knight of Cups is a teenager without a lot of experience with infidelity and bad relationships, so he'd be all soppy and full of emotion and begging for a reconsideration. He might even threaten suicide.
 

pandap

Grizabella said:
This is a kind of reading that I usually try to avoid because, considering that no reader is ever 100% right 100% of the time, serious consequences that can even be extremely dangerous can happen as a result. Predicting affairs is tricky and dangerous business

What I'd suggest in the future is that you make your own spread about the situation, not including anything that could lead to your predicting affairs. For instance you could reword the question to say "How can we bring more sparkle into our marriage?" Or "why am I feeling insecure about my marriage?" and/or "what can I do to give myself more self-assurance?"

I try to leave out anything that brings me to the position of actually speaking of infidelity.

I've had men ask me if their wife or SO is cheating on them and this is one of the readings I turn down absolutely. If a wife comes to me and says she knows her husband or SO is unfaithful, then we can devise a spread that will help her to achieve some better self-esteem and empower herself to carry on with the marriage if it's salvageable or to boost her feelings of self-esteem and ability to move on alone if necessary.

As far as these cards you've drawn, the Hanged Man reversed would be somebody who wasn't interested in doing anything for anyone. He'd be all for himself and to heck with trying to see things from his wife's point of view. A "my way or the highway" kind of guy.

The Queen of Wands reversed would be kind of a Ms. Plain Jane, without the sparkly personality and winning ways of the upright Queen of Wands. She might be in some kind of depression and not even be interested in sex anymore due to depression. (Probably from being married to ol' Mr. Myway R. Thehighway up there.

How did they react to what happened? In a very immature way. The Knight of Cups is a teenager without a lot of experience with infidelity and bad relationships, so he'd be all soppy and full of emotion and begging for a reconsideration. He might even threaten suicide.
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Thanks Grizabella. I agree wholeheartedly. This isn't the reading I'm giving back to the client. As it's an "experimental" spread which I haven't used before, I'm using it to try it out and gauge its accuracy, by comparing it with another reading, which I will give to the lady concerned. I find this quite a good indication of the applicability of various spreads, and as a result I use them, toss them, or refine them, to suit.

I wouldn't be so presumptuous to try and predict if either had had an affair, for the reasons you've outlined. Having said that, that was what struck me when I first looked at the cards.

I've just completed her "proper" reading, which reflects the basic state of their relationship, which unfortunately doesn't look very promising. However, I am certainly not going to tell her that the Tarot says either of them have had an affair and the relationship is doomed. There were a number of cards to point her in the right direction, which I hope she uses to help herself in her marriage.

I like your take on the cards, your description of Mr My Way or the Highway, and her possibly being in depression makes a lot of sense. :)
 

Grizabella

I need to spend more time re-reading my posts, I think. I think this one might have come across as sounding critical of you when I didn't mean to be at all. I was just intending to share that when I get questions like these, they really give me an "oh no, not this!" kind of feeling, you know? It's just a loaded question that really puts the reader in a very precarious position, you know?

I should have also said that I understood this might just be a spread you were making, not necessarily an actual reading because I did think of it as I was typing that response.

Have you seen the Deck of 1,000 Spreads? I just ordered that, thinking it might be somewhat elementary since I've been reading the cards for years, but I've actually been pleasantly surprised by its actual usefulness. I'm glad I bought it. It's reasonably priced, so it might be worth a look for you, too. It's very good for building your own spreads. I've been winging it for so long, making up my own spreads, but these cards actually make it possible to build spreads that are extremely apropo to whatever situation you're reading about and bring out aspects of readings that I hadn't thought of.

I'm sorry if you thought I was being critical. I'm just an "open mouth insert foot" kind of person sometimes.
 

pandap

Grizabella said:
I need to spend more time re-reading my posts, I think. I think this one might have come across as sounding critical of you when I didn't mean to be at all. I was just intending to share that when I get questions like these, they really give me an "oh no, not this!" kind of feeling, you know? It's just a loaded question that really puts the reader in a very precarious position, you know?

I should have also said that I understood this might just be a spread you were making, not necessarily an actual reading because I did think of it as I was typing that response.

