King of Swords + Ace of Cups = Head vs Heart?

siyxx

Hi! I'm new here so forgive me if I made any mistakes! I've been reading Tarot for a while now (2 years) and this forum has been a great help for the process of learning.

Anyway, I've been knowing this guy for a while now...at first we started out as a friend because we live in different countries. Then we got to spend some time together when he flew to see me for the fist time weeks ago and things escalated pretty quickly from that. However, when it came to the point where we discussed sex, he withdrew even when we were pretty clear that this whole business was "for a sake of being together and have a good time". I did ask him why but he only gave out a vague answer about things in the past so I didn't push. As a Queen of Wands kind of girl, of course I am confused about all this lol

So I asked the question "Why didn't he want to be intimate with me?" and the result was King of Swords, Ace of Cups and Knight of Cups. Usually I do the "free reading" meaning I don't mark positions for the cards, just do the overall interpretations.

I think this is an interesting combination. In this case I see the clash between the head and the heart? The logic vs the emotions? Does it mean he has feelings for me (ace of cups) but because of some ideology he has about romance (knight of cups) he feels like it's not the right thing to do at the moment (king of swords)? Maybe he needs more time to see things through a mist of emotions and have clearer thoughts about "us" before taking actions?

Or does this mean he has only platonic feeling for me (ace of cups) and nothing more?

Any thoughts on this?

NOTE:
- King of Swords is definitely his card because he's the kind of guy who goes for the "right" thing even if it hurt him. It always shows up when I do the readings about him.

tapasr_57772aeb7

He wants feelings before he does so.

Esk

I think your guy as strong opinion about having sex just for sex. It seems he doesn't like that and it's against his values. For him it isn't right. If he talked about something in the past it is probably that he slept with a friend just for fun and it ended badly (maybe for him), and now he is very stric about this kind of things and follow what his brain says to him.
Furthermore he seems to me that he has some romantic feelings for you and value these feelings more than sex. With the knight of cups it can be that he has some kind of perfect fantasy about what a romantic relationship should be. Maybe you underlined more the physical aspect of the relationship and not the feelings. Maybe you should see if talking about feelings makes him open more (if you have feelings for him of course).
It's just a guess but maybe it's difficult for him to admit that because it's generally not a male personality trait.

Blessed

Hello siyxx and welcome to the forum!

Hmm... interesting cards. I can see two potential explanations:

1. As you and tapasr_57772aeb7 said, he puts emotions over physicality and he needs some romantic/emotional background to be set first. For example you two getting to know each other better, bonding a little first, let the feelings flow.

2. Personally, the first thing I thought, was that he is actually the Knight of Cups in this instance and that there is an older male figure greatly influencing his love life - a father? an older brother? Someone else entirely?

Of course, I could be wrong and this is just my personal opinion, but it struck me as odd how he evaded your question when you asked him why he was reluctant to proceed.
Why not just frankly say he needs some time and emotional affirmation first?

One thing that confuses me is this phrase of yours:
'we were pretty clear that this whole business was "for a sake of being together and have a good time".' - do you mean that you had actually some sort of 'agreement' or understanding that this was going to be just physical and a non-exclusive affair, a one-time kind of thing? Because, if this is the case, I think your original interpretation is spot-on and that it is very likely that he developed deeper feelings about you and he wants a more emotional approach. Still, why not be honest about it...?

siyxx

Thanks everyone for the input! sometimes I feel like we read tarot based on what we want to believe (we are human after all) so it's great to hear things from other perspectives too!

Blessed said:
Hello siyxx and welcome to the forum!

1. As you and tapasr_57772aeb7 said, he puts emotions over physicality and he needs some romantic/emotional background to be set first. For example you two getting to know each other better, bonding a little first, let the feelings flow.

2. Personally, the first thing I thought, was that he is actually the Knight of Cups in this instance and that there is an older male figure greatly influencing his love life - a father? an older brother? Someone else entirely?

