How Do You ask about Divorce (or other 'negative states/processes'?

prudence

Hi There,

When asking a question, as an apprentice tarot reader, I tend to try to simplify the question such that the presenting cards are fairly easy to distinguish in terms of a result.

The problem arises on questions that involve 'negatives' such that the cards, in affirming the existence of that negative phenomenon seems to give the opposite result/meaning.

Here it is:

Is he getting divorced now?

If I get affirmative cards screaming YES in a traditional sense, eg, 'Sun, temperance, world'

I might say yes... but the suggestion of the good times, celebrations, patience and communication in these cards might make my head spin with, 'wait, maybe he is trying to work it out with her'?

If I get '8 swords, 9 swords, 5 coins' - these cards would paint a picture of no, taken on the calibration they imbibé in and of themselves. But should I then infer that he is trapped, stressed and excluding himself from this (divorce) process via these cards?

Helpful Suggestions welcome!

Bonny:)

Thats good - yes , something to 'chat' about as you say!!

The only thing is I don't like to pry - I only want to know as much as a reflection as is useful for understanding his life with me. It's none of my business , their point of contact... so asking about the positive of the relating/marriage is indulging (for me) and feels karmicly wrong.

Great recommendation though! I think like you do - Just not in these topics...

Bless
First off, I'm fine with people doing third party readings. I think asking a neutral question like "what is the state of their marriage right now?" would be a less loaded (and presumptive) question than "how is the divorce proceeding now?" I'm also tripping up on the notion that asking about the dissolution of this marriage is somehow less indulging to you than asking about the positive. If you're dating him, then it seems more indulgent to look into their problems rather than into the marriage as a whole. I'm guessing he must have told you at some point in the past that he was indeed planning to get divorced, but that you haven't yet seen any movement towards this end. If he hasn't given you an update recently, or you both avoid discussing this planned divorce, I'd really question why this is so.

Sometimes I think we can fall into a trap with card readings, where we stop looking at what is actually happening in reality, and choose to see only what we've read in the cards (especially if what was "seen" in the cards showed only positive, happy, we will be together soon, kind of messages). It's easy to get led astray when readings seem like they're positive and the happy ending is sure to come soon, just pay attention to what is happening in real life as well. If a divorce has been in the works for over a year or two, maybe take into account that you're not getting all of the truth. Also, if you're in a long term committed relationship with a separated man, he really should be keeping you fully updated about this impending divorce. I can't imagine having to rely on just the cards to know something this crucial to your relationship with him.
 

Bonny

First off, I'm fine with people doing third party readings. I think asking a neutral question like "what is the state of their marriage right now?" would be a less loaded (and presumptive) question than "how is the divorce proceeding now?" I'm also tripping up on the notion that asking about the dissolution of this marriage is somehow less indulging to you than asking about the positive. If you're dating him, then it seems more indulgent to look into their problems rather than into the marriage as a whole. I'm guessing he must have told you at some point in the past that he was indeed planning to get divorced, but that you haven't yet seen any movement towards this end. If he hasn't given you an update recently, or you both avoid discussing this planned divorce, I'd really question why this is so.

Sometimes I think we can fall into a trap with card readings, where we stop looking at what is actually happening in reality, and choose to see only what we've read in the cards (especially if what was "seen" in the cards showed only positive, happy, we will be together soon, kind of messages). It's easy to get led astray when readings seem like they're positive and the happy ending is sure to come soon, just pay attention to what is happening in real life as well. If a divorce has been in the works for over a year or two, maybe take into account that you're not getting all of the truth. Also, if you're in a long term committed relationship with a separated man, he really should be keeping you fully updated about this impending divorce. I can't imagine having to rely on just the cards to know something this crucial to your relationship with him.



Hi Prudence,

The question on a divorce is something the semantics were giving grief over.

It has been endlessly refreshing to hear the well meaning,gentle, non-judgemental contributions to this threadby previous posters.

Bonny
 

prudence

Hi Prudence,

The question on a divorce is something the semantics were giving grief over.

It has been endlessly refreshing to hear the well meaning,gentle, non-judgemental contributions to this threadby previous posters.

Bonny

Well, as many threads here have shown, a lot of readers don't consider third party readings to be ethical, so that's where they're focusing in regards to your question. I am quite comfortable with third party readings, I think it's nearly impossible to read for a person without seeing the behavior/inclinations of others in their sphere. We don't live in a vacuum. My concern lies with relying too much on the cards and not what you are seeing in real life, i.e. no movement so far towards this divorce and yes, you should be fully briefed about this situation by your significant other, maybe not everyday, but at least once a month, especially if it's been going on for over a year or two. It doesn't seem normal nor fair for you to be so in the dark, considering the seriousness of your relationship with him.
 

Bonny

Well, as many threads here have shown, a lot of readers don't consider third party readings to be ethical, so that's where they're focusing in regards to your question. I am quite comfortable with third party readings, I think it's nearly impossible to read for a person without seeing the behavior/inclinations of others in their sphere. We don't live in a vacuum. My concern lies with relying too much on the cards and not what you are seeing in real life, i.e. no movement so far towards this divorce and yes, you should be fully briefed about this situation by your significant other, maybe not everyday, but at least once a month, especially if it's been going on for over a year or two. It doesn't seem normal nor fair for you to be so in the dark, considering the seriousness of your relationship with him.

Youre a Sweetie!

Don't worry - I'm sorting it.

Point taken that gazing at cards exclusively is no way to live a life.
Life is lived, yeah?

Thanks for chiming in. Much appreciated!!

Bless
 

Ruby Jewel

Youre a Sweetie!

Don't worry - I'm sorting it.

Point taken that gazing at cards exclusively is no way to live a life.
Life is lived, yeah?

Thanks for chiming in. Much appreciated!!

Bless

I think the point of disdaining third-person readings is that their energy is not really available to you, and the answer is in fact confusing. What you need to know is your own path through this conundrum. I would suggest asking the tarot cards to show you your own path to take instead of worrying about anyone else. No doubt in that spread you will see who this other person is and his intents relative to you...which is the real answer you are looking for. This is why it is so important to phrase your question properly....and the reason third-party readings actually do not work to clarify the issue. The energy is your energy they pick up on....how things are working relative to you. Your energy does not extend to the third party.

Equally important is to ask the cards who this person is who is apparently lying to two women. His energy is relative to you....and it is a legitimate question which I believe you will get an answer to.