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If you were a professional reader and I asked you.......

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empress's dress  empress's dress is offline
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i think your personal set of questions are great for you. if you turn off certain readers (even if that number is 99%) you have respected yourself and your needs. any reader who takes offense at your question is not the right one. and let's say if you liked grizabella'a answers then you found a person who might do one life changing job of a reading for you.

good for you for taking care of yourself. i think every client should go in with a set of things that they find important about the reader and that will change as the client's life changes.

and having a knowledge of psychology is often really wonderful. it makes the messenger a lot more thoughtful. not necessarily but usually it does. if a person would like to err on the side of someone with psychological knowledge or even a psychology degree, good for them.

this profession is filled with phonies. and even the best readers/ psychics are not 100% of the time right. and often the advice that goes with the message is really important too....and this is fine no is 100% right. the longer you work with someone, the more often you will be wrong. that is the way. even spirits are wrong. sorry they don't know everything. like we don't.

there are as many bad readers as there are psychologists or doctors or singers etc etc etc etc etc////

i wouldn't offended by questions like this. i might be offended more by the energy of a person who smiles and is narcissistic and does not ask a set of questions like this or comes in with serious personal issues and comes to a reading to escape any responsibility for taking care of their issues...but not a set of questions. these are different things.

eta: and of course you find someone who would be willing to answer these questions off the clock, preferably in a conversation or email exchange before the reading takes place. everyone has a different way of working. but hopefully someone would be willing to answer these question before the appointment. if the reader did not make themselves available like the before an appointment, then they are not for you either (at this point). no criticism to them. they work differently than you need...it just means they aren't offering you what you need right now.

every professional in every field should be willing to answer questions about how they work and feel about things off the clock before the first appointment. but sometimes it is not possible. if it's not possible then bad timing for you both, keep looking.

i would welcome these questions. and i ask my own set of questions. i would say it's a red flag when someone wouldn't answer them. it would mean to me they are full of themselves and untrustworthy unless they are kind enough to say you know i can't answer these questions, i am not the right reader for you and good luck on your journey and charge nothing. but these questions should be asked before the first session ideally.
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Go to Yelp and read reviews. Go to their website and read client testimonials. Look at all their social media pages. You will be able to find a reader with the level of professionalism you seek through online research. This is not to say that all good readers are all over the internet, but you will find ones that are and it will give you the reassurance you desire without interviewing them on your dime.
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Quote:
Originally Posted by silvereye View Post
Big red flag for a difficult client. I wouldn't read for someone who asks so many questions even before the reading.
I echo this, a possible nightmare client but it would also depend on the tone and manner in which the questions were being asked, and the persona of the client too as some people are just intrigued and inquisitive in which case I'd encourage them to skip the questions and judge the reading after they've got something to go on, questions welcome at the end time allowing or I'd cut the reading short to accommodate the questions if that was their wish.
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This is a difficult question. On the one hand I understand that you have had bad experiences before, on the other one, I wouldn't feel comfortable.

As a professional reader, I don't have a problem in explaining a querent how it is going to work, what they can expect and solve any questions that they may have. The point is that this kind of question list is not going to set the appropriate environment.

I wouldn't want to read for someone who presents me all those questions, specially in the way they are all phrased. It seems that you are putting the reader to test, that you are questioning their job beforehand and that you are going to backseat drive the reading.

Most readers have an about page in their website, where you can find out more about their approach, their experience and their work. If not, you could contact them and ask how do they work in general lines.

Anyway, this is like finding YOUR hairdresser, you may have to go through a few terrible haircuts and colors before you find the one who gets what you want.
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It would not offend me in the least, I would be glad for such questions - others might not like it or the reader in question might be outraged .

I actually wonder why someone would NOT ask such questions. . . . if they were deeply into tarot themselves and they seriously wanted a reading from a 'stranger' .

I would even answer them right here
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Quote:
Originally Posted by LabyrinthOfDreams View Post
I'm considering going to check out a "professional" reader down the road from my job. Being that I have experienced two negative readings from con artist in the past I've complied a list of questions that I expect answered before I make an appointment with this person.

What type of deck will you use and or will I have the option to choose my own deck?

Are you comfortable with the fact that I do read for myself and I am aware of the "book meaning" behind each card?

Are you put on the defensive by sitters who have a prior understanding of the tarot?

What type of spread will you be using for my reading if any are used at all and why?

Do I sound like the Spanish Inquisition here? I'm just a tad bit over the bullshit and I'd like the reader to know that I'm SERIOUS about her claims to be serious. Think I'll offend?
You don't sound like the Spanish Inquisition here, but as a professional reader, if you didn't accept NO for some of these questions, I would not read for you.

I don't mind a reader who "has a prior understanding of the tarot" but I do have an issue reading fellow readers because (at least when I first started) they would think "well that is not how I would read that card." I now know that is insulting and when a person starts doing it, I plop my arms down over the cards and glare at them. "Don't read my cards!" If they want to read them, they can read themselves. If they want ME to read for them, they have to open their mind to a different view than their own.

TO say YOU want to choose the deck (unless they give you a choice) is to try to control the reading, and the whole point is to get someone ELSE to read you and give you an interpretation.

In fact, I find these questions (the ones I copied from your original question) to be rather controlling. If you want that kind of control, read for yourself. If you want someone ELSE'S interpretation, let go of control and let them tell you what THEY see.

Some readers don't use a set spread, and that is OK too. You need to let the READER read. If you were a doctor and needed surgery, you can't tell the surgeon how to do his work. Same way with a reading. Not everyone does it the same way, and when you are getting read, you have to let them do it.

barb
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no, readers are not performing surgery. you are helping someone organize their life psychologically, spiritually and emotionally. you created an analogy that gives you way too much power for what you do. and before you had surgery unless it was a life or death situation and my god how scary... you would i hope make sure the doctor hasn't been in malpractice suits, hasn't harmed anyone, has a real degree, is affliated with a good hopsital (but sadly so few of us have the kind of choice). is someone you trust to cut you open. amazing how many people don't do that. and yes the doctor can still mess up. but you made sure some things were checked and it's smart. if you suffered malpractice by the hands of a surgeon your list would be very long and rightfully so.

she is making sure there is a match here. she can do whatever makes her feel comfortable. wow clearly many here are not the reader for her.



and con artists are also people who are delusional about their own skills and they would answer in a way that would reveal themselves or get touchy. and perfect sociopaths or adps whatever you want to call them are rare. but tarot reading certainly could attract them.

and there are such a thing as negative nasty readings that are there to scare you done either for money or the thrill of the reader feeling power. if you have not experienced them, good for you. i have and she is totally right to protect herself. and if she offends you because perhaps you don't care how low people in this profession can go, just wow. there needs to be ethics and accountability. and this is her approach. what is yours then?

how do people here who think this set of questions is offensive or too strong or whatever hold themselves accountable to their clients? and how would answering questions after the reading be the right way? how can you justify that?

eta: as long as every person here who feels put off by her questions had the kindness to tell her no you wouldn't read for her, you acted like a pro. just remember not all energies align. no one can help everyone. there is no perfect reader. and she is on her journey to not get burned. and you are on your journey. different journeys. she was burned. and that you couldn't show her compassion for that for that while telling her no i would also say is weird.
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Lets just keep in mind that this thread is from 2008, and the poster is long gone.
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empress's dress  empress's dress is offline
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Zephyros View Post
Lets just keep in mind that this thread is from 2008, and the poster is long gone.
but the discussion is alive and well. and amazingly reveals a lot about a reader's shadow side which is good for everyone.
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Of course, and I encourage that. I just meant that any comments directed personally at the OP will not be read.
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