Miradeck
I'm glad I gave you some added insight.
Don't forget that little bitty snail in the foreground in the Rider Waite deck. It's self-contained and self-sufficient.
I've always told the women I've sponsored in my 12 step program "If you NEED a man, then the last thing you really need is a man." The reason for that is that when we feel this aching, frantic search for a relationship, then that's when we're the least suited to enter a relationship. If we can grow in self-esteem and self love so we don't NEED a partner, that's when the right one will enter our lives.
ETA: It's off topic, but this month on the 5th I had my 32nd anniversary of sobriety.
I'm fully with you on this, when you stop searching and start being comfortable in your own skin, that's when things slowly fall in place. Thanks