rwcarter said:
I think I'm going to fight for the "how you should approach X with your new knowledge" position (although I think it needs to be renamed). Some people you can approach directly, some people you have to beat around the bush with, some situations you can just be blunt about and some situations you have to tiptoe around. That info isn't expressly addressed in the positions in your layout, although one might be able to glean that info from the difference between X's public and private faces about what's going on.
I had that line in but it just didn't seem to fit at the time. But I'm sure that it could be worked in there somewhere. Overall, I think that a person could probably get that information after looking at what their role should be (now they have all of these facts to work with), combined with what you should do/not do and why these two things are important.
As for my sample reading, when I laid down the three cards on top it was made very clear that (under the present circumstances) I shouldn't address this situation with X at all.
If the cards in those three top positions had been more positive and encouraging for addressing the situaion directly with X, then I would have looked at the later cards (found on the right side of the layout) for guidance on how to do that.
In my sample reading, this spread highlighted something that X REALLY doesn't want to talk about. It is a secret... maybe even to himself to some extent. The cards clearly told me that it wouldn't matter (at this time) how I approach/address X's situation with X because the fact is that nothing could be said that would improve the situation or help my friend. (Very depressing information, but it is what it is.) In fact, it would hurt my friend and damage our relationship. Heck, it would probably hurt me too to see such a bad reaction (perhaps even a denial of the problem) on his part.
In a nutshell, I would say that if you use the layout and questions I did, you should be prepared for a possibly hard-hitting result.
So you may be asking (as did I) the following question: "Why did the Tarot, through the use of this spread, reveal this touchy information about X to the Q?" Here is what I came up with after much thought.
--I'm sure that there are other issues in X's life but I think that this particular one was highlighted because it is something that I can do something about.
--Because I asked how to help X and to do that I needed to know what is going on otherwise I'm just stumbling in the dark without a flashlight.
--In this particular case, I'm the one that needs to know what it is going on (even if X doesn't feel that way) because I'm actually the source of this problem and I'm doing things that are adding fuel to the fire so to speak. Not a fun revelation, by the way, to know that you are causing such a problem for a friend that you really care about
--To warn me that verbally addressing this situation with X (at this time) would have a very negative reaction on X
--To give me guidance (the blunt, direct, in your face kind) of what I should be doing/ not doing to help my friend and the situation at hand (besides keeping my mouth shut.)
rwcarter said:
For a spread that started out to be about "What can I do for X at this point in their life?", it was turning into a spread more about the Querent than the Friend.
I actually found out a lot about my friend from this reading (perhaps too much!) Plus, it also forced me to put a mirror up and to examine my motives, plus what I am doing and thinking.
But the bottom line is that this reading really hit home for me these things:
1. As much I want to help my friend, I can't change my friend's thoughts, feelings, behaviors, or reactions. I can only control/change myself.
2. My choices and actions have consequences, not just for me but for others as well.
3. “It is difficult to say who do you the most harm: enemies with the worst intentions or friends with the best.” -Edward G. Bulwer-Lytton
4. Truly helping a friend may mean making some tough sacrifices.