Feel like I've lost my faith in Tarot...

KristinCali

Lately I feel like I've lost my faith in tarot. I've never been "clairvoyant" or psychic or gifted at all, I just use the imagery and the generic card meanings.. but they've always given me good advice, peace of mind, and even sometimes hints into the future. In November my fiance was the only survivor in an accident. He suffered a brain injury that has left him without speech and he has been in the hospital with one complication after another. This has turned our worlds upside down. I feel like I've lost him. I'm leaving my job, leaving my friends, leaving my family, leaving my entire life behind to move to where he is in another state with his parents. This is the most traumatic thing I've ever gone through. Yet I feel like the cards gave me NOTHING in advance. And are still giving me nothing afterwards. I feel like I've been in a decent mindset each time I read but maybe I'm too distraught to read for myself? Or too upset to see what they might be saying? I just wanted to talk about this because I feel sad that I'm doubting my cards. It's like losing faith in your religion. Has anybody experienced anything similar? Or have any advice for how I can get back in tune with tarot?
 

Falcor

I am so sorry that you and him have to go through this...Be strong, hang on! I wish you both better times in the near future.

To me it definitely seems like you are not balanced enough to read atm. It happened to me before in certain topics and when I felt that I am too high or too down over something I have asked friends to read for me.

As to why cards didn't warn you, did you asked or made spreads with questions about something bad or a danger that is about to happen?

*sends hugs and positive energy*
 

Diessa

Just curious- why would you think the cards would warn you of something like this? Did you ask if a tragedy would befall you? Or, was there another reason why this event doesn't fit into a prediction you had?

Would you have wanted to know that this would happen? Not everything in life is avoidable- or at least, I do not believe everything in life is avoidable. I believe some things are part of life agreements that we don't understand, but for some reason, have chosen to experience.

Why you aren't receiving any insight or guidance now, though, after the fact I don't know. Perhaps you can't see it because you expected the cards to tell you this would happen and you no longer trust your inner guidance. I personally don't believe forewarning us of every unpleasant event is what the cards do.
 

Nemia

Dear Kristin Cali, first of all, like Falcor, I feel for you, going through a terrible time and standing in front of huge difficulties. Kudos to you for all you do.

Now I also want to tell you why your story doesn't shake my faith in tarot not at all. I never believed tarot could tell us world events outside ourselves that are unexpected, I never believed tarot could solve world riddles.

We'd all know what happened to Maddie McCann and every other disappeared child, we'd live a much more secure life, we'd know where to invest our money and where not to go for holidays etc.

But I never expected tarot to give me that kind of knowledge.

I believe tarot works like an amplifier or focal lense for our own intuition. So it's possible to "foresee" an event using tarot if the signals are clear already but you tried to ignore them. Let's say a friend behaves strangely, you rationalize it but in your heart of hearts you know you lost his affection - and then a tarot reading tells you so and allows you to open your eyes to that fact.

This is something the tarot can and will do, and it's great.

But how can a tool in your hand like the tarot foresee something you have no idea it will happen? yes, sometimes we have a "bad feeling" but very often, wen don't.

Tarot can't predict lottery numbers, earthquakes and the weather.

So don't feel you can't trust the tarot any more. Put your trust in tarot on a new fundament. Use it to explore the options you have now, use it to work through your feelings.

But IMO (and I'm sure many others will see it differently), you put TOO MUCH trust in the tarot before and over-taxed its strength. These beautiful little pieces of paper and ink depict archetypes of your soul but they can't give you the sight of past and future like through a telescope.

Realistic expectations won't be disappointed.

And for now, while you're in an uproar and you're stretched to your capacity, don't use the cards for readings. Use them for affirmations and meditation. Nurture yourself and your friend like the Empress. Try to see the Sun's light at the end of a tunnel.

You've been through a Tower event. Look for a card that can counter-act the Tower's negative energies, or that can send the negative disruptive energies into gentler directions.
 

Astraea

Kristin, this is clearly a period of existential crisis for you and your fiance and you need support on many levels. I'd like to recommend a forum for people dealing with brain and spinal cord injuries - there is a wealth of information and support there, both for patients and caregivers. It is called the CareCure Community, and it is run as an outreach of the Keck Center for Collaborative Neuroscience/Spinal Cord Injury Project at Rutgers University (http://keck.rutgers.edu). You can join the CareCure forum at this web address: http://sci.rutgers.edu

The forum is monitored by nurses trained and experienced in the treatment of brain and spinal cord injuries. Resources of all kinds can be found through the forum, and there is also a very active CareCure presence on Facebook.