Of course, I could be wrong and this is just my personal opinion, but it struck me as odd how he evaded your question when you asked him why he was reluctant to proceed.
Why not just frankly say he needs some time and emotional affirmation first?

One thing that confuses me is this phrase of yours:
'we were pretty clear that this whole business was "for a sake of being together and have a good time".' - do you mean that you had actually some sort of 'agreement' or understanding that this was going to be just physical and a non-exclusive affair, a one-time kind of thing? Because, if this is the case, I think your original interpretation is spot-on and that it is very likely that he developed deeper feelings about you and he wants a more emotional approach. Still, why not be honest about it...?

Yeah it was the last day of his visit so we had a mutual 'understanding' that we are not even living on the same continent as of now and we won't be seeing each other in probably a while (like months or so). So we were like "for a sake of now and being together let's have a good time and see where it takes us" kind of agreement. We were both very much enjoying each other's company, to say the least.

And I think your second interpretation is interesting because I haven't thought of that before. In fact...he could be Knight of Cups too! The guy's a romantic alright, always talking about his dreams of having a nice family with kids and all. Maybe it's something inside him that I need more time to figure out. Maybe something in the past left him traumatized (?) so he's now trying to be someone more like the King of Swords, using logic and head rather than his heart when it comes to this kind of thing.

Sulis

Moderator note - Feedback

Hi siyxx,

Could you please leave some feedback for Esk and tapasr_57772aeb?

We ask that thread starters leave feedback for each person who replies.. We're all learning here and threads are supposed to be equal exchanges.. I know from experience that it's not very nice to see others get feedback for the readings they've done and getting none myself.

Here's what the posting rules (click here and please read) say - some feedback tips:

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Sulis - moderator

siyxx

Sulis said:
Hi siyxx,

Could you please leave some feedback for Esk and tapasr_57772aeb?

We ask that thread starters leave feedback for each person who replies.. We're all learning here and threads are supposed to be equal exchanges.. I know from experience that it's not very nice to see others get feedback for the readings they've done and getting none myself.

Sulis - moderator

Noted! Thank you Sulis for this. (oh I'm so ashamed now...believe me when I say I didn't mean to offend anyone, guys).

tapasr_57772aeb7 said:
He wants feelings before he does so.

That's also what I've been thinking as well. But do you mean it as in 1) he wants his feelings to be sure before he does so; or 2) He wants me to show some feelings to him before he does so? hmm

Esk said:
I think your guy as strong opinion about having sex just for sex. It seems he doesn't like that and it's against his values. For him it isn't right. If he talked about something in the past it is probably that he slept with a friend just for fun and it ended badly (maybe for him), and now he is very stric about this kind of things and follow what his brain says to him.

Furthermore he seems to me that he has some romantic feelings for you and value these feelings more than sex. With the knight of cups it can be that he has some kind of perfect fantasy about what a romantic relationship should be. Maybe you underlined more the physical aspect of the relationship and not the feelings. Maybe you should see if talking about feelings makes him open more (if you have feelings for him of course).
It's just a guess but maybe it's difficult for him to admit that because it's generally not a male personality trait.

Now you got me thinking on his past and everything haha. We haven't really talked about our past relationships or anything yet, so I'll have to keep guessing for now.

Interesting interpretation on the Knight of Cups...because, to think about it, he's the one who went on and on about his dreams of having his own family and kids. Like when we took this silly psychological tests together, his result came up as someone who's gonna be very protective of his family, etc. Anyway, definitely he's a romantic that way. As I said before...I was more of a Queen of Wands kind of girl, so maybe he thought everything happened on the spur of the moment and not...real?

IndigoWaves

Most people need decent "energy returns" from those to whom they're attracted, or they'll feel painfully unwanted and unappreciated (Wandsy/Fiery and Cupsy/Watery people, in particular)... But a King of Swords can be extremely aloof and undemonstrative, tending to retreat to the predictable security of the mind, leaving intimate relationships out in the cold. They're also able to put sex on the back burner, sometimes indefinitely, for whatever reason they happen to see fit -- and with an iron will that the Devil, himself, would struggle to sway. Kings in general are a stubborn lot, but this one holds especially firmly to the convictions that he forms, and (subtly or overtly) always fights to uphold them.

