Queen of cups clarified by lovers...

Silverbells

I recently did a spread, it was all about someone's feelings. Anyhow, the Queen of Cups came up for how the person feels about me right now and I clarified it with Lovers.

That might seem very cut and dry but once or twice in the past, when I've done spreads, the queen of cups came up as feelings for me and then the guy would be in an open relationship (not cheating, open). I think that's happened twice so now when I get that card as feelings, I'm not sure what it could mean because it seems to me that the Queen of Cups is VERY loving and even stuck or concentrated on the object of love, so WHY is it coming up in those situation instead of another card (like the three of cups). Has anyone else had this experience or have any thoughts on this, especially as it came up in my reading being clarified by the Lovers? (Btw, I'm not with this person, and I also don't know what they're relationship status is. It is an ex - one of many that I've done spreads on, here :surprise:

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dancing_moon

Well, I would also see Queen of Cups+Lovers as warm and loving feelings, perhaps, also wanting to take a chance with you. Note that the question is, what the guy's feelings for you are, not what his relationship status is, and if it's an open relationship, he probably wouldn't feel like there's any triangle involved, hence absence of any 3-party cards (3 of Cups, 3 of Swords). And Lovers do have that 'choice of partners'/open options side to them.

Queen of Cups might also show more nurturing/motherly than romantic feelings, almost like the Empress, but focused exclusively on the emotional side of it, and no strings attached.

kx5

Instead of considering the two times the Queen of Cups signified an open relationship, think about its other appearances. Have there been times where the Queen of Cups meant something else apart from that? Have you gotten it in other spreads (of a romantic nature) in which it meant anything else apart from an open relationship?

Considering I do believe that QoC + Lovers is possibly positive, unless the Queen of Cups has never meant anything other than an open relationship to you (which I consider to be bad if you are trying to get back together, for instance), it could be that it actually has a good meaning this time. Clarified by the Lovers, maybe that ex is considering getting back together with you.

But then again, I can't be sure. You know better your card's lingo.

Grizabella

If you keep a Tarot journal, I suggest you journal on this card because it's easy to get stuck on one meaning when each card has a myriad of meanings. Also, the meanings of cards are so influenced by surrounding cards that they can mean almost anything.

Do you read with positional meanings? That helps a whole lot for me. I almost never read with just random cards in a line without positional meanings.

Silverbells

Hi dancing_moon

dancing_moon said:
Well, I would also see Queen of Cups+Lovers as warm and loving feelings, perhaps, also wanting to take a chance with you.

That's a good one. As focused as the QoC is, with the Lovers clarifying, it probably is leaning toward taking a chance with me.

dancing_moon said:
Note that the question is, what the guy's feelings for you are, not what his relationship status is, and if it's an open relationship, he probably wouldn't feel like there's any triangle involved, hence absence of any 3-party cards (3 of Cups, 3 of Swords). And Lovers do have that 'choice of partners'/open options side to them.

This is a good point about the question being key. I sometimes doubt the cards because in the back of my mind I always wonder if I'm being given extra info that I didn't ask about so I try to consider everything and then go insane over the possibilities. AND Not being an "open-relationship" person myself, I have a hard time understanding the emotional dynamics but perhaps you are right about the "no triangle perceived" situation. Thanks

Hi kx5 Thank you

kx5 said:
Instead of considering the two times the Queen of Cups signified an open relationship, think about its other appearances. Have there been times where the Queen of Cups meant something else apart from that? Have you gotten it in other spreads (of a romantic nature) in which it meant anything else apart from an open relationship?

Other than those couple of times, it has always meant examining and feeling ones own feelings and honoring them...

kx5 said:
Clarified by the Lovers, maybe that ex is considering getting back together with you.

This would be nice and I would agree with both you and dancing_moon on this if I saw them in a spread for someone else...those darned (two) experiences have scarred me, I think lol. I need to always keep an open mind in both "positive" and "negative" directions (which is hard to navigate when the reading is for oneself).

Hi Grizabella

Grizabella said:
If you keep a Tarot journal, I suggest you journal on this card because it's easy to get stuck on one meaning when each card has a myriad of meanings. Also, the meanings of cards are so influenced by surrounding cards that they can mean almost anything.

I've thought about keeping a tarot journal and wondered if I should but I'm not sure that I'm a journal sort of person (then I wish that I had one when I pull a card that has always stumped me at the time of the reading and became clear later but I couldn't remember the exact spread...).

Grizabella said:
Do you read with positional meanings? That helps a whole lot for me. I almost never read with just random cards in a line without positional meanings.

I almost never read without positions. I tried to read without in the beginning but had little to no idea what was going on, so I started doing spreads with positions always. This spread had positions, they were: how he felt about me in the past (when certain things were going on); how he feels about me in the present; how he will feel about me in the future (the QoC w/Lovers was the present), and the question was what is his romantic outlook on me. I try to keep it ultra-specific so that there is no room for doubt. But that is pretty impossible. Thanks for your help, Grizabella, I really should keep a journal but somehow, I feel that if it doesn't stick in my head automatically, then I don't need to remember it...maybe I'm right. It sure would help to have a personal reference though.

kx5

Silverbells said:
Other than those couple of times, it has always meant examining and feeling ones own feelings and honoring them...

As Grizabella said, unless you're 100% sure, don't let a couple of bad experiences scare you, the QoC can have quite a few, a lot gentler, interpretations, and things seem to have the potential to be quite positive with your ex

That said, please do update us on the matter, I'd be surprised to see the QoC as an open relationship significator again.

Silverbells

Thanks. I will try to update because I do expect a firm outcome soon. I'm not expecting the "open relationship" meaning with this person either, really, but past readings were freaking me out. Thanks again.

Silverbells

UPDATE

Hello Good People,
So there is not much to update...but I'll tell you what I think. I have not had any material contact with this person (I never made a move to have contact). Other than what seems like him stalking my FB page, he has not made any material move on me. I believe he had a GF at the time but it seems that they have broken up (she appears to have been his rebound from me). That's all.

In reference to the whole "how I should read the Queen of Cups" dilemma: I was reading the QofC as "feelings about the other woman in an open relationship" because RW QoC is holding a vessel and I looked at it as the second women in the open relationship being a vessel ie. stand-in for the main woman...in other words: the main woman is the one who possesses his emotions, the second woman is the one who gets to act primarily as the manifestation of those emotions (sex is mainly what I'm indicating here with the use of the word vessel) she could also be the emotional/sexual consolation prize when the other one is not around.

I have since shifted my perspective a bit (life's journey) and while it may still have that meaning in a sense, I don't expect it to come up precisely in that way when it appears for a man's feelings for me in the future. Thank you all for your responses. See you 'round the forum

P.S. I'm over this person. Not necessarily over the pain and confusion of the situation but the person?: YES (thank goodness).