Death as advice in relationship (CC)

Does Death as advice indicate the need to end a relationship and move on to someone new?

Being in what is best described as "a break" in my relationship, I received Death as the advice card in my CC spread. I'm torn on how to read it. At first I was happy to see it- I read it as "the situation will be transformed: the 'break' will end and the relationship will resume so be calm, don't try to control things, just let things evolve."

Yet, since I'm reading for myself and I fear seeing what I want in the cards, I'm a bit apprehensive to take that meaning; I did some poking around and what I've see indicates advice to end the relationship and become open to something new.

When looking to other cards:
the near future as The Emperor I read a new influx of inner confidence for creating stable and healthy boundaries and a level of self-reliance needed in healthy relationships; which then builds into the final card - KnoS - a "clearing of the air" and the energy to shift things into a more positive direction.
I can see both being support of my interpretation of Death as things shifting to the better.

Is this a case of me doubting myself . . . or a case of me seeing what I want?

moodclad said:

Does Death as advice indicate the need to end a relationship and move on to someone new?

Click to expand...

It can, amongst other things.

Being in what is best described as "a break" in my relationship, I received Death as the advice card in my CC spread. I'm torn on how to read it. At first I was happy to see it- I read it as "the situation will be transformed: the 'break' will end and the relationship will resume so be calm, don't try to control things, just let things evolve."

Click to expand...

This depends on whom describes the relationship as a :"break", you, or them, or both. Makes a difference, it really does. If one person thinks it's a break but the other person thinks it's ended and very much of the past, that makes a lot of difference.

Yet, since I'm reading for myself and I fear seeing what I want in the cards, I'm a bit apprehensive to take that meaning; I did some poking around and what I've see indicates advice to end the relationship and become open to something new.

Click to expand...

It may also indicate other things, in keeping with its nature. It may, for instance, indicate that in order to get this or future relationships to work better for you, you need to completely "end" something about the way you handle relationships or behave in them. As you have pulled it as advice, this is probably where it is trying to go with you.

The first thing that I thought of when I read what you wrote was similar to how you interpreted it. Accept that this relationship is over and that this is a good thing. Death is an important part of nature and all relationships do end so at some point so if this is the time then accepting it will help the healing happen faster. If the Death card was upright i would say that this ending is a necessary ending for both of you. Saying that and understanding that with our minds is far easier than accepting that in our hearts and moving on. So what does your mind say? Your logic? Do you see that ending this relationship could be a good thing?

nisaba said:

It can, amongst other things.


This depends on whom describes the relationship as a :"break", you, or them, or both. Makes a difference, it really does. If one person thinks it's a break but the other person thinks it's ended and very much of the past, that makes a lot of difference.


It may also indicate other things, in keeping with its nature. It may, for instance, indicate that in order to get this or future relationships to work better for you, you need to completely "end" something about the way you handle relationships or behave in them. As you have pulled it as advice, this is probably where it is trying to go with you.

Click to expand...

Ending my patterns - I can see that. What you say makes sense.
Thanks

nisaba said:

This depends on whom describes the relationship as a :"break", you, or them, or both. Makes a difference, it really does. If one person thinks it's a break but the other person thinks it's ended and very much of the past, that makes a lot of difference.

Click to expand...

Actually, if i may ask out of curiosity: What do you see as being the difference?

Intotouch said:

The first thing that I thought of when I read what you wrote was similar to how you interpreted it. Accept that this relationship is over and that this is a good thing. Death is an important part of nature and all relationships do end so at some point so if this is the time then accepting it will help the healing happen faster. If the Death card was upright i would say that this ending is a necessary ending for both of you. Saying that and understanding that with our minds is far easier than accepting that in our hearts and moving on. So what does your mind say? Your logic? Do you see that ending this relationship could be a good thing?

Click to expand...

Yep, that's the challenge: my heart and head don't match, and they take turns playing each side. .. which is why I turn to tarot for insight.

Death as advice: Hope for the best, prepare for the worst.

Death doesn't always mean actually killing something, i.e., making it die. Or gracefully embracing the death that has been dealt to you.

I see it, often, as a card of mourning.

Mourning is such an integral part of the death process.

It is not death itself that enables us to move on, but the respectful, and sometimes anguished, mourning for what was and no longer is.

Funerals. Rituals. Saying goodbye, with tears in your eyes. All this can be suggested by the Death card.

As advice, in your situation, perhaps it points to the need to formally mourn the end of your relationship and accept that, like a person who has died, it will be impossible for it ever to come back. Maybe this "break" is starting to feel claustrophobic, limbo-esque, soul-sucking... And the advice is to fully, 100%, accept that it is not a break but a loss. A death.

(Related note: can't stop thinking of Debra's 'funeral' scene in "Empire Records"! Maybe you need something like that, for catharsis..? A personal ritual of mourning?)

Death is a strange yet beautiful card. It is the counterpart to Empress ("mother nature"). Seasonally, Empress is spring, bursting with life, and Death is the harvest heading into winter.

We imagine our lives as discrete points in time. High points, low points, defined milestones. But it's really a continuum, one blends into another without boundaries. Death reminds us of the seasons, the passing of time, and necessity. We can resist the winter, but it's so much easier to accept it.

So cards aside, if you were your own best friend, what advice would you give yourself?

Update on this situation: As advice I now see this card as telling me that I needed to end my negative behavior and transform my mindframe into more positive one ... or to end the relationship.

This reading happened when we were on a "break" but we were actually still talking. We actually went out on a date around this time, after not seeing each other for months.
However, shortly thereafter (mid-september) we had a large eruption that ended all conversation.
Looking back - ending contact has been best for me due to issues in my life I was avoiding by focusing on him and our non-relationship. I'm guessing it's best for him as well, due to things he had happening at the same time.

I still miss him terribly.

Looking back I can see how things weren't as bad as I saw them at the time, and how much my fear was making it worse - till it just burnt up. I can see how things just kept feeding into the negative; he only got the worst of me-never the best of me.
Yet, I can see how I couldn't do any better at the time.

Things have gotten better for me than they were. Yet I know that I'm still not in a place were I can give my best self to anyone. My life is lacking stability at the moment, so my level of fear is still too high to be emotionally stable in a dating situation.

My focus now still need to be on me and creating that stability.

So ultimately I see Death as advice in that situation as either change my mindframe/behavior ... or life will change it for me.

Wish it was different, but I did the best I could with what I had at that time.

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