So, whether the Ace and Knight of Cups are how he's perceiving you, or a part of himself which brought pain in the past and he's now wary of, he clearly wants to block emotional energies: The King of Swords is at the fore, and he rarely permits a change of opinion. (RWS decks show this determination perfectly with a steely-eyed frown, clenched fist, and massive sword at the ready.) Endearing and persistent though the Cups may be, their sweet-voiced entreaties are likely falling on deaf ears.

Considering this and the fact that he doesn't even live close to you, I can't help but think that he would best be dropped. Though he may appear to be approachable and even compatible on certain levels, this guy could very well fail to satisfy you in vital ways -- keeping what you seek from him perpetually out of reach, perhaps avoiding a "real" relationship altogether. Wasted time and exercises in frustration seem all too likely to occur. Take care.

.

siyxx

IndigoWaves said:
Most people need decent "energy returns" from those to whom they're attracted, or they'll feel painfully unwanted and unappreciated (Wandsy/Fiery and Cupsy/Watery people, in particular)... But a King of Swords can be extremely aloof and undemonstrative, tending to retreat to the predictable security of the mind, leaving intimate relationships out in the cold. They're also able to put sex on the back burner, sometimes indefinitely, for whatever reason they happen to see fit -- and with an iron will that the Devil, himself, would struggle to sway. Kings in general are a stubborn lot, but this one holds especially firmly to the convictions that he forms, and (subtly or overtly) always fights to uphold them.

So, whether the Ace and Knight of Cups are how he's perceiving you, or a part of himself which brought pain in the past and he's now wary of, he clearly wants to block emotional energies: The King of Swords is at the fore, and he rarely permits a change of opinion. (RWS decks show this determination perfectly with a steely-eyed frown, clenched fist, and massive sword at the ready.) Endearing and persistent though the Cups may be, their sweet-voiced entreaties are likely falling on deaf ears.

Considering this and the fact that he doesn't even live close to you, I can't help but think that he would best be dropped. Though he may appear to be approachable and even compatible on certain levels, this guy could very well fail to satisfy you in vital ways -- keeping what you seek from him perpetually out of reach, perhaps avoiding a "real" relationship altogether. Wasted time and exercises in frustration seem all too likely to occur. Take care.

.

"Kings in general are a stubborn lot, but this one holds especially firmly to the convictions that he forms, and (subtly or overtly) always fights to uphold them." That's quite true...he's really obsessed with "doing the right thing" (whatever that means) even if it hurt him greatly *sigh*

Alas, that last part of yours sounds very similar to what my mother said when I told her about him *more sigh* I figure the idea of long distance relationship might not be as appealing once you're about to hit your thirties haha I guess we'll just have to be friends for now and be more cautious and patient if we want to develop it into something more.

tapasr_57772aeb7

siyxx said:
Noted! Thank you Sulis for this. (oh I'm so ashamed now...believe me when I say I didn't mean to offend anyone, guys).

That's also what I've been thinking as well. But do you mean it as in 1) he wants his feelings to be sure before he does so; or 2) He wants me to show some feelings to him before he does so? hmm

Now you got me thinking on his past and everything haha. We haven't really talked about our past relationships or anything yet, so I'll have to keep guessing for now.

Interesting interpretation on the Knight of Cups...because, to think about it, he's the one who went on and on about his dreams of having his own family and kids. Like when we took this silly psychological tests together, his result came up as someone who's gonna be very protective of his family, etc. Anyway, definitely he's a romantic that way. As I said before...I was more of a Queen of Wands kind of girl, so maybe he thought everything happened on the spur of the moment and not...real?

He want to have the feelings develop in himself before. There's got to be an emotional connection there for him.

Perhaps because he has little water in his natal chart he's emotionally starved? Who knows?