Repeating Judgement Card in Relationship Readings! Help!

Thanks Queenlove

I think he loves me but is in denial. That's why it's so hard. That's why he's not ready to go public. He once told me he loved me but quickly pretended he never said it. During New year's eve, there was an outpouring of emotions from him but after that, he turned cold. he seems to be afraid to be fully vested.

Noob said:

In my own readings (last week, haven't done another one in the last six days), I kept getting the judgement card. THREE TIMES in a row.

Could anyone tell me what judgement card means in a relationship that's difficult but we both love each other? The main issue is that while we are very happy together, he seems to have problems making the relationship public. He likes to keep up an image of being a free man who can't be tied down. I know a lot of you will get angry hearing about a man like this (but i love him! And we are soo happy when it's just the two of us), that you might just say leave him, but please be objective.

Thanks very much.

Regards,
Clueless

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QueenLove said:

Hi Noob,

I think the judgement card here is really literal. Use your best judgement, as in, weigh your head over your heart. If you eliminate as much ego as possible, what exactly does his proclamation of a relationship provide? Is it supporting the image you'd like to maintain that he is, in fact, attached to you, that you're desirable, a warning to other women to stay away? Are you marking your territory? Try to investigate what you're seeking from him.

I understand wanting to be claimed. I also understand not wanting to name a new person when there are a lot of past "new persons" you've called your own. I think you're both going to have to meet in the middle. His denial of you is certainly not good for you or for him, ultimately. It can create insecurity in you, and it is a burden for him to carry around a lie that he's not, in fact, interested in you.

Judgement is telling you to use your best judgement as to the causes, effect, and subsequent consequences of his decision or your acceptance. At what point will he feel comfortable? Where are your boundaries?

I think Judgement is asking for equal measure, practicality, and forward thinking. No judgement. We have all been in relationships others don't fully "get". As LTD says "what we have is much more than they could see."

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Thanks LeFou, but who is doing the judging?

I don't understand. According to your interpretation, it doesn't seem to be a conclusive card then.

LeFou said:

Sometimes Judgement hints at "going to the next level." If the person is "judged worthy," they take a very big step to the "next place." But if they are not "worthy," they don't.

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Noob said:

In my own readings (last week, haven't done another one in the last six days), I kept getting the judgement card. THREE TIMES in a row.

Could anyone tell me what judgement card means in a relationship that's difficult but we both love each other?

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My first impulse is to say that one or both of you are *making* it difficult by being Judgemental of each other.

My second impulse is that one or both of you need to take a long, hard look at *why* yould settle for this relationship.

The main issue is that while we are very happy together, he seems to have problems making the relationship public.

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Perhaps he is *Judgemental* of your appearance, your manners, your behaviour, or fears how other people might judge you if he isn't actually judging you hiself.

He likes to keep up an image of being a free man who can't be tied down.

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Perhaps he fears the Judgement of those of his friends who are also free - or who envy his supposed freedom.

I know a lot of you will get angry hearing about a man like this

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Why? You haven't said he's a hitter, or a belittler, or a thief, or an addict of any kind.

But everything you've yet said about the relationship shows more and more ways in which the card could potentially be completely descriptive.

I agree with Nisaba and I see Judgment here very clear. It's trying to tell you that you need to Judge/assist the situation and stop allowing the judgment/lack of thereof to solely fall on him.

You want a official commitment but for whatever reason he doesn't want to give you that and do you think that his actions and what he's giving you matches your desires? Obviously the answer to that is no, so now you need to make the decision and heed the call on whether or not you're going to settle for being unofficial or do you feel you deserve to be openly claimed.

The situation is what it is, Judgment is a major not a minor so what is going on is firm and steady in place meaning it's fruitless to make a decision on what you hope to materialize in the future. Judgment is telling you to make the decision based on the FACTS you are currently presented with which is he doesn't want to make things official with you.

It's your call on whether or not you want to accept it and feel it's in your better judgment to do so. This has nothing to do with him, it's you than needs to make the call and you can't speak or think for him either. The only facts you have is what he has presented to you and not what you think he's feeling or thinking. Judgment states you already have the info you need to make your decision, you just need to do it.