Is the Tower worse than three of swords?

Rachx

Hi I'm here with an update!
So- I decided to "stay there"and face the Tower. This was about ego. Some background - Basically, I had gone to spend a day (or two) with a man I have been seeing for over a year now. My 16yr old son generally stays at his dads Tuesdays and Wednesday evenings - which gives me the chance to work away or whatever. It's his exams however so I do like to be supportive and he is quite protective of me when it comes to seeing this guy so the three of swords represents him complaining about me staying with my BF and the sting of heartache I feel from that. However, I also had some news about a friend and colleague who had suffered a heart attack and had spent the week in hospital, which is also 3 swords.

The Tower happened this morning. I had decided to "stay there" last night rather than come home. The Tower was hearing that BF -who I see once a fortnight belongs to a club that are holding their meeting days on the Sundays of the very few weekends I see him and he has decided to do those days rather than see me. Arreggghhh - so a crushed ego for me, out of my control and didn't see it coming. I am pleased I know his priorities of course so the understanding is important. I am happy he has his hobby and stuff - as I do, but a little bit crushed that he would rather choose to do his hobby than see me :( . This is a fab example of the Tower being a crush to the ego. I had "assumed" (my ego had assumed!) that as we hardly see each other he would have wanted to see me rather than do these fortnightly Sundays. It's his hobby so he can choose to do them or not. I needed the understanding of where he is coming from which I gained as the Tower came down! Benefit is I no longer need to build anything on ego based assumptions that he would rather see me than do his hobby. I can now "build" a new tower on better understanding rather than ego assumptions. I'm pleased I know and have learned this - just superb example of the Tower! X
 

Ruby Jewel

Hi I'm here with an update!
So- I decided to "stay there"and face the Tower. This was about ego. Some background - Basically, I had gone to spend a day (or two) with a man I have been seeing for over a year now. My 16yr old son generally stays at his dads Tuesdays and Wednesday evenings - which gives me the chance to work away or whatever. It's his exams however so I do like to be supportive and he is quite protective of me when it comes to seeing this guy so the three of swords represents him complaining about me staying with my BF and the sting of heartache I feel from that. However, I also had some news about a friend and colleague who had suffered a heart attack and had spent the week in hospital, which is also 3 swords.

The Tower happened this morning. I had decided to "stay there" last night rather than come home. The Tower was hearing that BF -who I see once a fortnight belongs to a club that are holding their meeting days on the Sundays of the very few weekends I see him and he has decided to do those days rather than see me. Arreggghhh - so a crushed ego for me, out of my control and didn't see it coming. I am pleased I know his priorities of course so the understanding is important. I am happy he has his hobby and stuff - as I do, but a little bit crushed that he would rather choose to do his hobby than see me :( . This is a fab example of the Tower being a crush to the ego. I had "assumed" (my ego had assumed!) that as we hardly see each other he would have wanted to see me rather than do these fortnightly Sundays. It's his hobby so he can choose to do them or not. I needed the understanding of where he is coming from which I gained as the Tower came down! Benefit is I no longer need to build anything on ego based assumptions that he would rather see me than do his hobby. I can now "build" a new tower on better understanding rather than ego assumptions. I'm pleased I know and have learned this - just superb example of the Tower! X

So, Rachx....I would be interested to know first of all, what was the question, and second, what is your "better understanding" upon which you are rebuilding this new tower? And how does the 3 of Swords fit into this scenario with your BF and the coming down of the Tower? Because the 3 of Swords is relative to the Tower imo. The Tower is sort of like a mask...a facade behind which one hides. When the Tower comes down you see the truth of the situation (3 of Swords). The tower is like a prison....why build another one?
 

Rachx

So, Rachx....I would be interested to know first of all, what was the question, and second, what is your "better understanding" upon which you are rebuilding this new tower? And how does the 3 of Swords fit into this scenario with your BF and the coming down of the Tower? Because the 3 of Swords is relative to the Tower imo. The Tower is sort of like a mask...a facade behind which one hides. When the Tower comes down you see the truth of the situation (3 of Swords). The tower is like a prison....why build another one?



