What did I do to deserve you?

Aeon.of.Horus

A friend recently asked me to do a reading for him regarding his current relationship.
He was asking if there was a particular spread we could you to answer the question

"What did I do to deserve you?"

Meaning his wife...

I was a tad stuck as to what to do with this question ....

Can anyone help ?

Does any of you guys know of an appropriate spread to help answer his question....

Thank you all in advance...

Aeon
 

Debra

Maybe something like this?

1. What attracted me to you?
2. What attracted you to me?
3. How are we similar?
4. What seems like "bad karma" in our relationship?
5. How can I address the problems in our relationship?
6. What seems like "good karma" in our relationship?
7. How can I strengthen the good aspects of our relationship?
 

Aeon.of.Horus

Maybe something like this?

1. What attracted me to you?
2. What attracted you to me?
3. How are we similar?
4. What seems like "bad karma" in our relationship?
5. How can I address the problems in our relationship?
6. What seems like "good karma" in our relationship?
7. How can I strengthen the good aspects of our relationship?
Yes Thank You Debra....!

I think that would be groovy

He was meaning the question a slightly sarcastic way though.

But as you incorporated the Good Karma & Bad Karma aspects into the spread I feel
this could give him a certain sort of answer...

Not sure if it is quite what he was looking for but...

I was struggling because I knew his question had a dark undertone.

Ie...

What bad things had he done in his past or even past life to deserve the worries and stresses he is currently going through.

I know him and his wife very well and I know they have some real bad problems, she is very easy to anger and stresses out at the slightest thing lol... poor lad!

He loves her though (glutton for punishment if you ask me but...)

Anyway thank you once again i will certainly give it a try with him...

Aeon
 

danieljuk

this is a tricky one because normally people ask relationship questions when they have problems or to work out something. There is a negative to be revolved but can see you say it's slightly sarcastic Aeon.

In the spread index I thought these two might be good...

State of Our Relationship
I really liked this spread - Eternal Love Sphere

obviously you can take those ideas and then change them how you want!

This month in the reading with oracles spread, they did this spread (you can use any type of cards with it), I thought it might fit well for you, it's based on a song but I think the positions are really excellent Live Like We're Dying spread
 

Aeon.of.Horus

this is a tricky one because normally people ask relationship questions when they have problems or to work out something. There is a negative to be revolved but can see you say it's slightly sarcastic Aeon.

In the spread index I thought these two might be good...

State of Our Relationship
I really liked this spread - Eternal Love Sphere

obviously you can take those ideas and then change them how you want!

This month in the reading with oracles spread, they did this spread (you can use any type of cards with it), I thought it might fit well for you, it's based on a song but I think the positions are really excellent Live Like We're Dying spread

Thank you very much danieljuk I will check them out tomorrow.
Its gone midnight here in China now lol

Aeon
 

Debra

Hi Aeon,

The sarcasm came through loud and clear.

Sounds like he sees himself as a victim of fate, with a weak sense of the role he plays in his own life. Since he's not born a slave, his relationship with his wife did not just "happen" to him--he made it happen, too.

This is why I suggested these particular topics for card positions. I imagine some of the topics might make him uncomfortable.

But I thought it makes sense to take his question literally--"what did I do to deserve this?" OK--what DID he do, that he chose this person, and that their relationship has developed this way? What attracted him to her, and vice-versa? What "punishment" (bad karma) has he brought on himself, and what "rewards"? Etc.
 

jolie_amethyst

I think Debra absolutely nailed it with her analysis and spread. Your friend is playing the victim here instead of taking responsibility for his choices in this lifetime. After all, what if he didn't do anything karma-wise to deserve this...what if the "only" thing he did wrong was to show bad judgement in his choice of partners in the here and now? A "what did I do to deserve this?" spread that merely looked for bad Karma wouldn't show his poor decision-making was at fault, while if there IS a Karmic issue, I bet it shows in Debra's spread, possibly through a preponderance of Majors.

It's easier to blame Fate or bad Karma than it is to face facts and work towards a solution. Sorry to say, the Queen of Swords in me doesn't tolerate that kind of lying to oneself very well. Seeking to reveal his responsibility in the relationship and giving him action towards improving things is the way to go.