3 of Cups: Love or Friendship?

elena_jaymz

Barleywine said:
The difference between the 2 of Cups and the 3 of Cups in a relationship scenario is an interesting one. Rather than diving right into a locked-down, air-tight, breathless one-on-one commitment as suggested by the 2 of Cups (in the words of the Roxy Music song, "Face to face, toe to toe/Heart to heart . . ."), the 3 of Cups advises something a bit more open-ended, with a little more "breathing room." It strikes me as a better way to start a relationship, since the "L" word can stay in the background for a while. I'm surprised nobody has mentioned the old cliche about a threesome or "love triangle" here; personally, I almost never see it as applicable, but I know many do. However, in this regard, I might consider it as representing "complications" simply because Three is less linear than Two, implying less of a mutually reciprocal arrangement.

Hi Barleywine, thanks for your insights. I had the same feeling, a sort of a more "breathing room" bond and probably a more open-ended one, nothing too much serious probably

anyway then time will tell.

PenPendragon

elena_jaymz said:
Hi guys, I was wondering about what the 3 of Cups could mean as potential between two persons, especially those starting to get to know each other.
I think this card talks about celebration and having a good time with your loved ones and friends, that is to say those you have a very strong emotional bond with. But what could it mean as potential between two persons? Does it point to strenghten a friendship or perhaps a friendship resulting then into a love relationship? I don't often draw this card, so I'm a bit confused about its meaning, but to me it looks more like a strenghtening of a friendship.

What do you think? Thanks.

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I read the 3 of Cups as reference to trusted friendship, happy times spent with friends, conviviality among equals, lighthearted enjoyment of life...if well aspected. But if excess appears via other cards or 3 of Cups is reversed, mindless 'partying', untrustworthy companions or being one, trying to loose oneself in revelry. Compared to the 2 of Cups..which I see as levels of romance, meeting and attraction, extending to flirtation to 'leaping about' to laser focus on the Other, the 3 of Cups would add needed breadth and depth. Sexuality without trust or friendship equals a one night stand. If the Seeker asks about a love interest and if they could have a long term relationship, if the Other only wants a fling, then the 3 of Cups would answer the question.
Pen

elena_jaymz

PenPendragon said:
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I read the 3 of Cups as reference to trusted friendship, happy times spent with friends, conviviality among equals, lighthearted enjoyment of life...if well aspected. But if excess appears via other cards or 3 of Cups is reversed, mindless 'partying', untrustworthy companions or being one, trying to loose oneself in revelry. Compared to the 2 of Cups..which I see as levels of romance, meeting and attraction, extending to flirtation to 'leaping about' to laser focus on the Other, the 3 of Cups would add needed breadth and depth. Sexuality without trust or friendship equals a one night stand. If the Seeker asks about a love interest and if they could have a long term relationship, if the Other only wants a fling, then the 3 of Cups would answer the question.
Pen

Thank you so much PenPendragon, I see this card exactly as you've described it.

Esk

Usually the 3 of cups is a card of friendship in my readings. Everytime I've seen it for a love interest it turned up that the other is only interested in being friend with me. However it appeared once or twice for established relationships, probably when the lovers are also good friends and have a lot in common.
But of course a friendship is a good start and can become a romance later

elena_jaymz

Esk said:
Usually the 3 of cups is a card of friendship in my readings. Everytime I've seen it for a love interest it turned up that the other is only interested in being friend with me. However it appeared once or twice for established relationships, probably when the lovers are also good friends and have a lot in common.
But of course a friendship is a good start and can become a romance later

Hi Esk, thanks for your reply! I agree, it looks more like a friendship where the two persons have a strong emotional bond and yes, who knows, it can also become a romance in the future

Grizabella

nisaba said:
Well, it could mean that it's important to enjoy each other's company, develop a friendship, and get to know each other and enjoy fun times together before even thinking of being romantically involved.

(Romances always last longer and are happier, in my experience, if you take time to be friends first, so the card really isn't wrong).

I agree with nisaba.

I think where people often go wrong in thinking of love vs. "just" friendship is that they're linking physical attraction and sex with love, confusing the two. Love is love even without the physical and it's the most secure when it doesn't get mucked up by throwing sex into the mix. Sex isn't love. Therefore, a loving friendship without sex is often just as enduring, if not more so.

elena_jaymz

Grizabella said:
I agree with nisaba.

I think where people often go wrong in thinking of love vs. "just" friendship is that they're linking physical attraction and sex with love, confusing the two. Love is love even without the physical and it's the most secure when it doesn't get mucked up by throwing sex into the mix. Sex isn't love. Therefore, a loving friendship without sex is often just as enduring, if not more so.

Hi Grizabella, thanks for your reply. Yes, sometimes we confuse physical attraction with love and end up having sex with a person we don't really trust, someone we don't really love. First we need to get to know that person and then see if it's worth to "go further".

PenPendragon

Yes, and sometimes one person in a love relationship is honest themselves and has complete trust in the other, but the other does not do the same in the relationship...i.e. there's love...then there's *love*. Perhaps the difference is a foundation of friendship beneath
the romance? When one is young and foolish, one doesn't know love (in it's many incarnations) can exist without friendship but eventually we all learn the necessity of having both. The quote,"In perfect love and perfect trust...." shows wisdom.
Pen

elena_jaymz

PenPendragon said:
Yes, and sometimes one person in a love relationship is honest themselves and has complete trust in the other, but the other does not do the same in the relationship...i.e. there's love...then there's *love*. Perhaps the difference is a foundation of friendship beneath
the romance? When one is young and foolish, one doesn't know love (in it's many incarnations) can exist without friendship but eventually we all learn the necessity of having both. The quote,"In perfect love and perfect trust...." shows wisdom.
Pen

Thanks again Pen. That's true, trust is the key here, without that neither love, nor sex can work out or anyway that's how I see the whole thing.

PenPendragon

elena_jaymz said:
Thanks again Pen. That's true, trust is the key here, without that neither love, nor sex can work out or anyway that's how I see the whole thing.

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Elena, True, that is the bottom line...'trust', without which there can be no real relationship, not in a family, friendship or romance. Betrayal of trust is the worst...perhaps that level of pain is expressed by the Nine of Swords... resulting in the Ten of Swords. I've been there. The most devastating betrayal I have had included sabotage and 'assassination', and was done by my prof. in a Ph.D. program. Unexpected. The Tower.
Pen