feeling guilt: bereavement spread?

Hello
Does anyone know of a good bereavement spread? There's one on spreads index, but it's a 16 card spread and as I'm new to tarot, I think it is too large for me.

My Nan died at the age of 91 this weekend. We weren't really close, mainly because my Dad (her son) was never really close to her. Plus, I always felt she favoured my Aunts and their children. In any case, we were much closer to my Mum's parents and developed really a strong bond with them.

The truth is, now I'm feeling guilty at not trying hard enough to develop a relationship with her in my adult life. Can anyone suggest a spread to give me some advice?

Can you make up your own? Something like: How I was in our relationship, how she was in our relationship, what I need to do now.

It's normal to feel guilty when someone dies and sometimes it helps just to recognise that. We always feel that we could have done more - but there are good reasons why that didn't happen and we might as well let ourselves off the hook.

When I feel guilty, I tell myself: "I can feel guilty if I want but I don't have to." I don't know why but that works for me.

I'm sorry about your grandmother, cherylleebest. I think fairyhedgehog's suggestions are excellent. If you decide to create your own spread, you might consider a position asking, "What can I learn from this?"

An existing spread that could be applicable is James Ricklef's Sorrow's Alchemy. Here's one version of it:

1. Sorrow : What should I know about my sorrow (guilt)?
2. Acceptance: How can I accept it?
3. Hidden gifts: What gifts are hidden in it?
4. Wisdom: What wisdom can I learn from it?
5. Transformation: How can I transform my sorrow (guilt) into happiness (acceptance, peace)?

And of course it could be tweaked as you prefer, to more exactly fit your situation & feelings.

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ETA: Sorrow's Alchemy Spread is from Tarot: Get the Whole Story by James Ricklef, Llewellyn Publications 2004.

Thank you both. x