How Do You ask about Divorce (or other 'negative states/processes'?

Bonny

This. But for any reading - I read the cards the same way. Look at them and see what they have to say. If I ask how a funeral will go (not the sort of question I'd ever ask, really) of course you can get positive results for that. It was a lovely occasion; people said good things; the flowers were great. Funerals may be sad - but that doesn't mean the cards have to assumed to be negative - sad occasions can go really well.

If you get what you call positive cards (and no cards are unrelentingly positive anyway - you suggest, for instance, the sun - which can equally result in terrible sunburn, heatstroke etc, for just one example) for a simple is he getting divorced (well, for a start you don't need three cards for that; yes no questions are not the best use of tarot) you can call it a yes, sure. But that isn't at all the same thing as saying such a divorce would be a good thing. And then again - it could be good for some people and not others. It really isn't that simple.

"What would be the result for everyone if he got a divorce" would be a lot more useful all round. And that wouldn't turn up a simplistic answer like "yes" - which to be honest doesn't get anyone any further. A question like that is best asked of the person involved, not of the cards.

It gets so complicated Gregory, doesn't it - agreed!
Yes, on topics such as these there is due diligence required to approach properly.
Thank-You fir the discussion points on the various points of view - thats most instructive. I will re-think this through and consider , Thanks So much fir your deep thoughts on it!!

Bless
 

Bonny

As others have said, you need to look at how you're asking your question.

"Is he getting divorced now?" is a question that needs a yes / no answer and unless you have a special deck that has a 'yes' card and a 'no' card or you have a specific system in place for yes / no questions, the answers you get will always be ambiguous and since you seem to have a vested interest in a certain answer, you're not going to be able to interpret the cards objectively.

You need to ask open question with tarot, questions that allow the cards to describe a situation.

'What's happening with his marriage right now?'
'What do I need to know about his marriage?'

Bear in mind that since you're not involved in the marriage, the answers you get may not be accurate answers at all.. I don't think tarot is very good at answering questions that we as the querant aren't involved in.

The best thing to do is probably ask him yourself.



Thanks Sulis, thats practical and builds a sense of what's actually possible in the reading process.
The sense of the description of rather than the yes/no kind of approach is helpful.

Thank-You so much!

Bless
 

Bonny

Semantics is precisely the problem.

Forming good questions is a skill that is often overlooked in learning tarot. As has already been mentioned, asking questions that can be answered yes/no is often the source of the confusion. The first step is to help the querent understand that the question itself is going to lead to an answer that is hard to interpret.

Yes/no questions are seldom a good way to phrase the inquiry.

Even if you move away from yes/no, it is still the structure of the question that usually creates the confusion in the reading. So rather than worry about how to read the answer to an unclear question, work on how to create a question that leads to a clear answer.


Yes Crystalseas,

I think this is very true!!!!
half the head aches are gone by the use of a good , well structured question!

This is something I could work on, thats fircsure.

Bless
 

Bonny

If you are having problems with yes or no questions/answers... it could be the question. Example..you may need to reword it from Is he getting a divorce now? to a question like "What is he actually going to do about getting a divorce? Someones thoughts/feelings about something isn't necessarily what they will do in the end. They can 'feel/think" a certain way, but not act on that. I think you are wanting to know what he IS going to do, right?

If you keep having trouble understanding the answer...you may need to look at maybe you don't really want to know the answer. Especially if it isn't what you want. Just food for thought. Meaning sometimes we "know" the answer but whether on purpose or subconsciously just don't want that answer. Not saying that is the case with your question.... just in general about yes/no readings/answers.


Hope that helps!
BeyondtheVeil

Thanks BeyondtheVeil,

I really appreciate these suggested questions.
Yes, it is very important to be ready for the answer.
Thank you very much for your kind and generous thoughts and support.

Bless
 

BeyondtheVeil

Bonny

Thanks BeyondtheVeil,

I really appreciate these suggested questions.
Yes, it is very important to be ready for the answer.
Thank you very much for your kind and generous thoughts and support.

Bless

You're welcome! :heart:

I'm glad to help! This board is full of members who like to help and it still teaches me lots also. :)

Brightest Blessings!
BeyondtheVeil
 

Blessed

Gosh, therecis something about the mère tobe of your response that is setting the ship in the right flow and is healing!

Thank you!!

I want to ré-read this a few more times. You put it so wisely.
I like the thought of the CC or something more particular re the Spread fashioning.

Bless

You are very welcome! Wish you all the best with your future readings!
 

page of ghosts

I'm getting around to reading Joan Bunnings book and she has some good ideas for things to keep in mind when coming up with a question. She has the entire thing online so I'll link you up with chapter 7. She discusses several different aspects, some I haven't thought of before, that makes your question a good one so you get the most out of your reading. I figured it might be good in this thread :)

http://learntarot.com/less7.htm
 

Bonny

I'm getting around to reading Joan Bunnings book and she has some good ideas for things to keep in mind when coming up with a question. She has the entire thing online so I'll link you up with chapter 7. She discusses several different aspects, some I haven't thought of before, that makes your question a good one so you get the most out of your reading. I figured it might be good in this thread :)

http://learntarot.com/less7.htm

That's awesome!!!

Thank you very much for your thoughtful help with this.

This is very generous!

Thanks so much!

Bonny x
 

Ruby Jewel

Hi There,

When asking a question, as an apprentice tarot reader, I tend to try to simplify the question such that the presenting cards are fairly easy to distinguish in terms of a result.

The problem arises on questions that involve 'negatives' such that the cards, in affirming the existence of that negative phenomenon seems to give the opposite result/meaning.

Here it is:

Is he getting divorced now?

If I get affirmative cards screaming YES in a traditional sense, eg, 'Sun, temperance, world'

I might say yes... but the suggestion of the good times, celebrations, patience and communication in these cards might make my head spin with, 'wait, maybe he is trying to work it out with her'?

If I get '8 swords, 9 swords, 5 coins' - these cards would paint a picture of no, taken on the calibration they imbibé in and of themselves. But should I then infer that he is trapped, stressed and excluding himself from this (divorce) process via these cards?

Helpful Suggestions welcome!

Bonny:)

My way of dealing with this issue is to say neither the cards nor I "predict". They reveal the energy surrounding the issue. Also, the energy never involves a 3rd person...the spirits, if you will, do not gossip. They simply reveal what is going on around the querent and a person they are involved with. To ask if two other people are getting a divorce now..... that is a leading question....leads into someone else's private relationship with a third person. It is called "snooping" and I consider it unethical. But, of course, to each his own.
 

Maru

The main problem I see with asking yes-or-no questions and then trying to read too deeply into the multi-layered meanings of the cards in the spread is that you can basically make them say anything you want. That's why I've been experimenting with ways to deduce an answer without getting too literal about what each card means in an interpretive sense. This is my latest attempt, which uses elemental dignities to come up with a "probability" profile. The sample reading is a good example of how it works.

http://www.tarotforum.net/showthread.php?t=271096

This is a good idea actually. I do this intuitively. I find that reading the cards and treating them as energies rather than meanings, it's easier to find the "instabilities" and "hostilities" between those particular depictions... still I think this works better with an intuitive touch. But the mathematical approach is very interesting.

I kind of do those loose percentage deductions in my head based on what is more likely to "round off" the more positive energies in a spread. In other words, which path will win out?... I think that's a good recipe for manifestation work (i.e. fortune telling, pattern prediction, block removal, etc).

It works very well in self-reads and I no longer treat cards as meanings, but chemicals fitting within a total mixture (the main spread).