I don't know why divinatory practices so often seem not to warn us in some way about cataclysmic change. Maybe we couldn't handle it, if they did; or maybe they do, and - given the broad spectrum of meaning available through divination - we don't immediately key into particular messages. There are times in our lives when we are simply jolted, gobsmacked, changed forever, and it has often seemed to me that those periods lift us right out of our internal environments, skill sets and viewpoints - it's as if we've been catapulted into another world altogether.

Tarot can probably companion you within this new situation, now that a definite set of circumstances has been constellated - and in the meantime a community of people who know what you're going through medically, emotionally and in terms of practical matters (equipment, agencies, treatments, facilities, finances) can be invaluable. I hope that the CareCure Community will be a source of assistance, information and comfort for you and your fiance.
 

HOLMES

hi

sorry that you are going through your hard time.

when I lost my niece in 2016, I had feelings of despair, and even had a quick warning come to me the week before but I discounted it for why would that happen. then it did ..I didn't read for myself but even if I did,, since I wouldn't be looking for it how would I even see it.

I am of the belief that as readers of the tarot, and natural psychic it is extremely hard to really read for ourselves. it is because we have to learn our own lessons and have our own experience.

and in the end,, there are things that we are not suppose to know.

I remember I had done a reading for a friend,, and her step died two months later and asked why didn't it show up in the reading.

well I think also that as positive readers we train ourselves not to look for death and sickness. but yeah I told her I wasn't looking for it.

perhaps you may just need to take break.. I know there been periods in my life where I did no readings, took a break from the tarot.. after my brother died.. or when I was so depressed by life.

we are human, and can only do so much, that we need to take time for ourselves.
and so take your time. perhaps you have to put the tarot down for a while.
 

Laiste

In december several people died that I knew, people who were very dear to me, and people I just knew by name. I just began to pick up my cards again and did daily draws with my faeries oracle and two different sets of tarot. There were a few times that the death card showed up by the faeries, never in my tarot cards. The day after someone told me about the dead of for example their mother... this happened a few times and I must say I became afraid of my cards, well the death card in my faeries deck ;) because I knew there were a few people who are very ill and somewhere every time i held my heart tight to hear who will it be... that's scary. In the past this has happened before, the death card appeared (from the faeries) when it wasn't going very well with one of my most beloved cats Smirre, deep down I knew what it was telling me but didn't want to believe this and ran away and went out with friends, that night she died, I wasn't there for her, I couldn't cope with it, if I hadn't knew it I would have been with her, it was hard to forgive myself for that.
I don't know if it is better to know, now you have been happy with him till the moment it happened, otherwise your heart was been burdened with pain, stress and sorrow and constantly what if, will or will it not happen and when. Maybe the cards didn't tell you to protect you...

I'm so so sorry for you that you have to experience this, and gratefull that there is already very good advice for you to find in the previous posts.

Like you work a lot with cards, I work a lot with crystals, for me they feel like beloved friends and companions. When my dear cat Phooka was severely ill, we worked a lot with energy and crystals next to her treatment. When she died, for a time I also couldn't lay my faith again in my crystals, I couldn't see the meaning of it any more, I felt empty and desillusioned, the feeling that I couldn't do anything to prevent it, to help her. At the end I realised this was meant to be, I had to experience all those feelings to heal a part of my past, she was there with her story to help me to heal my past. I couln't accept this, it felt so unfair that someone who was very dear to me sacrificed herself to heal me...so painful, but it was. (She died on the same day that my sister died and still hadn't integrated all the feeling, with the dead of Phooka everything came to the surface).
I only tell you this, through this I learned that Everything is connected and has a meaning, in the most dark times it's difficult to see, but there is, and there's so much help, so much love to support you through those times. The cards have been a part of my healingproces, I wish for you you also can find healing in them. Only realise that they are the tool, you are the healing...

And I wish you all the support, kindness, help and all the love you need to get through this difficult time...

With Love,
Sara*
 

KristinCali

First of all, THANK YOU every one of you for your kind words. I was definitely feeling down when I posted this and you all cheered me up just by taking the time to comment and share. It means a lot to me.


@Falcor and @Diessa, Yes! I actually did do 2 readings pertaining to him, just weeks before the accident. So that's why I feel so upset over it all.


@Nemia thank you for your insight. I needed your wisdom :D


@Astraea You helped me tremendously, I went in search of support and found a facebook group specifically for spouses of brain injury survivors and I have discovered a world of people going through the same feelings I am. Thank you for caring.


@Holems and @Laiste Thank you for sharing your stories with me. I am sending loving energy to you!
 

Astraea

I went in search of support and found a facebook group specifically for spouses of brain injury survivors and I have discovered a world of people going through the same feelings I am.
I am so glad that you have found such excellent support!
 

Debra

I don't know what to say about the cards but I'm so glad you sound like you're in a better place and I hope he is feeling stronger too ♥