Have you seen the Deck of 1,000 Spreads? I just ordered that, thinking it might be somewhat elementary since I've been reading the cards for years, but I've actually been pleasantly surprised by its actual usefulness. I'm glad I bought it. It's reasonably priced, so it might be worth a look for you, too. It's very good for building your own spreads. I've been winging it for so long, making up my own spreads, but these cards actually make it possible to build spreads that are extremely apropo to whatever situation you're reading about and bring out aspects of readings that I hadn't thought of.

I'm sorry if you thought I was being critical. I'm just an "open mouth insert foot" kind of person sometimes.
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You have nothing to apologise for Grizabella. If anything, it was my fault for not making myself clearer in my initial post.

I understand exactly what you're saying, and agree with you.

No, I haven't seen that book. I'm a bit broke at the moment, but I have actually already put it on my "Tarot purchase list". There is a book I'm reading at the moment called "Tarot Spreads Get the Whole Story" by James Ricklef, which is extremely good and well worth a look at. I expect it may be a bit basic for someone such as yourself, with your level of experience, but I am finding it very beneficial. He gives you an idea of how to build spreads and modify spreads, and then does an example reading from the spreads. The example readings that he does are based on either fictional characters, such as Beauty and the Beast for example, or past historical figures. He did a reading based on Clarke Gable from Gone with the Wind, which just happens to be my all time favourite movie, and the reading was sensational, especially the way he breaks it down and discusses it afterwards. It's absolutely fascinating to read his readings, and extremely uncanny the cards that come up. Worth every cent.

Anyway, apologies, I digress. I'm rather a boring individual, and find it very difficult to come up with questions to test my Tarot skills, so I've started doing two or three different spreads as "tests" for a reading, as well as my standard "safe" reading, which I feel confident I can't go too far wrong with. I've found it a marvellous way to learn, not only the cards themselves, but how spreads work, how they don't work and so forth. I've been extremely inspired from James' book, and am trying to come up with questions based on past historical events as well, which I have no doubt will enhance my learning.

No offence was taken at all. Apart from which, it's always useful to learn from other people's perspectives. :)
 

The HP

The husband was sexting his lover. Looks like he should have been more discreet.
 

pandap

The HP said:
The husband was sexting his lover. Looks like he should have been more discreet.
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That's an interesting take. What makes you think that, from the cards?
 

The HP

pandap said:
That's an interesting take. What makes you think that, from the cards?
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Reversed Hanged Man is the opposite of a hanging man.... There's impatience due to sexual excitement. The reversed Queen of Wands would be the sexting partner, Knight of cups is a form of romantic messsaging/communicating. And, I guess, my intuition and experience with the cards relating to such topics.
 

think

I don't read it like an affair at all!

1. Major influence - the Hanged Man reversed.

They are stuck in a rut. It has probably started from his thinking, taking her for granted, being sick of being nagged, but then spread to her thinking, and she feels like she has to walk on eggshells to avoid upsetting him. They spend too much time together without actually really being together. She is always doing household chores, he falls asleep on the sofa, both probably use their smartphones too much and conversation has run dry.

2. What happened - Queen of Wands reversed.

A lack of passion, which came about as a result to the above.

3. What did they react to what happened - Knight of Cups.

They tried to fix it, probably she wanted to fix it. She made half hearted attempts at putting some romance back in, she cooked a dinner, decided to have a special date or something, but she didn't communicate her true feelings and wishes and he couldn't read her mind, so it was a bit fickle and immature. Then she told him how she felt and he made attempts at wooing her, he told her she is pretty and he put down his mobile phone to talk to her. But overall, they both need to be more proactive and mature.
 

headincloud

Totally agree with Griz on strategy cos there's so much room for error and I'd read it differently which proves her point, to me career is the focus rather than affair. Seems a selfish drive in play with HM rx and a sacrifice is being called for towards the common goal of further developing the relationship that she's not prepared to make so a lack of development in that area currently.

The bigger picture may be a job proposal involving travel with the knight acting to disrupt a stagnant relationship which is holding her back in most other areas. It's safe and unstimulating so perhaps they don't truly inspire each other, there's no sense of oppression more of voluntarily staying in a rut so the sacrifice she's decided she needs to make is the relationship but she's hanging on a minute in the HM as she sorts things out which may be why her energy is out of balance, she's confronting changes.

The relationship may limiting other relationships but she's not looking for romance as family are being placed above it.
 
Knight of Swords + 7 Wands Clarifier as outcome? Ten of Pentacles