Hi Ruby, I was trying to decide between staying a second night at boyfriends or coming home. I did a choice comparison spread. The first choice come home contained the 3 sw - which at the time could have meant the heartache of missing the BF as i had come home rather than stay and also the complaint from my son about staying with BF. But now I think means the heart attack of my friend. As it was a comparison of choices maybe I won't know the 3 sw as I decided to stay at BF and face the Tower

The stay choice contained the Tower, I stayed the second night and by doing so learned that he has booked my child free Sundays to do his hobby instead of seeing me. Now that was a real bash to my ego as I had assumed that he would like to see me in my child free Sundays. A complete assumption on my part, and an ego assumption at that! So the Tower means something built on poor foundations and can be a blow to the ego- exactly what happened here! The new learning of course is insight into his priorities and the learning from your quote of Polonius from Hamlet "to thine own self be true" - everyposter had some truth in their take and a real good example of the Tower xx

The 3 sw as heartattack of my friend I would have found out anyway and Tower I would have found out anyway in the end
 

Ruby Jewel

Hi Ruby, I was trying to decide between staying a second night at boyfriends or coming home. I did a choice comparison spread. The first choice come home contained the 3 sw - which at the time could have meant the heartache of missing the BF as i had come home rather than stay and also the complaint from my son about staying with BF. But now I think means the heart attack of my friend. As it was a comparison of choices maybe I won't know the 3 sw as I decided to stay at BF and face the Tower

The stay choice contained the Tower, I stayed the second night and by doing so learned that he has booked my child free Sundays to do his hobby instead of seeing me. Now that was a real bash to my ego as I had assumed that he would like to see me in my child free Sundays. A complete assumption on my part, and an ego assumption at that! So the Tower means something built on poor foundations and can be a blow to the ego- exactly what happened here! The new learning of course is insight into his priorities and the learning from your quote of Polonius from Hamlet "to thine own self be true" - everyposter had some truth in their take and a real good example of the Tower xx

The 3 sw as heartattack of my friend I would have found out anyway and Tower I would have found out anyway in the end

Hi Rachx....thank you for the clarification here. I would like to add my 2-cents worth to this...even though at this point I don't know exactly what it is I want to say....maybe it will materialize as I tread the path...it is just that something doesn't feel right to me here....and it is hard to put my finger on it. First of all, the question was not about your friend, so I don't see how the 3 of S would be referring to that. It seems clear to me that the 3 of S is the pain you felt by being torn between your son and your BF.....that can be very painful and guilt-ridden...and it is also 3 people. The Tower, though is another matter..if you stay at BF's you get the Tower...hmmm. So, then you got the Tower, but why do you say the Tower is your ego? Was it your ego that made you assume the time you two had together was as important to him as it was to you? That doesn't sound like ego to me. Are you supposed to assume the time you have together is of such little consequence that he would brush it aside without at least a heart-to-heart talk? Your feelings should matter to him enough to do that. That is called consideration/respect. The Tower coming down is the deconstruction of a "construction/relationship" that says it is built on the shifting sands....ie, illusions. I do not see you as wrong in believing you are as important as you deserve to be. The Tower, imo, came down to show you the truth about your relationship...not that your ego is out of proportion. Just my thoughts here...for whatever they are worth.....perhaps nothing, but I feel better said than not.
 

