The Question of the Third Person

Sulis said:

...Concentrate on yourself, you're the one that you can change.
Asking questions about other people is intrusive.
For example:
Instead of asking:
Is my boyfriend cheating on me?
It's better to ask:
What do I need to know about my relationship with my boyfriend? OR:
What can I do to improve my relationship with my boyfriend?...

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great stuff...very relevent.

Think of it as having a conversation with a person, in this case the reader and a deck of cards. They will answer you in conversation form. At least, that is how I see it. There is nothing I hate more in regular conversation is having someone give me one word answers. I want to reach over and throttle the person and scream: I know you have a brain, don't you have more than one word in your vocabulary?!!!

* Baroli heaves her chest as she explains and realizes people have stopped what they are doing and are watching,....she smiles to as she composes herself.

Asking what can I do to improve my relationship with X is a lot better than the latter. You're having a conversation.

Ah, I'm getting what you guys mean. Phrasing questions properly is something I have struggled with for years. Instead of focusing on the third or second party, one should focus on themselves and how it will effect them.

I think I'm starting to get it.

irisa, thank you for posting what you did about the 'I' in the question. That makes so much sense to me now.

Baroli, teehee, I have issues with that as well. Somehow I'm thinking that if I phrased questions differently, I would get a more detailed answer from my cards.

Very beneficial thread. Thanks for the input on my response to the OP, guys! I feel like I've learned a lot!

Oh come on!

this isn't the damn thought police.

If I can sit at home and wonder what A thinks about B, I can ask the tarot cards about it too.

Ok, it probably wont be useful, and any answer I get will probably be biased, but I can do it if I want to. It's not like it's a crime or anything.

And anyway, Maybe I don't want to know how to improve things, or whatever. If I want to know what A thinks about B then that's what I want to know and that's what I will ask.

Half of this thread seem to be 'how to fiddle the question so I can still ask what I want while remaining politically correct'.
And that's just stroking you own ego, that's just saying 'I don't ask bad or unethical questions like other people do' while actually asking it in a different way so you can feel good about yourself and still get what you want.
Semantics.

This is the tarot, this is a wicked pack of cards, this is the devils picture book. Sod ethics, sod being politically correct, ask what you want.

Oh dammit Lillie, when someone's paying for me to read, I don't want cards giving crap answers.

Reading for yourself, yeah, sure, ask what you want! When you get crap answers, there's a reason, which is that divination doesn't work that way. It doesn't give you what you want. It gives you what you need, like it or not.

So you might as well ask it outright: What do I need to know?

I don't know, I seem to manage third party question Ok, I get a lot for the alethiometer and I seem to do as well on them questions as on any other type.

Anyhow I'm better at answering questions about other people than I am answering questions about myself.

I suppose if all we can get is what we need to know than there becomes only one relevant question, the 'what do I need to know question', and I hardly ever get a sensible answer for them.

Whatever, my main objection was this idea that people who do obvious third party questions are somehow morally inferior to those that don't, or those that manipulate the question to answer the question that is not being asked.

Anyway, I'm in a right funny mood today.
It's not like any of it matters. I just like posting now that I can.

I like when you're in a right funny mood and am so glad you're back to poke me (and those other people too) in our inflated butts with that pointy Thoth you carry.

It does become Very Proper here in PurpleLand sometimes. Mea Culpa.

Still, when I'm doing it for pay, I won't do That.

Yes. It is.

You get a big gold star.

Thanks Lillie. See that's relevant because when I read a thread that's about 'does Y love me more than/ as much as he loves his car/ dog/ beer/ garden' or whatever then sometimes I think 'So why not just ask him instead of trying to mind read the poor bloke?' and I look at the cards and think 'They really aren't about him are they and this looks like wishful (or catastrophic) thinking to me' I don't SAY it because it would be disrespectful or something and I can't think of a way of putting it. So I write half a post and then delete it all again and go away.

And anyway I am not a madly experienced reader and I might well be wrong and there are load of people who can mind read without their own predjudices and thoughts gettting in the way.

I'm with debra though: wouldn't read that way for anyone else and even if I did I wouldn't believe the answers I got except as a message for the querent. I don't read for me that way either without wording it in a way I can believe in - otherwise I would just think 'yeah, yeah this is rubbish' which wouldn't help.

Lillie said:

Half of this thread seem to be 'how to fiddle the question so I can still ask what I want while remaining politically correct'.

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I would add pretentious to the list, but that's just me. god, I missed you, Lillie!

Lillie said:

This is the tarot, this is a wicked pack of cards, this is the devils picture book. Sod ethics, sod being politically correct, ask what you want.

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Amen to that, sister!