Rachx

Hi Rachx....thank you for the clarification here. I would like to add my 2-cents worth to this...even though at this point I don't know exactly what it is I want to say....maybe it will materialize as I tread the path...it is just that something doesn't feel right to me here....and it is hard to put my finger on it. First of all, the questions I was not about your friend, so I don't see how the 3 of S would be referring to that. It seems clear to me that the 3 of S is the pain you felt by being torn between your son and your BF.....that can be very painful and guilt-ridden...and it is also 3 people. The Tower, though is another matter..if you stay at BF's you get the Tower...hmmm. So, then you got the Tower, but why do you say the Tower is your ego? Was it your ego that made you assume the time you two had together was as important to him as it was to you? That doesn't sound like ego to me. Are you supposed to assume the time you have together is of such little consequence that he would brush it aside without at least a heart-to-heart talk? Your feelings should matter to him enough to do that. That is called consideration/respect. The Tower coming down is the deconstruction of a "construction/relationship" that says it is built on the shifting sands....ie, illusions. I do not see you as wrong in believing you are as important as you deserve to be. The Tower, imo, came down to show you the truth about your relationship...not that your ego is out of proportion. Just my thoughts here...for whatever they are worth.....perhaps nothing, but I feel better said than not.



Hi Ruby, thank you. We haven't discussed my feelings as I was leaving when I found out. He hadn't mentioned anything during those days. So it was my intuition made me ask a question! I don't even know what made me ask as I wouldn't normally! I do think I am important to deserve respect and have my feelings counted. This is perhaps the lesson. I truly believe that people are going to do what they are going to do regardless! Accommodating Virgo with my Pisces slippery fish again? The Hierophant. We will see. I am a single mum and I can't commit to a full on relationship as my son takes precedence. I try not to get too attached to this man because our relationship is a kind of once or twice a week, which suits me. I have to trust him implicitly otherwise I could spend my life paranoid! Adding two and two and getting five :) I am falling for him of course and I do need to be wary and warning taken. We are here for such a short time. Xx
 

Ruby Jewel

Hi Ruby, thank you. We haven't discussed my feelings as I was leaving when I found out. He hadn't mentioned anything during those days. So it was my intuition made me ask a question! I don't even know what made me ask as I wouldn't normally! I do think I am important to deserve respect and have my feelings counted. This is perhaps the lesson. I truly believe that people are going to do what they are going to do regardless! Accommodating Virgo with my Pisces slippery fish again? The Hierophant. We will see. I am a single mum and I can't commit to a full on relationship as my son takes precedence. I try not to get too attached to this man because our relationship is a kind of once or twice a week, which suits me. I have to trust him implicitly otherwise I could spend my life paranoid! Adding two and two and getting five :) I am falling for him of course and I do need to be wary and warning taken. We are here for such a short time. Xx

You are most welcome, Rachx. Sounds as though you are very intuitive..especially with a Pisces ..... is it moon or rising? Either way, you have excellent intuition. I drew 3 Lenormand cards to ask about my advice to you here and drew Fox, Scythe, Mice....amazing. Fox w/ Scythe is "cutting to the chase." Mice says it will happen in little bites.....so I am glad to know that you are aware.....good luck.
 

Rachx

Thanks Ruby - will PM you as we are probs overstepping the rules for discussions on this forum thread. X
 

Rachx

You are most welcome, Rachx. Sounds as though you are very intuitive..especially with a Pisces ..... is it moon or rising? Either way, you have excellent intuition. I drew 3 Lenormand cards to ask about my advice to you here and drew Fox, Scythe, Mice....amazing. Fox w/ Scythe is "cutting to the chase." Mice says it will happen in little bites.....so I am glad to know that you are aware.....good luck.



Just checked out Lenormand and fox means tricky; scythe means danger and mice means loss?
 

Ruby Jewel

Just checked out Lenormand and fox means tricky; scythe means danger and mice means loss?

The question was about my advice I gave you and I quoted Caitlin Matthews on "Fox + Scythe." Her first definition is "Cutting to the chase." Cutting to the chase means quitting the idle talk and going straight to the point. I'm not really sure how to interpret the mouse except that it is a slower version of scythe as they both mean cutting...one fast and the other slow..perhaps mouse meaning the point might be realized slowly.
 

Rachx

That makes sense for your advice. Just cutting to the heart of it.